Write 31 DaysDay 8- Esther’s Influential Attribute -CRAZY

Crazy

Have you heard Steve Curtis  Chapman’s Song Something Crazy?  Here’s the link to check it out on Youtube  and you can find the Lyrics copied below- THIS is the kind of CRAZY I’m talking about !

“Something Crazy”

He’s got a Bible and a megaphone standing on the corner
And everybody’s saying he’s crazy
Well does he really think anybody wants to hear what he has to say
He’s not screaming anybody in fact it’s as if
It’s a love story that he’s trying to tell them

And he knows it may look a little strange
But he just smiles and says “that’s okay”
Cause you know sometimes love makes you act that way

And it’s crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do
Something crazy

I know a lady in Uganda and forty kids call her Momma
And everybody thought it was crazy
She used to drive a beemer, but I’ve never seen her
Any happier than she is now
I’ve met them all around the world, they’re the boys and girls
Filled up with the love of the Father

And they know it may seem a little strange
But they just smile and says “that’s alright”
Cause love puts everything in a different light

And it’s crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do
Something crazy

Something crazy
Crazy
Crazy when love gets a hold of you
Crazy, crazy
Crazy thing that love will make you do

Well, some might say it’s a crazy thing
To believe in a man who would say he came
From heaven down to earth because of love

But I just smile and say “that’s okay”
Cause you know sometimes love makes you act that way

And it’s crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do

Crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it’s crazy things that love will make you do
And it’s crazy but it’s true
You really don’t know love at all
Until it’s making you do
Something crazy

(Lyrics found at AZ Lyrics

My Crazy Story

When I was 19 I wason a plane headed for a country that persecutes Christians.

Everyone thought I was crazy. Maybe I was.(Ok I am-it’s an undeniable fact but that’s ok I’m completely comfortable with that)!

Then when I returned home 10 days later I headed off to Bible college.  Through my time there. I got a lot f “you gotta be  crazy”.  comments.    a couple were before each of 3 or  4 trips to NYC for street witnessing.  One of which was  7 months after 9/11.  We went to ground zero which was still a mess.  The images, noises and smells will be forever etched in my brain.  It was one of the single most hopeless experiences of my life.  Watching as people waited in hopes that their family member was still alive.   The wailing in mourning of loved ones.   The unnatural  nose burning smell that came from the smoke (not steam) from the manhole covers and sewer drains.   The digging of the vehicles as they creeped along the rubble trying to clean out the massive destruction.  and what felt like the miles and miles of memorial wall leading to Ground Zero..  This single moment – more than any other – helped me to understand the dire need our world is in – for their desperate need for HOPE- the HOPE I have In me – Hope that is a person!  THAT IS CRAZY!  And that is why we do what we do!

Getting married the same day we graduated.  Yep that qualifies us as CRAZY BUT we didn’t do it for ourselves, we did it for other people.   mostly our dad’s who both work weekends, and we were trying to eliminate the time they would need to take off.

When we had more than 2 kids we were told  we were crazy.  When we had 3 kids in 3 years we were told we were crazy BUT ya know what?  Those four kids are some of the most amazing people I know. Hubby and I were talking just yesterday about how special they are   I have never met four kids who love so deeply, EVERY SINGLE PERSON THEY MEET!  We have watched as our oldest who is 13  now but mourned the loss of people from  the time he was 4.  Always thinking about the people they left behind.   He also seeks justice for those who have been hurt deeply.  He has such moral standards that he seeks to have a marriage that is morally sound AT THIRTEEN! Yeah he has his flaws  BUT his heart !   Most people would say WOW that’s Crazy! And it is.

Our daughter is 12 and she is one of the most patient and sweet spirited kids I know.  She can help out with almost any child she comes in contact with and cares deeply.  She too is also flawed.  but she is 12  and very reliable and trust worthy.  She cares for children and animals.  she has a hunger for learning.

And the two younger boys.:

One has such radical unconditional love!  He might struggle with social cues and norms due to his autism BUT he will always be willing to give you a hug and tell you  You’re beautiful.

and the other is the most hardworking and determined 8 year old I have ever  Met.  He laments from time to time not knowing what he is good at BUT I can tell you this kid is gonna kill it when he gets older.  He has some challenges now with a learning problem BUT he is a fighter- literally ! Yep He’s got a temper BUT our greatest struggle oftentimes become our greatest  gift.

So Yeah I guess I’m 100% crazy AND I wouldn’t change a minute of it.  Outside of my salvation and Hubby these four crazies are the greatest blessing this mama could have ever asked for.  Parenting is hard.  Stuff kids deal with today is awful.   But those who have truly gotten to know our kids REALLY know what kind of blessing they are.  But those who think they know our kids but have never taken the time to get to know them and their hearts, they tend to be super critical.  The funny thing is OUR kids know it.  They know who really love them.  And we didn’t;t say a word.

I’m glad that we didn’t;t listen to the negative voices around us telling us how to live our lives.  I’m so grateful we followed God’s leading whether it looked crazy or not!

