The Nagging Wife/ Woman: Influential Woman #6


The Dripping Faucet- Nag Nag Nag

This is our first Negative woman of influence: the Nagging wife/ Woman. I’m going to use them interchangeably. This isn’t just a wife problem. Again as a reminder when I say “Woman” in these scenarios I am not talking about a specific woman but a conglomeration of women. The dripping faucet woman is talked about numerous times in Proverbs.

In Proverbs we are told it is better to dwell in the desert alone than with a quarrelsome/ nagging wife (21:19), to dwell in an attic alone than with a nagging wife (25:24, 21:9) and that a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as a constantly dripping faucet (27:15, 19:13).

Well, that paints a picture, doesn’t it? Who wants THAT kind of influence in their lives? Better yet, who wants to be THAT kind of influence in someone else’s life?

I know I don’t but yet we all have those people who can just drip, drip, drip. They like things done within their timetable, how they want it done and the list goes on and on. If you don’t do it to their liking they will continue drip, drip, dripping until you do.

“What if I’m the dripping faucet?”

I’m sure we can all admit that we have all fit into this description at some point because we are all selfish humans at our core. However, it doesn’t mean we should be defined by it!

Ask yourself questions:

  • Am I always complaining about something?
  • Am I always unhappy with my circumstances?
  • Do I expect others to make me happy?
  • Do I live life with gratitude?

Now I know a lot of people who would say YEAH Mary I am very grateful, I never complain…

I smile and nod but I have also heard them say ” I’m blessed but here is how my life is crappy.”

I’ve heard women say ” Thank You for doing that I greatly appreciate it BUT I would really like it if…..”

Life is hard and I get that. I have had a challenging life. Sometimes we are tempted to wallow in that difficulty and our unhappiness and it is so easy to get caught in the muck and mire of our displeasure with our current circumstances. Sometimes Life is downright GROSS!

Whether it’s our husbands, kids, friends, Bible study group, or just acquaintances we can literally push people to the desert, attic, or the corner of a roof! Putting all of our focus on our frustrations, irritations, and troubles…..hurts our relationships or potential relationships.

So what can we do about it?

#1 FLIP THE FOCUS! So many times we are all focused on ourselves and we miss what is going on in our friends and family’s lives! Ask ourselves “when was the last time I really asked my—– how they were doing and really listened? Do I cut people off because my—– is more important?

#2 Practice Gratitude! In the month of November, we are going to take 4 weeks to focus on Prayer. And weeks 3 will be all about gratitude. I know there have been times when I have been praying and thanking God for something and I catch myself saying “thank you Lord for the……But can you…..”

People, I am here to tell you that is NOT real gratitude. To God, spouses, and friends…..ANYONE!

#3 Change expectations- Realize that only true happiness and Satisfaction come from Jesus and no matter how much we want other people to make us feel complete, happy, and love they can’t. It’s impossible and what you are really expecting them to be is God! They are human. They can’t handle that kind of pressure and will crack under it. Our people love us, they just don’t have God-sized shoulders for that kind of pressure.

Just a note:

when we let them know that they have fallen short it pushes them deeper into the attic, farther to the corner of the roof, and deeper into the desert because they know 2 things:

#1 They can’t meet your expectations.

#2. They know we don’t care about them. (if we did we wouldn’t have those unrealistic expectations, be self-focused, and be ungrateful)

We have the power of changing our negative influence if we fit this nagging woman profile. Will it be easy? Not a chance, because Satan wants us to stay self-focused. We need to ask ourselves “what Kind of influence do we want to have? ” Do we want to drive the people we love to the roof, attic, or desert? OR, do we want to speak life-giving words and influence their lives for God?

SIDE NOTE: Does this mean we should live a fake life where we pretend everything is fantastic? NOPE. Teres nothing wrong with sharing our struggles and being real with where we are. It is when we begin to dominate that it becomes a problem

It’s your turn

How has the nagging woman influenced your life?

Do you struggle with nagging?

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