Yesterday marked the first day of October, but it also stands as our anniversary month of watching our son struggle like never before. It began a year of sadness, loneliness and fear. It was a year of rejection, battles fought and won. A year of bringing a husband and wife closer than ever before. And a year of really knowing who our real friends are!
It was a year of this Weary mom being set free and has ended with her being amazed and truly Being OK With Where she’s at! It has been a year of struggle and yet many blessings.
We have watched our son change from an agitated, frustrated, little boy into a little boy who is excelling in life, with very few meltdowns. (ahem….i had to take a break to deal with one) He is learning at a fast rate, and enjoys (for the most part) what he’s doing. It is so very hard to watch your child go backwards in stead of moving forward. But God is sovereign.
How has our family changed?
Well for starters we live in a varitable fortress from the inside. I am a helicopter parent out of necessity! I hate being a helicopter parent, but I have learned how to know where he is and what he’s doing without affecting his independence! Our home is entirely surrounded by a six foot high fence and there are alarms on most of our doors and windows. Dead bolts face the wrong direction, and bolts and chains adorn our door tops!
We are increasingly aware of what is in our food. Where as i once didn’t really pay attention to this, i do now. Red 40 is an absolute no no, along with cinnamon…yeah that has made baking fun, but rest assured, i have found a way!
We are very limited as to where we can go and what we can do. Large groups with our son, can be….shall we say….intense! Hubby goes to many meetings, church events, and get-togethers by himself. It’s fristrating sometimes, but I would much rather stay home instead of forcing him into a situation that will most definely set him up for failure!
I had to relinquish every single ideal, in parenting, ministry, family, marriage…..every single area had to be re-evaluated and changed. Out of everything other than giving my family completely over to God and trusting him with everything related to them was the hardest thing ever asked of me. All of it felt a though I were Abraham when God asked him to offer up Isaac as a burnt offering! It was one of those moments that i will always remember my faith in God grew stronger than ever before!
On a whole we need to be willing to change our own plans, wants and desires at the drop of a hat! We don’t let him dictate our family lives but in the words of my friend Noelle, “You will become a student of——. You will be able to read his cuesand know what and when he can and can’t handle.”
She was so right, but there are times when we think he is going to have an absolutely terrible day, and it turns out that it was his best day yet!
We knew at the beginning that this must have a purpose, but we had no idea what. God knew all along. As of the end of this month, hubby and I will do our first workshop for ministry leaders, on how to reach families, and minister to kids with developemental disabilities. As we embark on this sometimes scary journey, we have seen AND heard some pretty astonishing (in a bad way) things about and from the church and developmental disabilities. Our goal is to facilitate an understanding of how to help these families!
Thank you for your prayers over the last year! We have felt them. We have seen the results of them!