Being involved in many ministries.   Im not gonna list it all but a couple of times a year I get asked Are you Crazy?  MOSTLY BY MYSELF- and the answer is ABSOLUTELY!!!

I’m In GREAT Crazy Company!

If you look at history we look at people like Edison, Einstein, The Wright brothers,  Corrie Ten Boom’s family, JESUS, the disciples Peter, Paul, Ruth, Rehab (I could seriously keep going) just to name a few. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that almost every single person in Scripture were Crazy by their culture’s Standards- and they lived out their faith ANYWAY!

Even Esther was CRAZY

Esther told Mordecai in Esther 4:8-11; 15-17 that it would be crazy for her to go before the king because EVERYONE in EVERY province knows that if you go before the king you will die.  In a sense she saying are you nuts? Why are you asking me to do this? Everyone knows what happens when you do that!

Then after Mordecai gives his response of “well if you don’t, somebody else will and your gonna die anyway,”

She responds back If i die, I die.-That’s  CRAZY!

Safe and Sound

The opposite of Crazy is Safe.  We want to do everything that will keep us safe.  Safe socially, physically, financially and even emotionally.  We build walls and we protect ourselves from being hurt or ruin.

Peter when he denied Christ three times was out of a fear for his safety..  He didn’t want to be put on trial, publicly humiliated and possibly die.

Im gonna be honest here.  I have struggled with a few books as of late.  They are books that either I have read on my own or our Ladies Bible Study have done. 

Now while I think that both books have some great points and areas of  sound advice I saw something in myself that goes against one  my core beliefs.   That Core belief is that when I became a Christian and I gave my life to Jesus that it no longer was my own.   It is His to do with as He pleases- My home is His- Our Home is His.  My craft Stuff IS HIS!.   It is the principle of dying to self!  My life is not my own.   This has radically changed the way we do life in our home.

When I became a believer I gave my entire life over to God It is not my own.   I have handed it over to him.  And it is His to do with as HE sees fit not me.   And I’m not saying that you should not read either one of these books but they do have potential to create a negative influence factor in your life.  So I’m gonna share my struggles with both of these books.

 The Best Yes- There are many Positives to this book!  And the first time I worked through this book I asked some REALLY hard questions about the things I was doing and God posted out something that was not my best yes- Gardening.  I was doing because that is what all “good and frugal wife and mom’s do”. BUT I hate to garden and I don’t have the time to do it justice!!  I was driving myself and my poor hubby insane. We often times put these ideals on ourselves (an sometimes on others).  And if you take the 5 areas Lysa talks about in the Best Yes  and question your ideals looking at deep at the choices you are making FANTASTIC that is what she means by it BUT I found myself busing these principles to build walls- putting myself (AND GOD) in a box-  It became an area of control.  I found myself beginning to seek to control my circumstances and protect myself from those around me who have hurt me.  THAT IS NOT WHAT LYSA IS SAYING!

The second book is Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud. Now it’s the same basic thing.  I was using the principles in this book to build walls Protecting myself.

And then I heard a song:  I mean I already knew it!! BUT I really HEARD IT.

LIVE WITH ABANDON by the Newsboys

Here’s the YouTube Link

Here a couple of stand out lines from the song

  1. Chasing after this world makes me tired
    Praisin’ my own name leaves me dry
  2. I wanna live with abandon
    Give You all that I am
    Every part of my heart, Jesus
    I place in Your hands
    I wanna live with abandon
  3. I’ll drop everything to follow You
    It’s only Your hands I hold onto
  4. I’m not looking back
    I’m done with that
    Wanna give You all I have

EVERY PART- OUCH

My time

My enery

My Money

my sanity

EVERY SINGLE PART

We think it’s our job to protect ourselves BUT IT”S NOT.  Sometimes it’s when we get hurt that the most beautiful parts of us show through.   Like a refiner’s fire  (yeah now I’m dating myself!). Gold or any precious metals has to go through painful things in order to become the most pure form of itself Because that fire burns off the impurities.  If we protect ourselves from the hard stuff and we build walls- God’s gonna break free and use somebody else- Just like Mordecai told Esther!  By building protective walls you have rendered yourself useless.

By The Way our Ladies Bible Study is currently working through LET. IT. GO. and it’s all about releasing the control we have (or so desperately want). Im breaking down those walls of control!

How about You?

let’s Chat?  What is something that You have done that peole have looked at you and thought you were crazy and you chose to follow God anyway?

OR

What is God asking you to do and you are thinking NO WAY LORD THAT”S CRAZY!!!!!

Crazy- Happy Homemaker Monday- 7/23/2018

To say the last few months has been crazy would be nothing short of a gross understatement.  I sit here alone tonihght in our camper and my head is swimming with all that needs to be done, what I want to get done and what I want to do!

Here’s the thing…What NEEDS to be done is 3 hours from here and I can’t drive! Ha guess I am stuck

What I want to get done is  a ton of reading and writing…..the writing stuff I REALLY wanted to work on…left on my desk…at home …..three hours from here…AND  I can’t drive!!! as for the reading I’m just slightly overwhelmed by how far behind I am (they are my own goals- I should just say …SING IT WITH ME…let it go, Let it Go…..BUT I CAN’T!)

