As we journey together “let us think of ways to motivate one another in acts of love and good works”(Hebrews 10:24 NLT)

There are times in my life where God asks me to give just a tad more than I think I have!  The last two months God has required me to rely on him far more than usual.  It’s those times of just finishing one project, just in time to jump into another.

And I wonder how am I ever get everything all done on time?

God knows me all too well!  That’s why he has given me the hubby he did.  A hubby who like Me, spends every bit of himself for ministry and family.  And yet my husbands watchful eye and wise mind knows when to jump in and say, “Mary you have done more than enough!”   

That’s why He has placed numerous ladies in my life who aren’t afraid to say, “Mary, you are doing too much, that’s not important. “. Not that I am wasting my time on unimportant things but that I am trying to do too much!

And yet there are times when I need to do all that is laid before me.  I need to make a gazillion phone calls, fill out half a forrest worth of paperwork, cook enough food to feed an army.  Ok so that is all one big exaggeration but when you look at our schedules it can begin to feel like that very fast!

I need to remember to rely on God…not just in the big things but all the little things.  Despite what I sometimes think…God does not want me to go crazy.  It’s me who drives myself there!  

So yeah I’m exhausted, but because my focus is on God and His purpose I’m excited to push forward

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God knows me better than I know myself!  There are somethings that I have hid deep in my heart. Things I don’t verbalize even in those all by myself moments.

For instance:

1. I know some people who have a list of wants for a husband/wife.  These lists can range from silly little things like they must have purple eyes and green hair (come on give me credit….i’m not talking anyone specific and if that happens to be you i seriously had no clue!) to the deep like making sure they have no criminal record (lol again being a vague as possible)  but for me I had a list on the deep side!  Of course I had preference BUT. I never verbalized them….i never prayed for them. And yet God knew.  I love Red hair.  No joke!  I had a foster brother with red hair.  I had multiple friends with red hair. …..i met and married a guy with red hair!

2. Again a list of wants…buying a house….i have always and forever wanted a house with deep window sill to have plants on.  But never really verbalized that.  No even to my red-headed wood-working husband!   But when we bought our home a year ago after we moved in I realized my unspoken want had been met! God knew!

3. Colors.  I’m not holding in the fact that my favorite color is green.   I would tease my red headed wood-working husband who hates light green on cars that if I could choose a car it would be a light metallic green!  To which he would reply….i would never buy a car that color.  Well wouldn’t you know that four and a half years ago we were looking for a car that got great gas milage, was within a certain, price range and could fit our family with room to grow!  I have never had a license and I never will, trust me you don’t want me to either!  And I can say yes I like it or no I don’t but I nearly fell off  my parents couch as hubby described his first choice in a car.  i remember asking ” but the color, you hate it!”  And He responded yes but the price is better than anything else we’ve seen, there’s very low mileage, and we can eventually add a third row of seats.   SOLD!  And I giggle!

These are some little things.  I mean really…hair color, deep window sills and car color.  There is a reason  I don’t put them on a list for everyone to know…it’s because they are shallow!   Would I have still married my husband if he didn’t have red hair…of course!  Would we have still bought our house if  it didn’t have deep window sills…you bet! And would we have bought our car if it wasn’t light metallic green…most certainly!  None of these things are or were deal breakers.  But they are still significant!  WHY?  Well because of this…..

God wants us to realize:

1.  He loves us so much

2. God knows every little thing about us.   

In VBS this week we have been talking about God Sightings.  Things that God is doing in and around us.  God wants us to know He is near and that He cares for us so deeply.  So much so that He takes those little things hidden deep in our hearts, things that no one else knows.  Things we keep under lock and key.

So what hidden things has God made himself known to you through? Things you have kept locked away in the deep recesses of your heart!

Share them with someone!  It’s really cool to hear other’s God Sightings  aswell! 

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I LOVE BEING A PASTOR’S WIFE…..most of the time.  I love working with people!  Am i always good at it?  No not hardly!  Sometimes I make mistakes…sometimes I say stupid things.. But despite all of that I  know God loves me no matter what.   

I didn’t always want to be a pastor’s wife though.  I had other passions.  

Foreign missions was huge.  I answered the call to full time ministry at 16.  At that point I had my sights set on Germany.  3 years of the language in high school and German lineage!  But at 19 i said yes to somewhere else.  And for sox weeks after graduating high school a month prior i ministered within the 10-40 window.  An area of our world closed to evangelism.  No parents, no friends.  I embarked on a journey that would change my entire life.  Saying yes to God will do that!. At the end of that trip, holding back tears, I spoke into a camera sharing my love and wanting to return, but now looking back my sadness was not necessarily about leaving butI think I knew in my heart i would never return. (I’m not saying God can’t make it happen but there are things in life we just have an understanding about things.) 

so I came home,sad. 

Ten days later i was moving my stuff  into the girls dorm of the Bible College I would spend the next four years at.  I changed my concentration twice in the time.  I started in the ESL program (English as a second language).  During that time God closed a couple of doors returning to the country I had such a burden for.  To this day i still think on those precious memories and the very amazing people and I pray for them and their nation!

After yielding to God, i felt kinda lost.  Missions was what I had committed my life to but now , I felt as though God was changing His mind on me.  Now I realize that what he was doing was taking me on a journey to being a passionate person….not just about Missions but about HIM…..and HIS WORK!   

Next came the Youth Ministries concentration, and here is where a true confession comes in.  I did it because of a boy!  I thought I was going to marry him!   He was going to be a youth  pastor.  I was also serving in an inner city kids ministry that I loved.  I saw and heard some terribly heartbreaking and scary things and yet none of that mattered.  I loved those little kids so much!  I felt horrible the day we had to sit down with the head of student development and say it was too risky for students to participate in any longer.  When the relationship ended and that ministry was gone, again I felt as though God was changing His mind.

This time though something had changed in me…I think it was new found wisdom.  I looked at the counseling program, i looked at all the classes I wanted to take, I looked at the missions program again…only one thing made sense….CHURCH MINISTRIES!  It had the most non-required electives.  I could have a broad horizon so God could lead how He wanted rather than playing guessing games on what God’s will was for me.  I knew I was committed to full time ministry , i was open to anything…..anything except being a Pastor’s wife!  

Two counseling electives, two women’s ministries electives, two education electives, a couple Bible electives , small groups elective, youth ministries electives and all the required stuff all bound into one concentration…oh and a guy!   A guy who at the time I met him knew he would be pastor…..i also knew I would marry him, so that’s why I tried to fix him up with my roommate!  Lol makes a ton of sense right? Continue reading “Life in a Fish Bowl: Choosing to Get in The Bowl” →

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