When the Fog Clears

Posted on by Mary
Fog

My eyes popped open at 4 this morning. I made myself stay in bed until my alarm went off at 5. Yesterday I battled a scratchy throat and some congestion so I didn’t want to overdo the not getting rest. But as soon as my alarm went off my feet were on the floor. I got dressed grabbed my journal and my coffee cup and headed to the barn we are turning into a house.

It was a brisk morning but no worries I had my sweatshirt on. I scanned the sky. YAY! There are clouds!! (More on that in a minute!!)

I went into the barn and started the coffee pot.

I gathered some other stuff around the barn for our typical day at church.

I went back to the coffee pot and grabbed my cup and as I turned to grab my creamer from the fridge my eyes caught what had happened out the window…FOG!!!!

WHAAAAAT? When I came into the barn a few minutes ago there was no sign of fog ANYWHERE! And now I couldn’t see the forest behind the barn-house.

I grabbed my coffee and headed to the picnic table but not without some apprehension first.

fog

Taking the Step into the fog

It’s not the first batch of fog we have had at our new home. Matter of fact I shared a pic in yesterday’s blog post of another foggy morning from last week. I enjoy seeing fog. I think it is pretty. However, fog is daunting and a little scary too because you can’t see through it. You don’t know what is there with you.

This morning’s fog was thicker than the other days. Everything felt a lot “closer” than usual and I could see how someone who struggles with claustrophobia might not enjoy this experience. I could have chosen to stay safely in the barn. I didn’t know what was in the fog. I know what could have been….coyotes, fisher cats, Bears Oh my.

However, I was EXPECTING something so I took the risk and stepped over the threshold of our barn-house. And carried my coffee to the picnic table and watched the sky over where the woods should be.

Waiting Expectantly.

Over the next half an hour I took sips of my coffee and waited expectantly looking at the sky. I began to notice something happening. The sky over the tree tops started to lighten and change colors. I kept watching but with the next sip of coffee, I noticed something amazing. The more I stayed focused on the sky, the more the fog was clearing.

All of sudden this thought crossed my mind- Mary this is the perfect explanation of this restlessness you have been dealing with.

The funny thing about fog is that you can walk through the fog, seeing just what’s ahead of you for a few feet. So as I traversed through my restless fog I kept taking steps forward, but couldn’t see past my current place. I chose to write through it, baby steps inching forward in faith. I kept my eyes on God or at least in his direction waiting for some glimmer of the rising sun. I knew He was there, He always has been.

I began an old habit I had put in place during college and as I wrote my way through words and prompts I saw the brightness in the sky. I looked around me and realized the fog was beginning to clear.

What happened next is amazing.

When the fog lifts

It lifted just as quickly as it had come. I finished typing my last few words for the blog post Called Restlessness and Grace, I sat back and took a deep breath before I started the editing process and I was flooded with some understanding. I knew what my next steps were, albeit daunting.

I had to take the steps of faith in the fog before I was ready to say yes.

YES TO…

  • trusting my husband in a new way (nothing bad, just new)
  • changing my perspective/ idea for what my #write 31 days project in October will look like
  • tweaking the last 3 #write31days projects to fit a MUCH bigger writing project
  • Changing a title and a focus
  • Being brave in every way possible.

I told you all the restless fog usually comes before a big breakthrough.

Now about those clouds

We always seem to think that having a cloudless sky made a day beautiful. We also tend to think that a life without clouds and storms is a sign of a really good life. And yes some clouds are gray and can make us feel gloomy and sad.

Can I just tell you though I have gained a whole new appreciation for clouds both literally and figuratively, and here is why. Clouds give the sky character. I have a very distinct childhood memory of laying in the grass f our backyard just watching the clouds float by and talking with my brothers (i think) about the shapes we saw in them.

As we have transitioned into our new home and we have a much bigger view of the sky I have taken more notice of the clouds, especially at certain times of the day. Sunrises and sunsets. Sunrises and sunsets are gorgeous on their own but add in the clouds and wow! Extra colors, extra shadows. The sun just bounces off of them in so many ways.

How about the sunsets right after a storm? Gorgeous. So often we see the clouds in the sky and we forget that they can be transformed from what they appear to be into something so stunning.

