I once knew a man named Andy. We worked together. He was the huge, scary type. You know the type…ex-military man who did crazy stuff, and though we worked in a Christian setting Andy didn’t know Jesus. Andy was, like me, a people watcher. One day Andy and I had a discussion it went something like this
ANDY- Why are you so different than everybody else here? As soon as someone finds out I’m not a believer they try to save me. But then I see how they treat other people. I see how they act and what they talk about. I hear them complain and act as though they are better than everyone else, but you, you’re different. You don’t try to change me. You treat others with respect…..( at this point my eyes kinda glazed over).
When he was finished, I mustered a thank you. I expressed that sometimes I fail. I didn’t have it all together and then I said that my words were not what I wanted to point to Jesus, but my life, my actions. My reLationship with Jesus was just beginning to blossom in such a way that I never had expected. The above conversation happened during the summer.
I had a lot of fun working that job during the summer but then came September……a whole new animal! I found myself working nearly 12 hour days, 5 days a week. I would start at 5 and get 10 minutes to eat breakfast at 8 and then work non-stop until 2:30 most days when I would get lunch….and then would clean up my stations and be done between 3;30 and 4. But because I could not drive I was stuck until sometimes 10 or 11 at night.
I struggled….A LOT! A few weeks in I got incredibly sick….they gave me one day off but then I had to be back in, but because the nature of that job I had to be put into a different facet until I was better. It wasn’t long after that I found out I was doing the jobs it took 3 people to do the year prior. During this time we believe I suffered a miscarriage! But because of insurance issues could not get an appointment. I was beginning to struggle mentally, physically, and emotionally. Then started the criticism by one of my fellow employees. She cricized everything I did…not fast enough, not good enough. “You need to do it this way” and at one point reemed me out in front of a HUGE. Group of people. I had bright spots! Like John and Andy who witnessed these things….john would sing, Sweet Mary sunshine, when he saw me, and one day the two guys standing cracking eggs at an amazing pace, said ” it’s time to welcome you to the family, hold out your hands”. I naively held out my hands in which they promptly squished two raw eggs.
They would utter words of encouragement in passing.
But then one day hubby didn’t have to work so he picked me up early. It was mid -October and I remember the setting sun, and sitting in the car, just sobbing. I was at the end of my rope. I poured out my heart in the midst of deep sobs. Finally as my bestest friend held me. He told me, ” as of October 31, you will be a stay -at -home wife. I never wanted you to go out to work anyway! Give your two week notice tomorrow!” I. Was. Floored.
The next two weeks Flew by. I had soooooo many friends I would miss! These men and women challenged me deeply. Including Old Chocolate Lips ( just writing that makes me smile). So the last day came……I hugged and said goodbye to everyone……I fought in my heart to not even acknowledge the one who had caused so much strife…..I didn’t want to, after all I wasn’t going to miss her…at all! But my feet moved in what felt like slow motion across the room. And in that same feeling I uttered “goodbye—-” and we hugged. She left and within a splint second I felt this strong grip on my arm asI Was whirled around to find, big scary Andy with tears in his eyes. “That,” he said “was the greatest act of Christian love I have ever seen”. And at that it was over! I was floored.
At this point I didn’t understand the ramifications.
It wasn’t until a year and a half later I was expecting our first baby when a friend from that job called. She told me she had a gift for us from Andy to drop off. I had no idea what it was. He had gone to the store and picked it all out, and she was going to pick it up for him and drop it off. Well the day came she dropped it off. What was it…a CRIB…..AND THE MATTERESS, AND CRIB SHEETS. It was beautiful. And for 6 years that crib served as an everyday reminder to first pray for Andy and his relationship with Jesus and secondly the cost of my actions and how I treat people.
Now I say all of this not to build me up…..remember I didn’t want to. I fought it! And I am guilty as is everyone else of this everyday hypocrisy. It’s all around us. My most recent encounter was this weekend I sat at a table with a mom who went on and on about why she chose to not do something involving her kids…she vented about how people judged her because she opted out of this. And in the very next breath she ranted about those who did choose this option for their kids thus judging them…”how could they possibly do this to them”
I have been told that listening to specifics types of Christian music because it wasn’t God honoring all while the person had on music that gloried getting drunk and cheating on ones spouse.
I have been taught that you should be in church every time the door is open…but only if you are not too tired, too late, don’t feel like it…and the list goes on and on and on.
And a few months ago I wrote a blog post about pet peeves and how we don’t have the right to air them as we please and not two weeks ago in expressing frustration those two ugly little words came spilling out my mouth and of course hubby was there to remind me of what I had written! Ugh don’t you hate that! I tried to defend myself but it was useless he was right.
How many times as parents do we say. “You shouldn’t watch that because…….” fill in any number of not so good things and then as soon as the kids are in bed we pop in something that is worse.
Or we take a stand on something that God’s word talks about…say cheating on your spouse, and then our post on Facebook goes something like this “can’t wait for the season premiere of……..” Insert whichever show fits your fancy that has sexual immorality laced throughout it.
This is the very type of everyday hypocrisy Andy was talking about. It was THOSE very things that kept him from wanting what others claimed they had….and insisted he needed. The thing is he already had all those things.
I was told going into the job “you need to watch out for Andy. He will chew you up and spit you out. That’s what happens to all the newbies”.
You know that the little people in our homes are exactly the same way…..I love them for it too. It keeps my swelled head mostly deflated ” Well mom you say that”. Said one child after being reprimmanded for saying “oh poop” Point taken!
