Meet the Team

Posted on by Mary
Team

Happy Wednesday Friends! I have been waiting on the edge of my seat for almost two weeks to introduce you to my prayer team. In reality, these sweet women have been praying for me a lot longer than when I asked them to join me on my journey. They are the only other 2 people on this website who I will use their real first names. This is just another baby step in me letting go of the “mental chess game” I have been struggling with for some time. And in giving up the game I am going to share about these two very special ladies. I can honestly tell you that without them the 100 Days of Choosing Courage blogging project I did this past August-November would have never been finished!

Why A Team

We were never meant to do life alone. We were made to need each other. This is something that God has been teaching hubby and I for some time now. It is why we chose the church we chose. It’s not just about just having a team either. It’s about having the right team. One that loves unconditionally and cares for each other and seeks the others best interests and growth over their own.

Who they are

Meet Beth and Steph! These two women! they amaze me. Each of them has quite the stories of their own. The really held me up last December when my health was turned on its ear. They checked in, they sent encouraging texts, and really listened when I was struggling.

Beth has been a LONG TIME friend of hubby’s family. Beth’s two sons played with Hubby and his brother at the same bible conference we have attended for many years. And now Her grandkids and our kids run and play in the same places their dad did over 20 years ago. Beth and I have connected deeply while at the Bible conference and our friendship has just grown over the last number of years. When hubby and I told her and her hubby that he was resigning from his position they came to us and we had lunch and talked. If ever I’ve had an iron sharpening iron friendship this is it!

Steph and I have been friends since college albeit not as close as we are now. We reconnected through a mutual friend and our friendship has grown deeper as well. We have kids the same age. Our families have a great time together and Steph has been a real light in some struggles we can often be found texting each other about some insanity one of our crazy children has done! A few times she has talked me off the ledge of frustration.

Why a prayer team

BECAUSE I NEED A LOT OF PRAYER! Actually, I was chatting with another friend who is another author and she mentioned she had a prayer team. We talked about what that looked like and the why. That was a number of years ago and I was not in the place to have such a thing. There is A LOT that goes into this but it just wasn’t the time.

Fast forward to this past August when I attended the Global Leadership Summit with hubby. To say I was sick at the time was an understatement Anxiety was an all-day everyday experience I was barely functioning on extremely low iron. Actually, the second day of the conference started out with my first iron infusion But during that conference, I heard a speaker talk about her 100 days of facing her fears. AND AT THAT MOMENT I KNEW…I had to face a fear…YES, ONE…..BLOGGING! weird right? I have been blogging for this insane amount of time and I was afraid of it. Well, that’s because I have been roughly criticized by people who I counted as friends. Those hurts caused me to nearly quit but I have this pretty amazing hubby who wouldn’t let me do that. Enter more mental Chess.

Actually, I had to face two fears. I knew I was going to need accountability and that was going to require me asking someone….and EVERY other time that happened it ended with me getting hurt HORRIBLY. To say I had trust issues is an understatement.

So I prayed and asked God who could serve as a prayer partner for this journey I was about to undertake. Steph was the first person I would ask and then a few weeks later I would add Beth. I created a text thread that introduced the two of them and the rest is history.

The Journey

I cannot tell you the number of times I hit a roadblock and one of the two of them OR BOTH would text me and tell me what the last post had meant to them. It would give me the shot in the arm I needed to keep going.

If I happened to be struggling with a topic or something I could shoot some thoughts off of them. And when that journey ended in November we still kept in contact via that text thread and we still shared prayer requests frustrations and other things.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I had a rather nerve-wracking meeting scheduled for a Tuesday morning. God had really made some things come to the forefront in my life and it needed to be dealt with as much I didn’t want to. I needed prayer. I knew Hubby would be praying for me but I knew that I needed o contact Steph and Beth and asked them to do the same. And they said they would…..but they like the amazing friends they are didn’t leave it there! They checked in later that night.

AND ALL I HAD TO SAY WAS……

“I wish I could have coffee with the two of you.” Their response was Let’s make it happen and within 10 minutes we had a date time and place. And this past Friday it happened. Steph and Beth had never met each other. It was amazing. I had never had something like that happen. And I spilled my guts. They listened. They loved, We laughed and we grew together. They know there are going to be some challenging posts coming down the line. I don’t know when. But I know that I can count on them to pre-read and pray me through and help me fight off the mental chess games I apparently love to play.