The same is true for the clouds and storms in our lives

As I sat pondering all of this, this morning with a coffee cup in hand I saw these little puffy clouds. I could just barely see them as the fog began to lift. But as the fog lited those little puffy white clouds GLOWED PINK in the rising sun…..AND then I looked behind me, the fog had lifted and the clouds behind me weren’t just glowing pink, but were purple too.

fog

Sometimes we get so incredibly focused on the clouds themselves that we forget to see what God has done around us.

I want to challenge us to do 2 things:

  1. Trust God in the middle of the fog. Keep taking baby steps in our walk with Jesus. Understand that he is there with us in the middle of the fog. Fog is going to look different for everyone. For me, it was a restless heart and mind. for others, it might be depression, anxiety, grief, and a host of other situations.
  2. When we see the storm clouds rolling in or overhead keep our eyes peeled for the painting God’s about to paint. He has a plan to take those scary clouds and turn them into something beautiful. We have to be willing for him to do that though. We ALSO have to keep our eyes peeled in order to see it.
fog

So to recap we MUST

TRUST AND MOVE

BE WILLING AND WATCH

Breathing Deep: Happy Homemaker Monday

Posted on by Mary
breathing

Happy Monday Friends! I don’t know about you all but I have found myself this week taking in more time breathing in deeply these summer days. This past week I did something I haven’t done since we moved here to our new place and that is watching the sunrise.

Coffee in hand I have met the sunrise 3 days this past week and honestly, I plan to keep on doing so as long as the weather permits (this week looking a little sketchy

!Last week started out kinda rough but by the middle of the week my fog cleared and some amazing things happened, in my heart, in my mind and I begin to do some forward thinking that I haven’t been able to do in a long time. Things for my blog here and for some things in the future.

Let’s jump into it

♥♥ The Weather ♥♥ 

Well, we had a gorgeous week this last week but this week appears to be very stormy. But I’m breathing in and soaking up all these warm sunny days for sure.   

Monday –  stormy and 81

Tuesday – 79 and partly cloudy

Wednesday – partly cloudy and 83

Thursday – Stormy and 82

Friday – rain and 80

Saturday – partly cloudy and 81

Sunday – partly cloudy and 85

♥♥  As I look outside my window ♥ 

Out the back of the camper, there are new walls for the expanded kitchen, master bedroom, and craft room, and a newly set door!

♥♥  Right now I am ♥♥ 

Typing this blog post with my earbuds in listening to our Family Jams playlist

♥♥  Thinking and pondering ♥♥ 

writing projects. I’m planning for my write 31 days series. I will start writing this week and that fits into a larger writing project. A pretty huge answer to prayer.  

♥♥  How am I feeling ♥♥ 

I’m feeling really well minus some sinus stuff but that is minor.

 ♥♥  On the breakfast plate ♥♥ 

coffee (Of Course) and oatmeal 

♥♥   On the lunch plate ♥♥ 

Sandwiches

♥♥  On the dinner plate ♥♥ 

Leftover pasta

 ♥♥  What I’m wearing  ♥♥ 

Shorts and T-shirt with sneakers

 ♥♥  On my reading pile ♥♥ 

Finishing up 2 Corinthians in the Bible

Hello Fears (Should be finished later this week)

A counseling book (will be finished later today)

I will start Lead Small tomorrow

♥♥  On my TV this week  ♥♥ 

Whatever I can find o Pureflix

♥♥  On the menu  ♥♥ 

Monday – Leftover pasta

Tuesday – hamburgers and chips

Wednesday –  BBQ and tater tots

Thursday – Pizza

Friday –  Hot Dogs

Saturday – Dinner with friends

Sunday – Sandwiches

♥♥  Looking around the house  ♥♥ 

It’s peaceful and ready for a new day. Today will be tough because there won’t be a whole lot of outside time with the storms But we can at least move to the barn to work on stuff there!

♥♥ To-Do List ♥♥ 

I have some homeschooling stuff I need to work on. I’ve taken a break over the last two weeks but I need to jump back into it.

And I have a bunch of writing I need to do along with two more blog posts for this week

♥♥  From the camera  ♥♥ 

Breathing
Saturday morning I was up as the sun rose. The fog rolled in and left within ten minutes. These misty mornings on our hill have easily become my favorite!. I’m breathing in deep these quiet mornings watching the mist roll in.

♥♥  Devotional  ♥♥ 

I have been spending a lot of time with my girl Queen Esther. . I’m back to writing about her and her amazing influence on my life! The fun part is I’m writing about a bunch of other friends and as I have been studying and growing I am reminded of this profound passage.

