Book Review (and Giveaway) Praying Women by Sheila Walsh

Book Review (and Giveaway) Praying Women by Sheila Walsh

Posted on by Mary
Praying
Praying

A Personal Struggle

When I saw the book trailer for this book I was excited because for the first time…..in forever (I know roll your eyes to the F®owen reference) I felt as though I was going to get some help for the frustration I experience during prayer. I know I know I have heard it a million times before BUT Mary You are a pastor’s wife you are supposed to have all this figured out. Well I am here to tell you I don’t and if I thought I did…God would be pretty much done with me. I Need to have a spirit of teachability- a willingness to grow beyond where I am currently at. Some days I get frustrated because it feels as though there are not enough hours in a day to pray for all the things. then there are days or weeks (ahem- like this last week) where all I can pray is HELP ME JESUS. And then there are those days that I just cannot focus to save my life. So can you see why I was so excited about this book!

It’s Been a while

It’s been a hot minute since I have done a book review and that is because of circumstances outside of my control (more on that in another Blog post). However this past fall an opportunity fell into my lap where I could yet again join a launch team for an author I Love. .Now unlike other authors I have had the opportunity to help launch their book babies I have never had the opportunity to meet or talk one on one with Sheila Walsh, however I have had the opportunity to hear her speak in person and on various other formats and this is NOT my first review of her books. You can check out my book reviews of her books Peace For Today and Loved Back to Life. I found both of those books to be of great encouragement so when I saw the chance to help launch Praying Women It was a no brainer.

The Book : Praying Women

have you ever sat down with friends over a cup of coffee (or tea) and hashed out some of life’s difficult moments.Well imagine that’s what this book is. Let’s be honest prayer is a tough subject.A lot of us have questions that we are too afraid to ask for any number of reasons. In this book zShiela so graciously deals with these struggles and helps us find the biblical answers and encourages us to have a thriving prayer life.

sShe herself is open to the personal struggles she has had and guides us through biblical responses to those struggles. Praying Women is laid out according to our struggles like Praying through God’s silence. I don’t know about you but this is very hard for me .

Here is just one encouraging thought from the book on this topic!

If you have been waiting for a long time and God has been silent, let me ask you this: Do you still believe He loves you? When answers don’t come, do you still believe He is for you? Jesus asked if He will find faith among us when He returns. Will He? Do you believe God is in control? Do you believe He has a perfect plan for your life? Do you believe His timing is perfect? Until we settle how we will wait in the silence, we will be unsettled in our lives. When we determine to trust God in the silence, our faith in who He is grows stronger. Our witness becomes more powerful. Like Angus we can say to those who wonder why we’re still holding on, “He’s never failed me yet!” When we choose to place our hope in God, we have been promised that this hope will not disappoint (Rom. 5:3–5).

nNot only does Sheila Walsh share her own personal journey and struggles but she also waves in the accounts of others journeys and struggles. Two such stories are that of Joni ricks Tada and Michele Cushatt. these women’s powerful testimonies and personal struggles help us to understand we aren’t alone even when our stories are so different.

My Review: Praying Women

I am a huge fan of this book and not just because I was chosen to be on the launch team. This book meets a desperate need in the hearts of women and answers questions people on a whole have been asking for aery long time.

Yes it is a serious book on Prayer but Shiela writes in such a skillful way that has you giggling one minute and in tears the next. I love that she speaks truth and hasn’t glossed over the reality of her struggles. She write from an honest place of struggle with depression.

if we all lived with this kind of honesty and transparency both with each other and with God our walks with Him would be uninhibited.

I give this book 5 stars!

My two biggest Takeaways

By the end of the book I realized that there are two things I need to do. The first of which is I need to make sure I am putting my whole Armor on- I want to write out my armor in my prayer notebook so it’s easily found I also would like to post an abbreviate version by my desk as a daily reminder.

The second thing Sheila said that really stood out to me was the need for a battle verse. One that when we struggle with doubts and fears and the enemy’s sneak attack jumps out of no where we can pull it out and remind ourselves who we belong to and whois fighting for us!

IT’S GIVEAWAY TIME!

