Let me ask you a question…Are you a Negative Nancy? (I’m NOT saying all Nancys are negative. I have some wonderful “Nancys ” who have impacted my life so positively!)
You know the type of person I am talking about- the person who can always find a reason to be negative or down on something. Now there are two types of Negative Nancys. The first type is down on everyone else and the second type has lost all hope- the have just given up.- they are down on themselves or their circumstances.
Negative Nancy #1
I sat in a room full of women and we were brainstorming community outreach ideas. I sat and looked around the room at these hopeful happy women who chatted noisily over lunch- and then the meeting started.
I watched women enthusiastically share ideas that they had come prepared with to show love to our community and I also sat there and watched one woman shoot each idea down. I watched the air get sucked out of the room. It was like a gutt punch to each woman and before long I had silence. The faces on all the women had changed and the general attitude was how much longer til we can leave.
As I sat there watching all this take place the woman finally took a deep breath and then shared what she “wanted”. She wanted a big impactful ministry. She wanted recognition. (Her words not mine). I am all about big and impactful but there was a whole lot of I and me in what I was hearing.
What got in the way? Pride. And in the process she negatively influenced every person in that room. You could see the hurt in the eyes of every person she shot down and you could see the fear of the others who would no longer be willing to share because they didn’t want to be shot down.
What Should have happened?
For the most part as we chatted all the women in that room encouraged one another their respective ideas. Being an encouragement and building each other up is a sign that joy is in the hearts of believers. Encouragement is what we are called to do. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Romans 14:19, Ephesians 4:2)
Choosing to shoot down every idea before we could tease it out was not beneficial and harmed other people …You know what, t as much as I have thought about this situation I cannot remember for the life of me what we decided to do that day. All I remember was the sick feeling that I left with.
What should have happened was true team building- encouragement, iron sharpening iron. We should have remembered our common purpose. We should have kept that at the forefront as we sought to reach out into our community.
A song that captures the attitude
A number of years ago I heard this song as I was preparing for a big event. And it changed my outlook and it set my focus on a very specific purpose. TobyMac’s song “Steal My Show” became my anthem. It’s not about me- it’s about making God famous. Sometimes I fail though. Sometimes I lose sight of that and do you know what song comes rushing back to reset my perspective- You got it! This one.
Another cold night
Another late flight
It’s almost show time and Diverse city’s waiting on me
We’ve got a packed house
The crowd is calling out
They want the beat to drop but what we really need is youIf you wanna steal my show
I’ll sit back and watch you go
If you got something to say
Go on and take it away
Need you to steal my show
Can’t wait to watch you go oh oh oh
So take it awaySo now the crowd is hyped
That you showed up tonight
Anticipating, craving something more than smoke and lights
So I’ll step out the way
I’ll give you set a stage
Alright, spotlight, give ’em what they came forIf you wanna steal my show
I’ll sit back and watch you go
If you got something to say
Go on and take it away
Need you to steal my show
Can’t wait to watch you go oh oh oh
So take it awayWhen you arrive
We come to life
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time
You’re coming through
All eyes on you
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time
Beating in the same timeNo matter who we are
No matter what we do
Every day we can choose
To say..If you wanna steal my show
I’ll sit back and watch you go
If you got something to say
Go on and take it away
Need you to steal my show
Can’t wait to watch you go oh oh oh
So take it awayMy life!
My pride!
My heart!
It’s all yours now
Take it awayMy fame!
My feet!
My family, my career
Take it away
Take it away
It’s all yours now
So take it away
Take it away
It’s you I wanna live for
Now This video is going to show up again next month. I have a completely different post based on these lyrics and video talking about ministry in general. But when we adopt this attitude NO MATTER WHAT we are doing – the impact is HUGE! In a very positive way!
Negative Nancy #2
This type of Negative Nancy could also be called Eeeyore. It is the “woe is me life is terrible I might as well go eat worms” Group. Life is hard and I will stand here and confirm that some people’s lives are just harder than others for whatever reason. That’s not for me to judge. I’m not God and I don’t know or understand what goes into all of this. I can tell you though that there are GOBS of examples of people throughout scripture that faced horrible life circumstances.
I could list them all out but that would take another 100 days and a completely different series…maybe another year! Maybe Next years #31day2022!!! (I know that is not a thing yet!)
But there is a huge difference between the examples in the Bible and these types of Negative Nancys. These negative Nancys wallow in the pain of their circumstances letting it become the definition of who they are.
The examples in the Bible chose the Even if…..I still will mentality. They choose joy over the horribleness of what they are going through. They choose to take their eyes off of themselves and place them on Jesus. He’s their ONLY reason for Hope.
A Few Examples
ALL of the prophets and judges in the Old Testament. They had to deliver news of consequences that the Israelites would be facing. They were not a cared for group. Sometimes they were threatened and sometimes hunted down and killed. (Elijah at the hands of Ahab and Jezebel 1 Kings 19:14)
The Woman with the Issue of blood- who suffered for 12 years. According to Levitical law she was unclean and couldn’t have any social interaction with anyone..TWELVE YEARS- (how’s that for perspective according to the last 18 months?).