Hebrews 11:32-38 )MSG)

32-38 I could go on and on, but I’ve run out of time. There are so many more—Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, the prophets. . . . Through acts of faith, they toppled kingdoms, made justice work, took the promises for themselves. They were protected from lions, fires, and sword thrusts, turned disadvantage to advantage, won battles, and routed alien armies. Women received their loved ones back from the dead. There were those who, under torture, refused to give in and go free, preferring something better: resurrection. Others braved abuse and whips, and, yes, chains and dungeons. We have stories of those who were stoned, sawed in two, murdered in cold blood; stories of vagrants wandering the earth in animal skins, homeless, friendless, powerless—the world didn’t deserve them!—making their way as best they could on the cruel edges of the world.

Thanks so much for joining me this week for Happy Homemaker Monday! I pray that it has been an encouragement to you! For more Happy Homemaker Monday Posts you can Check out Diary of a Stay At Home Mom and for more of my Happy Homemaker posts you can go here

What are you breathing in deep this week? What’s your favorite thing about summer that you like to savor?

Restlessness and Grace

Posted on by Mary
Grace

Restless if I Had to pick a word to describe me lately RESTLESS would definitely be it. Grace is the answer I found in an unlikely way. Let me explain: I can’t settle my brain or heart on a task or even writing for very long before I get distracted by pretty much anything. I can’t settle myself to complete a project or a chore, my devotions or read. It took me a couple of weeks to recognize this pattern that was becoming more evident. Then last week I had this idea to paint. nNothing too involved.

I whipped off two pieces pretty quickly but as I did so my brain thought, “Man I wish I could do X, Y, and Z that focused”. I got to thinking about some of my favorite artists that I follow on YouTube and what they say about art block…DRAW, every day. And I began to ponder that. I sat down with my journal and stared at the blank pages and just like my blog I had no idea what I was going to write about.

Don’t get me wrong I have nearly 35 blog posts on the list to be written. BUT I could write 2-3 sentences and my brain checked out saying enough is enough. and I would move on to something else. Now I will preface this by saying that there are probably 15 good reasons why this is happening right now. This isn’t a normal place for me to live in. I can count on one hand the times this has happened. GENERALLY, it is because God is doing something in my heart. I have to struggle through the process. I can tell you each time God has taken something and moved me to the next step of my faith and I know that I am on the cusp of that.

A CHOICE

So what did I do? Well, first I searched a couple of websites for some one-word writing prompts. The problem was they were all based on a theme. I wanted to have more creative options so I had this spark of genius. Turn to my friends and family to give me words. And they didn’t disappoint! I am still hoping to get a few more. (Feel free to drop some in the comments below.)

Next, I went back to college…no not like that. I had a lot of focus issues in college (yep just like right now) and one of the things I did was write in a notebook. It was a lot of creative writing pieces. Things that only one set of eyes besides my own have read (yep my hubby).

When I was finished I would be able to focus on school work. and it worked great then however I don’t have the time I did in college I’m a wife and mom and I have lots of responsibilities so I took a cue from the Five Minute Friday prompts and gave myself a time limit. Ten minutes. I need to journal for ten minutes BUT if I am on a roll I will go past the ten minutes and go until my words are all spilled out on the pages. The first day was 20 minutes!!!!

Today was 10.

The goal wasn’t a blog post for every word but as I wrote that first journal entry I knew it was a blog post in the making. The word…..

GRACE

If you have been around here for any length of time you know that Grace is an ongoing topic. My heart reacted. UGH! I write about grace ALL THE TIME….And a verse entered my brain immediately. My frustration had nothing to do with the person who suggested it, it was an indicator of my heart condition.

“My grace is sufficient for YOU” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

If you know me you know I struggle with perfectionism. I had no idea that I did until someone pointed out in March. (OUCH). I tell women all the time that no one is perfect and that they should give themselves grace and blah blah blah. I believe that but rarely did I apply it to myself.

The problem is my grace is flawed, just like me. So when that verse entered into my head I knew it was God speaking to my restless heart because at the root of my restless heart is that nasty little word, PERFECTION. My to-do list (imposed by me ) is a million miles long and I cannot choose where to start and when I do I think of something else that “more important”. (ACCORDING TO WHO?)