Who is ready for a giveaway? Let’s deal with the technical stuff first, this is for U.S. shipping only. AND you only get one entry. Since I was so graciously given a free copy for review I thought that I would pass the blessing onto you. All you have to do is comment below and tell me what your biggest struggle is in prayer. For me it is getting distracted. So leave your comments below. Comments will close Sunday evening at 8 pm EST at which time I will randomly pick a number by using random.org and if I pick your number you are the winner of the book! I will contact you and we will work out shipping details.

Great big THANK YOU!

Thank You so much to Baker Book house for providing me with a free digital and hard copy of this book for reviewing purposes. All opinions given in this review are my own and I am in no way compensated for a positive review. Thank you Shiela Walsh for writing this book. I cannot imagine writing it was easy but it was very much a huge blessing.

You Can purchase Praying Women HERE. (not an affiliate link)

Write 31 DaysDay 8- Esther’s Influential Attribute -CRAZY

Posted on by Mary

Crazy

Have you heard Steve Curtis  Chapman’s Song Something Crazy?  Here’s the link to check it out on Youtube  and you can find the Lyrics copied below- THIS is the kind of CRAZY I’m talking about !

“Something Crazy”

He’s got a Bible and a megaphone standing on the corner
And everybody’s saying he’s crazy
Well does he really think anybody wants to hear what he has to say
He’s not screaming anybody in fact it’s as if
It’s a love story that he’s trying to tell them

And he knows it may look a little strange
But he just smiles and says “that’s okay”
Cause you know sometimes love makes you act that way

And it’s crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do
Something crazy

I know a lady in Uganda and forty kids call her Momma
And everybody thought it was crazy
She used to drive a beemer, but I’ve never seen her
Any happier than she is now
I’ve met them all around the world, they’re the boys and girls
Filled up with the love of the Father

And they know it may seem a little strange
But they just smile and says “that’s alright”
Cause love puts everything in a different light

And it’s crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do
Something crazy

Something crazy
Crazy
Crazy when love gets a hold of you
Crazy, crazy
Crazy thing that love will make you do

Well, some might say it’s a crazy thing
To believe in a man who would say he came
From heaven down to earth because of love

But I just smile and say “that’s okay”
Cause you know sometimes love makes you act that way

And it’s crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do

Crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do
Something crazy

(Lyrics found at AZ Lyrics

My Crazy Story

When I was 19 I wason a plane headed for a country that persecutes Christians.

Everyone thought I was crazy. Maybe I was.(Ok I am-it’s an undeniable fact but that’s ok I’m completely comfortable with that)!

Then when I returned home 10 days later I headed off to Bible college.  Through my time there. I got a lot f “you gotta be  crazy”.  comments.    a couple were before each of 3 or  4 trips to NYC for street witnessing.  One of which was  7 months after 9/11.  We went to ground zero which was still a mess.  The images, noises and smells will be forever etched in my brain.  It was one of the single most hopeless experiences of my life.  Watching as people waited in hopes that their family member was still alive.   The wailing in mourning of loved ones.   The unnatural  nose burning smell that came from the smoke (not steam) from the manhole covers and sewer drains.   The digging of the vehicles as they creeped along the rubble trying to clean out the massive destruction.  and what felt like the miles and miles of memorial wall leading to Ground Zero..  This single moment – more than any other – helped me to understand the dire need our world is in – for their desperate need for HOPE- the HOPE I have In me – Hope that is a person!  THAT IS CRAZY!  And that is why we do what we do!

Getting married the same day we graduated.  Yep that qualifies us as CRAZY BUT we didn’t do it for ourselves, we did it for other people.   mostly our dad’s who both work weekends, and we were trying to eliminate the time they would need to take off.

When we had more than 2 kids we were told  we were crazy.  When we had 3 kids in 3 years we were told we were crazy BUT ya know what?  Those four kids are some of the most amazing people I know. Hubby and I were talking just yesterday about how special they are   I have never met four kids who love so deeply, EVERY SINGLE PERSON THEY MEET!  We have watched as our oldest who is 13  now but mourned the loss of people from  the time he was 4.  Always thinking about the people they left behind.   He also seeks justice for those who have been hurt deeply.  He has such moral standards that he seeks to have a marriage that is morally sound AT THIRTEEN! Yeah he has his flaws  BUT his heart !   Most people would say WOW that’s Crazy! And it is.