So here I sit doing what I want to do BLOGGING!  I haven’t in such a long time and I miss it more than anyone realizes and yet Life has been so crazy.

So let’s get into this!

The weather:::. RAINY and I love it.  It’s one of my favorite things while at camp is hearing rain on the camper roof

As I look outside my window::: Darkness…..

Right now I am:::  TYPING Duh.  and reading an ebook in between

Thinking and pondering::: about our 3 youngest kids who are at a different camp this week!

On my bedside table::: nothing there is no bedside table here but we can talk kitchen Table : 2 planners, 2 pen cases 7 books 4 notebooks, 3 journals and a trail mix container containing my own concoction of my favorite things

On my tv::: NOTHING (and yes we have a TV in our camper but it won’t get hardly used while I am here alone)

On the menu for this week::: There is no menu for this week.  It is all quick convince foods.  – not the healthiest necessarily but I don’t eat a whole lot this week either.

On my to do list::: read, write , pray, study the Bible, go to or listen to services on the radio

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating::: nothing though I did bring my painting/ drawing tools

My simple pleasure:::  chocolate while I write, though it is securely in the closet as we speak because it does horrible things to my stomach if I eat it at night!

Lesson learned the past week::: do not have your kids pack for camp while you are having a meeting AND Always check your son’s bags BEFORE they leave for camp.  I did this at the last minute and I don’t regret it.

Looking around the house::: the camper is neat as a pin!

From the camera:::  3 kids and there camp counselors  (and one crazy random child who wanted to photobomb)

crazy 1crazy 2Crazy 3

Prayer List::: On my prayer list for today are our four kids, three of whom are at camp. our youth group, ladies Bible study and me as I see to grow closer to God this week

Bible verse, Devotional::: I am currently reading about the woman at the well.  and the author I am reading posts out that Jesus intentionally met her there (at the well). He went that way to meet her specifically.  He  had purpose and the author points out the same thing about us.  God is intentional about meeting us where we are.  I needed that so much!

For more Happy Homemaker Monday posts check out Diary of a Stay at Home Mom

Random Ramblings: CRAZY weekend

Actually its been a super crazy week since I last wrote a Random Ramblings….. Crazy Crazy CRAZY!!!!

Let’s Start with last week.

J was home from school on Monday because he had a fever the night before..and the school holds to a 24 hour policy without meds. T, K, and S went to school, but we were all very aware about the storm heading our way.  Hubby had a meeting Monday night.  Snow showed up Early Tuesday morning and we quickly realized that things had changed over night…our original 12 inches was upgraded and by Tuesday evening we had 29 inches of snow.  did I mention the kids had a snow day Tuesday )YAY)…..and then Tuesday afternoon a travel ban was put into place…… so Wednesday no school….Thursday rolled around and the roads were much better excluding the drift spots, but no AWANA that night.  J’s respite care worker came Thursday and Friday instead of Tuesday and Wednesday…. Hmmm I wonder why. Hubby  was at church from 10-4-430 and then we had some errands to run and dinner out together (Are you getting tired yet, cuz I am just writing it.  THEN Friday Happened….Initially all the kids had off school for Friday but since they exceeded their 5 allotted snow days T, K, and S all had school on Friday  so it was just J home.  Hubby and J went to church to finish up the previous days project.  When they came home J’s service coordinator came for a brief meeting and his respite care worker came…we ate a quick lunch and were off to visit a church person who also had her gall bladder out last week (That is 3 of us from our church in about 3 months), then we had to pick up the kids from school (OOPS almost forgot that detail…thanks J for reminding us at lunch) had to o pick up K’s friend, whose parents are our church’s youth leaders, from her grandparents house so she could come spend the weekend with K while her parents, I and two teenagers went to a youth rally….. BREATHE!!! We drove home that night, stopped at Walmart  and came home….. slept….. then left AGAIN the next morning to head back.  We were there till 5ish and then headed home again… IN MORE SNOW.  I didn’t get to go right home though I had a meeting at church that took a while because it involved some artistic work… and you know artists, we are our own worst critics!   Yep OCD was strong!!  I came home to my children (T & K) preparing dinner for us!  What a blessing those two are!  And that leads us to Sunday with all the normal Sunday stuff for a pastor’s family.

This life is crazy and we all go through crazy times but in the end we have choices.  As the speaker at the youth rally I attended this weekend shared as he spoke through 1 Corinthians 13, we all have a choice in being loving we can be kind or we can be rude….. So in these times of  Crazy it’s very easy to become self absorbed and rude, I mean ungrateful… and much more or we can CHOOSE  to look beyond our crazy, our horrible, our circumstances and be who God has called us to be…… LOVING!   It’s not easy and it takes a ton of practice.  I know I’m not there yet.  I’m not perfect and I most certainly DON’T have this all figured out. So start small. That’s what I am doing. I’m picking one thing….. and I’m choosing to pay attention to others rather than my crazy! How about you? What keeps you from being loving when THAT is what God calls us to do?