When It comes down to it these two ladies have challenged me to be the best me I can be. When I asked them to take on this role I had no idea what path I was going to head down next. I am a fairly content person. I am not looking for the next cliff to leap off of because we ALL know how I feel about Heights!! ACK!

But as We wrapped up Friday’s meeting I had something rolling in my head. Back in September Beth had read one of my Posts “When You Lose Yourself” and she said she thought it would work great as a book chapter (Beth has known for a long time that this is a HUGE dream that not very many people know about). She said she felt like it was the beginning of a book….and as I sit here re-reading that post I am dumbfounded. She saw something I didn’t and now….now I have more to add..more I didn’t know or maybe understand before

As a matter of fact, as I have sat here scrolling the text messages over the last 8 months a lot has happened. God really is so amazing at how he orchestrates things.

Thank you Ladies

Thank you for embarking on this wild journey that NONE of us fully understand we are on!

Thank you for dropping everything for me!

Thank you for your shining example of friendship and Jesus’ unconditional love.

Thanks for checking in!

Thanks for reading!

Thank you for making me laugh!

Thanks for helping me become a better Jesus follower and communicator!

And most of all thank you for praying!!!

Getting Ready: Happy Homemaker Monday 3-28-2022

Posted on by Mary
Ready

Good Morning friends and Happy Monday! I cannot believe last week just flew by! We find ourselves in full swing of getting ready for our upcoming move. We don’t know when that is exactly because……that’s life but we need to be ready in certain ways. And getting sick TWICE in March hindered those plans so now we need to get back into gear.

Thanks for joining me today!

♥♥ The Weather ♥♥

.So this week we get to experience the full spectrum of what sprig REALLY is like in central NY. We have temps today with a HIGH of 18 and then by Thursday, we will be in the mid- 60’s. we will have everything from snow to good old thunderstorms and hopefully, a bunch of sun mixed in!

♥♥ As I look outside my window ♥♥

SNOW- Can’t even see the mountain behind our house. Give it a few minutes and the sun will be trying desperately to peek out…

    ♥♥ Right now I am ♥♥ 

At the kitchen table with my Bullet Journal and pen by my side. I have to keep taking breaks from this blog post to jot down all the “things to do” running through my head. There is so much to do!!

♥♥ Thinking and pondering ♥♥ 

SOOO much. I guess the biggest two things are my ever-mounting to-do list. Both school-related and house-related. And then blogging ideas that seem to be running free. I can’t seem to keep on top of the ideas. I carry a notebook with me EVERYWHERE!


 ♥♥ Homemaking tips ♥♥ 

As we plan to “live ” in our camper as we transition to working on our new home (that will hopefully happen at the end of the month) I have created a four-week rotating menu. Thankfully we will not be limited by minimal electricity/ Fridge/ Laundry and the like. I just needed to create a simplified menu that eliminated the brainwork I usually invest in it each week.


♥♥ How I am feeling ♥♥

I think that because of having COVID it hurt my immune system (As if I didn’t have enough trouble!!). The Doctor who monitors my IVIG said that’s probably why my numbers are lower so I have managed to struggle with a bunch f stomach issues. I have also been dealing with some longtime stress. Not a bad thing but it can be for sure mentally draining at times. So As I have worked through some of that stuff over the last few weeks I have been in the process of laying boundaries for myself and creating a series of checklists for myself that takes away the trying to remember certain things every day. It has helped for sure

♥♥ On the breakfast plate ♥♥

Cup of coffee and some toast

♥♥ On my reading pile ♥
  • Finishing the book of John
  • The Life-Giving Home
  • Guilt
  • Hello Fears
♥♥ On my TV ♥♥

Nothing really but I’m listening to the Mom to Mom Podcast and some books on my Kindle app

♥♥ On the menu ♥♥

Monday – Soup and salad
Tuesday – Make Your own salad bar
Wednesday – Tacos
Thursday – Sandwiches and salad
Friday – Ribs and mashed potatoes
Saturday – Tater Tot Casserole
Sunday –  Baked Ziti

♥♥ From the camera ♥♥
Our drive to church late last week
♥♥ Looking around the house ♥♥I

BOXES UPON BOXES

♥♥ To do list ♥♥

All the normal stuff…dishes, laundry and the like but Also packing, I also need to prep for my meeting tomorrow. Daily reading and general end-of-quarter stuff for school.


♥♥  Prayer List ♥♥

Chruch friends, family, and friends who are struggling. Ukraine.