Our daughter is 12 and she is one of the most patient and sweet spirited kids I know.  She can help out with almost any child she comes in contact with and cares deeply.  She too is also flawed.  but she is 12  and very reliable and trust worthy.  She cares for children and animals.  she has a hunger for learning.

And the two younger boys.:

One has such radical unconditional love!  He might struggle with social cues and norms due to his autism BUT he will always be willing to give you a hug and tell you  You’re beautiful.

and the other is the most hardworking and determined 8 year old I have ever  Met.  He laments from time to time not knowing what he is good at BUT I can tell you this kid is gonna kill it when he gets older.  He has some challenges now with a learning problem BUT he is a fighter- literally ! Yep He’s got a temper BUT our greatest struggle oftentimes become our greatest  gift.

So Yeah I guess I’m 100% crazy AND I wouldn’t change a minute of it.  Outside of my salvation and Hubby these four crazies are the greatest blessing this mama could have ever asked for.  Parenting is hard.  Stuff kids deal with today is awful.   But those who have truly gotten to know our kids REALLY know what kind of blessing they are.  But those who think they know our kids but have never taken the time to get to know them and their hearts, they tend to be super critical.  The funny thing is OUR kids know it.  They know who really love them.  And we didn’t;t say a word.

I’m glad that we didn’t;t listen to the negative voices around us telling us how to live our lives.  I’m so grateful we followed God’s leading whether it looked crazy or not!

Being involved in many ministries.   Im not gonna list it all but a couple of times a year I get asked Are you Crazy?  MOSTLY BY MYSELF- and the answer is ABSOLUTELY!!!

I’m In GREAT Crazy Company!

If you look at history we look at people like Edison, Einstein, The Wright brothers,  Corrie Ten Boom’s family, JESUS, the disciples Peter, Paul, Ruth, Rehab (I could seriously keep going) just to name a few. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that almost every single person in Scripture were Crazy by their culture’s Standards- and they lived out their faith ANYWAY!

Even Esther was CRAZY

Esther told Mordecai in Esther 4:8-11; 15-17 that it would be crazy for her to go before the king because EVERYONE in EVERY province knows that if you go before the king you will die.  In a sense she saying are you nuts? Why are you asking me to do this? Everyone knows what happens when you do that!

Then after Mordecai gives his response of “well if you don’t, somebody else will and your gonna die anyway,”

She responds back If i die, I die.-That’s  CRAZY!

Safe and Sound

The opposite of Crazy is Safe.  We want to do everything that will keep us safe.  Safe socially, physically, financially and even emotionally.  We build walls and we protect ourselves from being hurt or ruin.

Peter when he denied Christ three times was out of a fear for his safety..  He didn’t want to be put on trial, publicly humiliated and possibly die.

Im gonna be honest here.  I have struggled with a few books as of late.  They are books that either I have read on my own or our Ladies Bible Study have done. 

Now while I think that both books have some great points and areas of  sound advice I saw something in myself that goes against one  my core beliefs.   That Core belief is that when I became a Christian and I gave my life to Jesus that it no longer was my own.   It is His to do with as He pleases- My home is His- Our Home is His.  My craft Stuff IS HIS!.   It is the principle of dying to self!  My life is not my own.   This has radically changed the way we do life in our home.

When I became a believer I gave my entire life over to God It is not my own.   I have handed it over to him.  And it is His to do with as HE sees fit not me.   And I’m not saying that you should not read either one of these books but they do have potential to create a negative influence factor in your life.  So I’m gonna share my struggles with both of these books.