That verse hits the nail on the head- God’s Grace is Suffcient for ME. It is literally all the grace I need. I don’t have to accomplish my to-do list. It will be there tomorrow (obviously there are time sensitive things). I don’t have to get them all done nor do I have to work from sun up til bed time and it is ok for me to just relax.

I’m responsible for my time. I can get myself so stressed out by all that needs to be accomplished that I just check out and lose sight of what is most important.

Does this mean my restless heart is fixed?

Nope not a chance. I have written two days in a row. My focus has been better. This isn’t a quick fix, this is just habit building. Having fun and relaxing instead of feeling that every post or writing experience has to be “on”.

God’s grace isn’t just sufficient for me, it’s sufficient for you too. God’s grace meets us where we are. Whether it’s a restless heart, a difficult decision or trauma OR in the middle of our sin. God’s grace is sufficient to cover it all and so much more. SO So much more.

So I choose obedience and to rest in God’s Grace and when restless heart and mind kick in I will do my very best to give it to him and Choose his grace!

Have you ever suffered from restless heart/mind? If so what did you do about it? Was God trying to get your attention or do work in your heart? Let me know in comments below!

Thanks for joining me today, I am so glad you are here! If you are new introduce yourslf in the comments below!

Blessings

Mary

Progress: Happy Homemaker Monday 7/18/2022

Posted on by Mary
Summer

Hello My happy friends! What a week it has been! It’s been a week of progress in some areas and yet in others, it has been a real struggle. I set out to write so many times this week and words just aren’t coming. It’s been a struggle I’m not sure why it just is. This week though I’ve changed some things up and I am going to revisit some old habits that I have let go of in our current season.

♥♥ The Weather ♥♥

SUMMER is showing up this week! That’s progress! It’s been stuck in late May temps here for like the last 2 months so I’m excited to see summer temps come!

Monday –  Scattered thunderstorms and 77

Tuesday – partly cloudy and 86
Wednesday – partly cloudy and 90

Thursday – thunderstorms and 84

Friday – partly cloudy ad 84

Saturday – thunderstorms and 85

Sunday – thunderstorms and 84temps

These are by no means “normal” NY July weather, but at least it’s not 50 and rainy!

♥♥  As I look outside my window ♥ ♥  

When I look outside the back of the camper I see freshly placed plywood…More progress

♥♥  Right now I am ♥♥

sucking down major amounts of water, applying oils generously and wishing I had brought tylenol in hopes to chase away the starts of what feels like a dandy headache coming on.

♥♥  Thinking and pondering ♥♥

lots of things. Its been hard to really settle my mind over the last few weeks and focus. Probably why its been so hard to focus and write- or at least part of it. Do you suffer from restless heart? I do but not very often. Teasing out the cause can take a while though. This isn’t a bad thing I t usually is a precursor of some form of growth in my life. I just need to process it (More progress).

♥♥  How am I feeling ♥♥

Pretty good. Last week was IVIG. No real side effects though I need have some weird tummy troubles but it wasn’t related….IVIG tummy troubles are VERY distincrt.

♥♥  On the breakfast plate ♥♥

Coffee and maybe some toast later


♥♥  What I’m wearing  ♥♥

black capris black and white striped shirt and sandles

♥♥  On my reading pile ♥♥

My Bible, a couple of counseling books, revisiting the book boundaries later this month
Hello Fears, and The Life-Giving Home

♥♥  On my TV this week  ♥♥

Nothing

♥♥  On the menu  ♥♥ 

Monday – Loaded baked potatoes
Tuesday – Burgers and potato salad
Wednesday – pasta
Thursday – Soup
Friday – Tacos
Saturday – BBQ tater tot casserole

♥♥  Looking around the house  ♥♥

Still working on campeer organizaion but I have made big progress in that this week as well.

I also REALLY need to fold laundry!!!

♥♥ To-Do List ♥♥

  • Laundry
  • reading
  • I have a few dishes to catch up on
  • homeschool planning for the next school year

♥♥  From the camera  ♥♥

progress

Progress!!