♥♥ Today’s Devotional ♥♥

“But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.

I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other.”‭‭John‬ ‭15:7-17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

For more Happy Homemaker Monday posts Check our Diary of a Stay At Home Mom

Back to Normal- Happy Homemaker Monday

Posted on by Mary
Normal

Welcome back, friends. As some of you know we were “on vacation” last week! Well, let’s just say that vacation wasn’t really…..VACATION!?!

But we are back to our normal schedules this week and I think that for the most part, we have recovered!!! Not much work got done in the sense of what we had originally hoped but it was still good and profitable!!

♥♥ The Weather ♥♥

This coming week resembles more of what spring usually looks like in central NY. We will have temps in the ’40s and 50s with rain and snow. and NOT a whole lots of sun.

♥♥ As I look outside my window ♥♥

Gray and rain- typical March weather here. Nugget is excited though She saw her friend the resident woodchuck…She really hasn’t left her door with the windows all day.

♥♥ Right now I am ♥♥ 

writing this post and texting a friend 

♥♥ Thinking and pondering ♥♥ 

BAHAHA there isn’t enough space here to share that! But to get an inside glimpse into my ponderings you can check out yesterday’s blog post here.

♥♥ Homemaking tips ♥♥ 

 When I plan meals for the week I always make sure there is always a pasta meal and a soup meal. I have numerous reasons for this. Top of the list is it’s economical and fast. The second reason is if I am sick or away Hubby or the kids can make it without too much thought or preparation

♥♥ How I am feeling ♥♥

I am feeling really good. Working through a bunch of stuff and it has been really good. Hard but really good.

♥♥ On the breakfast plate ♥♥

Coffee and egg whites

♥♥ On my reading pile ♥

Hello Fears
John (from the Bible)
The Life-Giving Home
and I will be restarting the book Boundaries this week
A bunch of smaller books

♥♥ On my TV ♥♥

Hubby and I watched the hiding place last night otherwise. Nothing.
Listening to some podcasts though

♥♥ On the menu ♥♥

Monday – Soup and salad
Tuesday – BBQ chicken and Potato Salad
Wednesday – Cheesesteak stuffed Peppers
Thursday -Sandwiches and salad
Friday – Pasta
Saturday – Tacos
Sunday – Meatball Subs

♥♥ From the camera ♥♥

our girl playing soccer

♥♥ Looking around the house ♥♥

The floor needs mopping again
the table needs to be cleaned off
continue packing
at this point, there are just boxes everywhere

♥♥ To do list ♥♥

PACK PACK PACK
get rid of
Downsize
Repeat
oh and keep the house clean and homeschool in the process

♥♥  Prayer List ♥♥

Wisdom strength and courage- that seems to be the ongoing theme for both myself and a good majority of my friends and family.

It seems like a good many of my friends are either just gone through a big life change are currently going through a big life change or are anticipating a big life change

♥♥ Today’s Devotional ♥♥

These verses have been constantly coming up over the last two weeks. I have been learning a lot about God and myself. And these verses have become such reminders …

Galatians 1:10

10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.

Proverbs 12:18 NLT

8 Some people make cutting remarks,
    but the words of the wise bring healing.

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life.

Proverbs 15:14

A wise person is hungry for knowledge,
    while the fool feeds on trash.

2 Timothy 1:7 NLT

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Thanks so much for joining me for Happy Homemaker Monday! What’s on your plate for this week? Let me know in the comments below and Have a Happy Week!

For more Happy Homemaker posts check out Diary of a Stay at Home Mom.

Boundaries and Schedule Changes

Posted on by Mary
Boundaries

Hello Friends! I hope you are having a great week! Today we are going to have a conversation about some changes that are taking place in my life and that we be directly affecting the blog here. I have, over the last couple of weeks, been implementing some boundaries for myself. And even though I am not quite ready to share the not so immediate effects of those boundaries I am ready to share how and why the blog has changed and will continue to do so over the next few months.

Back Story

It’s no secret around here that a little over a year ago I had some major health struggles. Struggles that found me in and out of the hospital 4 times in the month of December in 2020. It found me having a procedure to kill off a tumor that caused damage to internal organs which then resulted in me needing heavy narcotics because when something is dying inside of you it is excruciating and then finally my body (much to the doctors and hospital staff’s surprise ) expelling the tumor on it’s own. And finally waiting the longest week of my life to find out if said tumor was cancer or not. (Praise the Lord it wasn’t).