 The Best Yes- There are many Positives to this book!  And the first time I worked through this book I asked some REALLY hard questions about the things I was doing and God posted out something that was not my best yes- Gardening.  I was doing because that is what all “good and frugal wife and mom’s do”. BUT I hate to garden and I don’t have the time to do it justice!!  I was driving myself and my poor hubby insane. We often times put these ideals on ourselves (an sometimes on others).  And if you take the 5 areas Lysa talks about in the Best Yes  and question your ideals looking at deep at the choices you are making FANTASTIC that is what she means by it BUT I found myself busing these principles to build walls- putting myself (AND GOD) in a box-  It became an area of control.  I found myself beginning to seek to control my circumstances and protect myself from those around me who have hurt me.  THAT IS NOT WHAT LYSA IS SAYING!

The second book is Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud. Now it’s the same basic thing.  I was using the principles in this book to build walls Protecting myself.

And then I heard a song:  I mean I already knew it!! BUT I really HEARD IT.

LIVE WITH ABANDON by the Newsboys

Here’s the YouTube Link

Here a couple of stand out lines from the song

  1. Chasing after this world makes me tired
    Praisin’ my own name leaves me dry
  2. I wanna live with abandon
    Give You all that I am
    Every part of my heart, Jesus
    I place in Your hands
    I wanna live with abandon
  3. I’ll drop everything to follow You
    It’s only Your hands I hold onto
  4. I’m not looking back
    I’m done with that
    Wanna give You all I have

EVERY PART- OUCH

My time

My enery

My Money

my sanity

EVERY SINGLE PART

We think it’s our job to protect ourselves BUT IT”S NOT.  Sometimes it’s when we get hurt that the most beautiful parts of us show through.   Like a refiner’s fire  (yeah now I’m dating myself!). Gold or any precious metals has to go through painful things in order to become the most pure form of itself Because that fire burns off the impurities.  If we protect ourselves from the hard stuff and we build walls- God’s gonna break free and use somebody else- Just like Mordecai told Esther!  By building protective walls you have rendered yourself useless.

By The Way our Ladies Bible Study is currently working through LET. IT. GO. and it’s all about releasing the control we have (or so desperately want). Im breaking down those walls of control!

How about You?

let’s Chat?  What is something that You have done that peole have looked at you and thought you were crazy and you chose to follow God anyway?

OR

What is God asking you to do and you are thinking NO WAY LORD THAT”S CRAZY!!!!!

Stretched Beyond Our Limits: On Being Willing to Try New Things

Posted on by Mary

On Being Stretched

New things…..That is what Life is all about. If you come to a place where you think you know everything that you need to know YOU ARE DONE.  you can no longer move forward!   You Must be willing to try new things, new methods, new ideas, new ministries. This is where God has been taking me lately  its been all about the new.   And I have a feeling there is more “new” around the corner but That NEW is for another blog post once I know JUST what that NEW looks like!  But for now lets talk about the few new things I’ve been stretched in.

I have often told my husband over the last 12 years that when the time came I would love to donate my time and energy at a Pregnancy center. Well after attending a banquet this spring , that calling became a reality.  Hubby ad I both decided it was time.   And so for the last two months, pretty much every Wednesday I have been volunteering,, mentoring, building relationships, and doing some cleaning/organizing work as well.  My confidence in some  areas is very low(for this introverted girl)  There are some great moments and some not so great moments that are hard.   AND THEN THERE ARE AMZING MOMENTS that make me want to shout from the roof top BUT I can’t, because everything is confidential and in that I am learning to to rejoice back to the Lord, because he knows and is exceedingly happy!  In light of the planned Parenthood videos being released, I know that this work is not only  saving Physical lives but it is redeeming souls as we introduce the hurting to Jesus.   If you really want to see the needs of this world, be willing to go into these hard places….whether it be a pregnancy center,  homeless shelter, a safe house, a rehab center, a nursing home a home for the disabled, a hospital. or any other place you can think of. The needs are great, though things may be painful at times reaching out to others and sharing Jesus is HUGE.