Then There’s Paul and perhaps my favorites- talk about a radically changed man. Once a persecutor of Christ followers now living and serving Jesus with all he has!
Here’s a run down of Pauls life after conversion to Christianity.
23 Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. 24 Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26 I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not.[a] 27 I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.
28 Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches. 29 Who is weak without my feeling that weakness? Who is led astray, and I do not burn with anger? (2 Corinthians 11:23-29 NLT)
I don’t know about you but despite all the struggles I have faced in my life mime doesn’t compare to all that Paul had faced in roughly 32 years of serving Jesus. The above account doesn’t mention his blindness at conversion which many scholars believe could be his “thorn in the flesh” he struggled with which is mentioned a few times throughout scripture and a snake bite. And yet DESPITE all of that Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Be thankful in ALL circumstances for this is God’s will for youth belong to Christ Jesus.” (NLT)
And this sentiment is reiterated over and over again throughout Paul’s writings. If ever there was a man who could be negative and lose hope in his circumstances it was Paul. He would eventually be persecuted to the point of death- and still he counted it all joy.
AND THEN THERE IS JESUS. The Messiah. The one hoped for and prayed for. He came to earth and was rejected…..rejected so much that he was crucified. He knew how he was going to die. Rejected by his closest friends. In his final moments his father in heaven turned his back on him and yet he prayed for us- not condemned those who stood and yelled crucify him…he prayed “Father forgive them – because they don’t know what they are doing.”
A Song that Captures the attitude
A song that really challenges us to really see that this negative way of thinking isn’t helpful. Instead we have the greatest thing to be thankful for…GRACE.
And the perfect song to illustrate this is GRACE GOT YOU by MercyMe
Have you ever met those who
Keep hummin’ when the song’s through?
It’s like they’re living life to a whole different tune
And have you ever met those that
Keep hoping when it’s hopeless?
It’s like they figured out what the rest haven’t yetThe second you realize what you have inside
It’s only just a matter of time…’Til you sing, so the back row hears you
Glide ’cause walkin’ just won’t do
Dance, you don’t have to know how to
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Laugh, ’til your whole side’s hurtin’
Smile like you just got away with somethin’, why?
‘Cause you just got away with somethin’
Ever since, ever since Grace got youSo when you’re standin’ in the rain again
You might as well be dancin’, why? ‘Cause there ain’t no storm that can change how this ends
So next time when you feel blue
Don’t let that smile leave you, why?
‘Cause you have every reason just toSing, so the back row hears you
Glide, ’cause walkin’ just won’t do
Dance, you don’t have to know how to
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Laugh, ’til your whole side’s hurtin’
Smile like you just got away with somethin’, why?
‘Cause you just got away with somethin’
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Grace got youGot away with somethin’, bubblin’ inside of you
Spillin’ over ’cause your life is full, how incredible
Undeniable, monumental like the Eiffel
Uncontrollable, let the joy flow through – haha
Giddy, over pretty, pretty please
Let me see your hands in the air with you out your seats
Warm it up, let go, shout it out, celebrate
When you can’t articulate just say, “Amazing grace”The second you realize what you have inside
It’s only just a matter of (only just a matter of)
It’s only just a matter of time (just a matter of time)’Til you sing, so the back row hears you
Glide ’cause walkin’ just won’t do
Dance, you don’t have to know how to
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Laugh, ’til your whole side’s hurtin’
Smile like you just got away with somethin’, why?
‘Cause you just got away with somethin’
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Ever since, ever since Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Grace got you
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah
Grace got you
When we choose negativity over Joy…..
We are thwarting God’s plan for our lives. He wants us to be grateful to him in all circumstances. And as much as that is difficult there are still things to be grateful for. Even though people aren’t doing things they way we would like them to be done (preferences) we can still be encouraging. We can choose to build up and not tear down. We can choose to cheer on others. And if we don’t make those choices that we have a powerfully negative influence.
Now it’s your turn
Our lack of Joy and focus of the negative can be one of the very first negative influences we can have on people. We need to ask and rely on God to change this in our lives. And the very first Step we can make is choosing a life of gratitude and encouragement. Choosing to thank God for the smallest of blessings in our lives radically changes us because it takes our minds ff f ourselves and puts our attention where it rightly belongs.
We all struggle with this and please know that you aren’t alone. Choosing to see that helps us to be grateful. Knowing that God has provided examples of people who have gone before us who have struggled in great ways and still chosen hope and joy in the middle of it all should serve as a great encouragement to us. (Have you ever read Corrie ten Boom’s Story?). It’s doesn’t mean that life get’s easier or that all the sorrows of this life will disappear. It’s how we handle those sorrows and who we give the glory in the middle.
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey.
Check. out These links
Write 31 Days 2018 Influence Posts
Choosing Courage 100 Day Writing Project
Write 31 Days 2021 Link up List. (Scroll to the bottom)