It was a wild ride BUT a spiral happened that NO one could see. Not even me. See my health issues didn’t end there. There were still major repercussion from Decembers adventures.

Low iron levels related to the amount of blood loss was a huge problem. they were so low they were undetectable. They couldn’t find iron in my system. I ate everything I could get my hands on that was rich in iron (except liver).Have you ever had molasses in your coffee? Yeah don’t! I was desperate BUT my body couldn’t absorb it. I was taking 3 iron pills a day with little to no help. I was living in a constant state of panic attack due to iron levels. It was BAD and to help cope and distract myself I got lost on my phone.

The Reality

As much as I use my phone for helpful useful things I found myself living in a constantly distracted state. When I was stressed I reached for my phone. I chose to get lost in it. Finally in August Hubby advocated for me at the hematologists office for iron infusions. I would sleep all the time. I could barely move without being completely wiped out. The doctor wanted to wait until I had all of my GI tests done but Hubby asked why I couldn’t have them before and boy was I grateful that he did. They said I wouldn’t see a difference right away.They were wrong. It was a two infusion series. The first one I sat though a complete conference day right after. Which is saying a lot because I could barely move at times. Having little to no iron creates a painful state of existence, So between the hurting body, the racing heart and extreme fatigue I wasn’t sure how a conference would work. A few days later I had the second dose and OH BOY I was like a new human being. It just keep getting better.

BUT…..

As I looked back at my prayer journals I began to see a pattern emerging. I was praying every single day that God would help me to not be so distracted. ALL of the time. We had gone through a major life change in the process where hubby left his ministry position he had been at for 12 years. We had no idea where God was leading us next we just knew we were supposed to leave. We picked a church an hour away from home for various reasons.

For nearly 7 months I prayed and prayed and prayed for distractions to leave. And day after day after day I chose to get lost in my phone.

That is until this February when I picked up the book hubby got for me at Christmas called The Life Giving Home written by Sally and Sarah Clarkson. I read Sarah’s chapter on distractions. Which was her phone…ACK! Now this is NOT the first time the topic of “phones” has come up. Phone usage has been in NUMEROUS sermons at our new church. And yet I could dismiss them as “BUT I am a blogger I need to be tied to my phone”. The reality is though my phone usage had very little to do with my blog. It had everything to do with serving as a distraction from my blog and everything else under the sun. It wasn’t until the word DISTRACTION was right in front of my face AND I had COVID that forced me to come to understand the reality of my situation. So that day I sent some Boundaries .

The Boundaries

The very first thing I did was delete Instagram and Facebook from my phone. I still need to use them for my blog. So getting rid of them completely wasn’t an option.

the second thing I did was set a time frame for when I could use social media on my laptop. And that’s from 4-8 pm. It allows me enough time to make posts and then comment back on them if need be. And when the comments are made and I don’t see them right away GUESS WHAT…They are still there the next day…..NO JOKE!

Is it a perfect system NOPE. have I followed it strictly NOPE. BUT life has changed in so many ways…like… I have read double the books I read last month. No it’s not a new distraction.

I have changed immensely…I have a new schedule in place that has been working amazingly.

It Came with an Unforeseen Consequence

We teach our children that there are positive and negative consequences that come with our life choices. You will often hear hubby and I and even our children say Make better life choices.

Well when I chose to set this boundary it became very obvious within just a weeks time that the phone was distracting me from far more than just daily tasks. I hadn’t healed from some major life stuff and all of that in one morning came spilling out. At first I thought it had been a TERRIBLE life choice BUT now I can see how much I have changed in just over a week. THAT is a blog series for a different time.

For now though I have a clarity of mind that I haven’t had in ……ever.

Quite frankly it’s been amazing. I will say though it’s because I have been willing (although reluctant at times ) to do the hard work. I have written nearly 100 pages in my journal..

Letting Go of Mental Chess

I like to play games. All sorts of games (I love WORDLE). I had become a master at mental chess and I didn’t even realize it. Here how mental chess goes “I can’t do x, because if I do X, then person, A Will do Y”.

I had a rather lengthy conversation with our pastor about this, He’s the one who called it mental chess and then he told me. ” You’ll never win. ”

Later this week I looked at my ever growing list of blog post Ideas and there is a set of “green” posts. They are a different color because I felt they were unpublishable so I had determined to journal them…..because if I posted them XYZ might happen. I said out loud as I read them off MENTAL CHESS.