Another area that I have been stretch in and learned some new things took place within the last two weeks.  Using my gifts and abilities in BIGGER ways and in doing that it is in the public eye more which means learning too to be more  tolerant to those who are more critical of my gifts and abilities.  God has given us all gifts and abilities to be used, it is our job to grow them…..to figure them out, to fine tune them  and then to actually USE them.   As a parent is is also my job to see them and to develop them in my children and give my children the opportunity to use their gifts and abilities.  For years I have used my artistic abilities in little ways…through homemade cards, scrapbooks, little jewelry projects, gifts and so on, and in recent years I have used to artistic/design abilities to help with a parade float each year. And most recently i(within the last two weeks) My husband and I have built an entire set for VBS.   I have NEVER done anything to that scale. It was physically draining BUT Amazing  all wrapped into one. And when I was done, I was amazed that I had done it.   I couldn’t believe I was capable of such a thing.   BUT God is completely responsible.  HE gifted me, He gave me the ability I had to just be willing to use those things.  I had to be willing to EMBRACE my gifts and talents.  Ive endured ridicule for years for “wasting my time” doing “arts and crafts” and by sill”doing little kid” Projects, All of these “little, kid-like” projects I could do for Jesus.   These things were hard to hear (especially from friends and family) and I felt rejected, because I liked these things.  or that I spent time doing something others didn’t uderstand or that they thought just were a plain waste of time.  But in reality God gave me those gifts and if I didn’t use them…even in the little things, it would be a complete waste of resources HE gave me. I would not have been a good steward of those talents. We tend to think of resources as  time, materials and money BUT our gifts and abilities fit in there too!

www.walking-by-faith.net

And the next area of stretching is about to happen….its just two short days away and its taking all kinds of Stregth and courage, I just didn’t think I had!  My husband encouraged me to take a one week writing  break…..a break away from HIM and THE KIDS! I have been a wife for 12 years and a  mom for 10.  I have never been away from my children more than 48 hours at a time.   I manage our crazy schedule.  I plan and prep everything, I co-teach Sunday school with my husband.   I help in pretty much every are and I am not used to not being involved!.   SOO to be so removed and to be focused on myself is  not normal and not easy.  I have to relinquish shopping for school supplies. Kitty getting fixed, prepping for sunday school class, being apart of a moms group at the VBS program the kids will be attending (not at our church) letting someone else watch our kids during aan AWNA mtg, business mtg and prayer mtg.  AND its quite possibly one of my kids MIGHT be ill–.. he had a phantom fever AND is now complaining of a sore throat.  Did I mention I haven’t been alone at nighttime in over 12 years…I either have a husband or kids…Im not sure I like this, but I am willing to trust, my husband and God!  But this is also two fold.  This time will be also to build my writing gift and ability, working towards a book.  That is going to be hard, fighting distractions…like bed.  I won’t have TV and I have set some very lofty goals for the week.  Can I meet them all. I have a feeling I can…if I am very focused and VERY diligent, but its still HUGE test !  (NOTE: I wrote that thought Two days ago…and now here I sit ALONE.  It’s weird, no kids to kids club, no hubby sitting next to me in church or standing in the pulpit preaching, No kids begging to go to the pool, playground or to ride their bikes)

www.walking-by-faith.net-2

Another amazing opportunity That has stetted me and taught me MANY new things is Working as a Part of the RAISING GENERATIONS TODAY CONFERENCE Embrace team.  I have learned oodles upon oodles of things about social media…and I know I have a whole lot more to learn.   I haven’t mastered many areas and new options are added all the time…Like the most recent…Periscope, cool idea but a whole new level.  I have learned through this how to schedule posts for FB (Yeah That was aBIG blunders on my part at the beginning))  and using the Buffer app on my iPad to schedule twitter posts…and there is the idea of writing twitter posts…and keeping within the 145 characters, all while tagging the company, adding a link AND a photo.  It takes some Mad skills…Im nowhere close to having them, but with each and every post I gain new confidence and understanding .(click on the pic below to check out RGT….This is NOT an affiliate link)

Embrace_rectangleBLUEYELLOW

All of these things sound great but besides my own benefit it helps my children Immensely to see me struggle in areas Im not good at. It helps them to see me  accomplish something difficult and to conquer it, AND  to ask for help. So many times kids think they need to have it all together, that they need to be perfect and that they need to be good at everything. They also need to see my husband  and I are willing to stretch ourselves, to go beyond what we are comfortable with…AND to FAIL.  Yes sometimes we fall flat on our faces.  They NEED to see us get back up, dust ourselves off AND TRY AGAIN! Then we as parents need to be willing to talk about all of those things…the good, the ugly AND the Painful!. (Obviously age appropriateness  applies here) In reality the entire family can benefit from  mom and dad stepping out in faith, trusting God to grow their gifts and abilities and try new and sometimes scary things.