♥♥  Devotional  ♥♥

I have been working with 1 Corinthians 13 over the last few months and have some upcoming posts I’m working on centering around 1 Corinthians 13 and maybe some unconventional thoughts abuout that passage.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away

So what are you progressing in this week? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for joining me this week for Happy Homemaker Monday. You can check out more posts like this one by visiting Diary of a Stay at Home Mom

And you can check out more of my Happy Homemaker Monday posts here

Happy Summer! Happy Homemaker Monday

Posted on by Mary

Summer



♥♥ The Weather ♥♥

IIt has been gorgeous, though not quite hot enough for my liking. I enjoy wARMTH and since we live in a place where it is fairly cold most of the year I always hope we get toasty temps for summer.

Monday –  Sunny and 80

Tuesday – Thunderstorms and 78
Wednesday – partly cloudy and 78

Thursday – partyly cloudy and 79

Friday – thunderstorms and 79

Saturday – partly cloudy and 76

Sunday – Sunny and 77

These are by no means “normal” NY July weather, but at least it’s not 50 and rainy!

♥♥  As I look outside my window ♥ ♥  

Currently living in our camper we have pretty tiny windows and I am spending a lot of time outside at our picnic table. I am still restricted with how much I can be on my foot. Our new place is gorgeous and when it isn’t raining (it hasn’t done that very much) then I am enjoying the outdoors.
we are surrounded on three sides by pastures and the tall grasses that will soon be turned into hay bales wave gently in the almost constant breezes.

We have a plethora of songbirds that wake us up in the morning and tree frogs that serenade us at night.

♥♥  Right now I am ♥♥

Sitting outside enjoying the last few hours of sunlight (yes I’m writing on Sunday). I am listening to the breeze rustling the trees and the mourning doves cooing to each other. Hubby is making dinner so he and our two youngest can have a boy’s night. I can hear them playing Lego Batman on the new-to-them game system.

♥♥  Thinking and pondering ♥♥

Looking forward to tomorrow connecting with new church friends and a 4th of July BBQ. Thankful that we finally finished school. and that summer can really begin. Homeschooling while living in the camper and commuting between two homes has not been easy but it has been fun watching our new home transform.

♥♥  How am I feeling ♥♥

Feeling pretty good as long as I am not on my foot excessively. It has been hurt for over two months now and we are still waiting for an MRI to be approved. (It’s been denied twice). The doctor believes it was broken and not picked up by the original x-ray or I have since stress fractured it. Either way, the pain is growing old and I want to help with the process of moving and building more than I am.

♥♥  On the breakfast plate ♥♥

Sundays there’s not really time for breakfast. I will occasionally grab a banana and have coffee once I get to church


♥♥  What I’m wearing  ♥♥

Comfy pants and a purple and gray baseball tee and sneakers

♥♥  On my reading pile ♥♥

My Bible, a couple of counseling books, revisiting the book boundaries later this month
Hello Fears, and The Life-Giving Home

♥♥  On my TV this week  ♥♥

Whatever looks good on Pureflix this week

♥♥  On the menu  ♥♥ 

Monday – Chicken BB picnic
Tuesday – Soup
Wednesday – Make your own salad
Thursday – Pasta and Sauce
Friday – Schools over dinner and desert
Saturday – Picnic with some other friends

♥♥  Looking around the house  ♥♥

The Barn has been demo-ed on the inside. Our 12-year-old son and been so helpful. He is a go-getter and we have to make sure he isn’t up at the crack of dawn helping. The next step is placing a new wall

♥♥ To-Do List ♥♥

I have a bunch of cards to write and mail. I did a bunch already today. I have to mail 2 CAT tests and a school report. I have a laundry basket full of laundry to wash and two to fold. Prep this week for the person I mentor, dishes as always and I have to migrate stuff from the first 6-month planner to the next 6 months. And when we got back to the blue house later this week I have to pack pack pack and do IVIG on Friday

♥♥  From the camera  ♥♥

We have some absolutely amazing sunsets

♥♥  Devotional  ♥♥

I’ve been studying Romans 12 as I work with the Young Woman I am mentoring and we are studying it together

A Living Sacrifice to God

12 And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.[b] 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

3 Because of the privilege and authority[c] God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.[d] 4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.7 If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,[e] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[f] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
    I will pay them back,”[g]
    says the Lord.

20 Instead, 

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
    If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
    burning coals of shame on their heads.”[h]

21 Don’t let evil conquer you but conquer evil by doing good.

Thanks for joining me this week for Happy Homemaker Monday. You can check out more posts like this one by visiting Diary of a Stay at Home Mom

And you can check out more of my Happy Homemaker Monday posts here