Now does it mean I will post them tomorrow…NO. I won’t. They are going to take some time to write because they are hard perhaps even RAW. There will be a lot more of that around here because I’m letting go of that mental chess I have become so accustomed to playing. I don’t want to waste my mental capabilities on a game I am NOT going to win. Why would I want to use mental headspace for such nonsense I like to win.

Schedule Changes

So as it stands I had already made the change for Sunday afternoons being blogging time. That’s going to stay the same it just works. IF I get to go into church on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and/orFridays with Hubby (until we move ) I intend to use that time for blogging time. But for now I am able to use Sundays to complete blogging work for the week on Sundays.

  • Mondays will be the normal Happy Homemaker Monday posts. Mondays are also going to be blog work. I have Monday afternoons and evenings to myself- Thanks hubby for that blessing for this introverted homeschooling mom with 3 extroverted children.
  • Tuesdays are family nights here so no posts will go live
  • Wednesdays and Fridays are flex days so If I can get more than Mondays and Thursdays blog posts done they will be scheduled on Wednesdays or Fridays
  • Thursdays are our Thankfulness days – this is the Gratitude in the Middle posts.

Mondays and Thursdays are the MUSTS. All else is icing on the cake.

Next week I hope to have a very special treat. I want to introduce you to two women who have been supporting me through all of this stuff and really lifted my hands (a Moses reference) as I blogged through that Choosing Courage 100 day blogging project last fall. It’s just another step in letting go of the mental chess because I was worried about what other people might think when I shared WHO they are and the role they are playing!

These two women have never met each other and when I said I need to have coffee with the two of you they made it happen. No questions asked. This is why these two women are on my prayer team for this ministry and whatever lies ahead.

Thank you so much for being here and reading and living life right along side of me. I know this has been a much longer post than normal and I appreciate you sticking through to the end.

Are you ready to join me on this Journey?

Gratitude in the Middle……of Life

Posted on by Mary
life

LIFE HAPPENS…

sometimes it’s exciting and new and other times life hard. Just Plain. Hard. And then other days it’s mundane. There are dishes to be done. Mom can you find my other boot. The dog did what? And the list goes on and on.

Ok so the dog thing probably lands in the exciting category.

I have no recollection when gratitude became such a HUGE part of my everyday life, but when it did something happened….I changed.

Transformation

I was angry and unhappy. For many reasons, some perhaps we will get into in the near future. Gratitude took my eyes off of me and my own struggles and placed them on the one who had blessed me beyond belief.

Whether it was the exciting,, the mundane or the hard….OR the just down right extraordinary I discovered I found a new sense of joy in the middle of it all. AND the really amazing thing was as I began to make gratitude a daily practice I began to take notice of these little tiny things. It became a game to see just how many I could write down in my little notebook a day.

Have I ever mentioned I am a highly competitive person? Maybe my hubby can share just how ruthless I can bee playing Phase 10….JK don’t ask!

I find joy in the weird little things. AND I have realized that some people don’t know how to handle me. My joy is often misunderstood. And I chuckle. WHY? Because people aren’t use to that kind of joy. We are so programmed to think about the negative.

Perspective

People complain A LOT. I can complain A LOT. Sometimes life is hard and that is all we can see. That is why I started choosing gratitude over the anger. I just couldn’t handle that lifestyle anymore. I put my energy into a different direction. it really is about perspective and focus.

That’s part of the reason I can laugh at myself for setting off an IV pump 9,345 times in a 3 hour span….(pssst it really wasn’t that many times but I am sure the 3 nurses who took turns resetting the thing felt like it was). I am so grateful, so so so grateful that I can go sit in a chair for 3 hours and get antibodies that keep me healthy so I can take care of my family and be a part of church. I am so very grateful both to the nurses and for the nurses. God gave them a special kind of patience!, care and love.

The challenge

So no matter what kind of day you are having, start by choosing 3 things you are grateful for. If you choose 3 things a day to be grateful for you will have 1,095 things that you can count as blessings by the end of the year.

As a side note I am thankful for coffee 365 days out of the year. No one says you can’t choose something to be grateful for more than once!

Life is all sorts of craziness and everyday that God gives us breath is one more reason to be grateful. Don’t believe me wait til next week!

How about you? in whatever season of life you are in right now what are you thankful for?

Birds chirping is top of my list. Along with warmer days, sunshine and farmers!

Don’t quite know where to start Check out Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare.

You can also check out my Joy Dare Challenge from last year where I used her prompts!