So what are some NEW things that you are growing in?  Are you having a willing spirit or are you dragging your feet kicking and screaming the whole way?   What would you like to learn?

Happy Homemaker Monday- October 28, 2013

Posted on by Mary

The Weather:::COLD!!!   And since it is still dark, I am hoping sun is part of the plan for today

Right now I am::fixing kids lunches, listening to Pandora

Thinking:: “i can’t wait to get to the book sale today!”

On my reading pile::: lol that’s funny, not a pile….a mountain.   My bible overwhelmed by Lisa Harper, women mentoring women by Terri Jenkin, and a women after god’s own heart by Elizabeth George just to name a few

On my tv::: nothing

Favorite Blog post this week (mine or other)::: My blog post from late last night HERE

Something fun to share:::

On the menu for this week::

Monday-hamburgers and hotdogs and fries

Tuesday-chocken and rice soup with fresh breah and salad

Wednesday-beef stroganoff and veggie

Thursday- crockpot meatloaf and potatos

Friday-pizza

Saturday-Chicken, rice and veggie

Sunday- bbq pork, scalloped potatoes and salad

On my to do list::: Put my house back in order after a crazy weekend! Weasel’s team meeting today, book sale!

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::nothing quite yet, but soon heart for out thankfulness tree!

Homemaking::I love the fall, not for the cold but for the re-direction back inside.  After the garden gets attention for half the year, it’s ni

Looking around the house::: construction mess from hubby working on our heat!

From the camera:::

On my prayer list:::many unspokens….i wish i could share but SORRY!

Bible verse, Devotional:::a thought from our missions conference this past weekend.  We had the assistant camp director that our kids go to and in his Q&A time yesterday morning, he said something that spurred some thoughts that will more than likely be worked through here!   But the general gist was this……we should not be focused on wanting the accolades of men but remember that we need to be focused on that audience of one. When we focus on pleasing God than the others will fall into place.  Then that was reinforced again last evening but another former camp director , now missionary with The Joy Clubs, and he shared that there comes a point where your encouragement comes from Christ, not others!

Being Ok with Where You Are Week 1- Chapters 1-4 AND A GIVEAWAY!

Posted on by Mary

Hi all!

I want to first say a HUGE thank you to Stacey Thacker for letting me be on the launch team for this book.   It has been a real pleasure reading and no re-reading the book!

So each Tuesday for the Month of September we will be sharing our stories as we have walked through this book.

For me specifically I will be sharing two different journeys God has brought me through.  You will see some similarities, but hopefully you will see some differences too!

So let’s get Started, shall we?

Chapter 1.Admit It

The year was 1996, and I was 16 and a Sophomore in high school and I was NOT OK!   My birthday in March came and went.there was no more talk of a permit test or a car…matter of fact…nothing much was talked about.  I was at the absolute lowest I have ever been in my life, before or since!   What could possibly be wrong that would devastate a young girl who had her whole life ahead of her?  One word……BLINDNESS.  YEP…she was going blind.  No one knew how bad it would get, not even the doctors.    All she knew was she could never, ever drive…..that meant a sense of no freedom.  Public school was harsh too.  Teachers who either didn’t want to understand, or were incapable of understanding, kids who teased before teased relentlessly now, people accused her of wanting attention .an IEP (an individualized Education Plan) meetings, mobility instructors, school psychologists and guidance counselors……she lacked purpose, hope, and courage……And was surrounded by loneliness!   Admitting it was not an option, fear is all she felt!

Fast forward 11 years. 3 days after Thanksgiving, this same girl now married for four years was in the hospital praying that she would soon go into labor with her third child, her second son.  Twenty grueling hours later he came into the world…not crying, blue as blue could be.  The cord was around his neck and his Apgar numbers were very low.  They whisked him off, trying their hardest to make sure he was gonna make it….and that girl?  She slept, long and hard.  The meds had finally kicked in.  And yet for the next five years she kept quiet.   The things she had felt.   Admitting she too had nearly not made it.  The only thing she can remember his her husband saying breathe Mary Breathe.    After 5 years this momma sits holding that same boy as he screams, rocking back and forth smacking his head into her teeth…..no one knows, no one understands.  It’s not a discipline issue?  What’s wrong with her poor baby?  What did she do wrong?

In both instances fear gripped me!   The first time it was the fear of the uncertain.  The second it was fear of what other people might think of me.   A pastors wife who can’t “handle” her child!   Oh the horror.  I had myself convinced that because of this my husbands job was on the line…oh what if people knew?

It started with some very vague conversations.  It still continues…..

Chapter 2 Give It to God

It’s still 1996 that girl is still 16.   After she admitted her struggles to her mom, who then made go talk to her pastor things started to change.  She gave this difficulty in her life, this speed bump to God.  Within a few months she had dedicated her life to ministry during a missions conference…she thought it would be as a missionary to Germany, but God had other plans. In December she got baptized and  a 6 months later transferred to the local Christian school.l  and a year after that found herself on an airplane heading to a country in the 10-40 window as a short term missionary to a communist country…..ALL BECAUSE OF HER BLINDNESS!  Without that she could have never gone to the Christian school, and she would have never met the missionary that spoke in chapel one Wednesday!

Skip ahead to the winter of this year January to be exact.   One broken WEARY momma sat on the couch.  For weeks now God had been bringing a book to mind that she had acquired for free.  As this worn, defeated mom began to read, the tears just flowed.  She determined in her heart to fight for her son, no matter the cost.she gave it all to God, the hurt feelings, the pain and heartache of watching your child suffer through the simplest of life moments, the rejection of a school, the blame people placed on her.  It all went to God.  She has to give it to him sometimes multiple times a day but  she can’t hold it all herself.

Chapter 3 Removing the veil of Fine

As a teenager/ college student young adult this young lady never learned this lesson.  It wasn’t until she was 32 and a mom of four.  One of whom is autistic that she learned this.  Its ok to not be fine .  This veil is deceitful….it’s a lie we tell ourselves and others and for me it too was based in fear. “What will people think if this pastor’s wife isn’t fine?”  I had to come to the realization of this…I’m human, I make mistakes, I will NEVER. Be perfect in anyones eyes!”

Chapter 4 The “C” Word

Yep Comparison….also called could be seen as covetousness.   The it’s not fair attitude…

Oh yeah as a 16 year old who would never be able to drive herself anywhere, had to have super huge text books, sit up front….blah blah blah, the world seemed so unfair at the time.   It was a real struggle!

In 2008/2009 as our little guy headed towards major milestones, i compared him to our six or seven other friends babies sailed through them, we longed to hear him talk, even to just babble …or walk…normally.  In my heart I cried it’s not fair.  And just as he tested out of speech and physical therapy in 2010,  began one of the most “unfair” things in life….a year of death   Within a year  3 family members, 6 friends, and  an infant (and a member or two from church) all passed away.but i think in a way God was preparing me for what was coming next.  He knew I needed to be prepared and to not call a foul on life.  It was during that time fairness became an invalid claim.  It wasn’t about fair, it was about God’s plan….and his plan is perfect!

So there ends my discussion for this week. Tune in next week for my story through Chapter , 5,6,&7

Now for that giveaway.

I am giving away one PDF  copy of BEING OK WITH WHERE YOU ARE. By Stacey Thacker

Here are my rules

1.you must comment on this blog post to be eligible.

2.in that comment tell me something you hope to grow in through this book and tell me which stage of this blog post (chapter 1,2,3, or 4) impacted/ challenged you the most

 

Next Tuesday I will generate a number on Random.org  and announce the winner in next Tuesdays blog post!

Have a blessed week and good luck!
For more BEING OK stories click here