Ahhhh, I love that feeling of a fresh start. It is EXACTLY what this weary soul needed. Though like never before this next year seems so uncertain…..but I am embracing that! There are some really exciting things headed our way this year as well. I have a very new perspective on life one that only really comes through tough stuff!
A couple of the great things I’m looking forward to in 2015:
1) once again I will blog through Hope For The Weary Mom. BUT it’s expanded….by quite a bit! I will be serving on the launch team as well this time around…SUPER EXCITED! My copy should arrive soonish!
2). Summer…I know you’re thinking “REALLY MARY?” The truth of the matter is that I NEED MORE SUN, MORE WARMTH AND MY KIDDOS OUT OF SCHOOL!
3) a week away…..writing in our camper COMPLETELY ALONE! I haven’t been that alone for nearly….ok ever! There will still be lots of people around but…not my kids or my hubby. Weird!
4) the Raising Generations Today Conference in October. I am serving in a couple of areas on the leadership team…and I am VERY excited about this conference and all it stands for!
And there are a bazillion other little things that make me excited for the coming year.
And no matter what comes sailing our way, I will rely on God to help us embrace it!
So what’s heading your way in 2015?
Are you excited? Scared? Embracing it?
This morning as I sat and did my devotions I was confronted with a verse that chiseled pieces from my heart. It’s not something I struggle with consistently. It stems from low points, those valley moments. Sometimes valley moments leave me wanting to hide in a storyline…I Love a compelling story! It’s the girl in me. It kind of tykes me outside of my circumstances and allows me to enter a land that has happy endings.
It’s been a rough couple of weeks with our 6 year old. I can’t fix the issues he struggles with. I just can’t . It’s not like a splinter. You remove the foreign body, put an antibiotic ointment and a bandaid on it and in a few hours it is forgotten….for a healthy 6 year old anyway. And this week has been even worse because they have had no school, no school = no rigid routine. No rigid routine= mass chaos inside this little boys head! I’m still relatively new to this so it was a great insight into the possibilities for summer!
But all of that said, sometimes we need to step outside of our reality. That’s why people like TV, MUSIC, MOVIES AND FICTION BOOKS. and in and of themselves, they aren’t bad things
BUT. Sometimes, sometimes we get blinded by a good storyline and get sucked in. We get blinded to all the peripheral sin going on. And that is dangerous territory and that is exactly what happens to Lot as well. Though his circumstances are slightly different. The land he goes to is “good” but the people surrounding him are not!
2 Peter 2:7and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked 8(for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard);
Pondering all the false prophets I let into my life. They may not just be spiritual teachers, but those I am following in my day to day life. Do those people live like God commands or do they pay lip service and live another way OR does it blatantly go against God’s word and I allow it into my life to numb my mind and heart to what God calls sin. Lot does this by living in a city rampant with sin, he offered his daughters to the crowd, he had a husband chosen from the horrible city to marry his daughter. COMPROMISE, doesn’t just affect us, but our families as well. We can see the effect of compromise on Lot’s daughters.
In our everyday life we make compromises. Compromises aren’t necessarily bad. It’s when compromise hurts ours our others walk with God, that it becomes horrible. And recognizing it quickly is key. It’s amazing at how fast this can happen especially at your lowest points!
So here are steps to help combat this moments
1. Be in Gods word daily! A new thing I added recently is listening to the Bible. Some days are just too insane to add sitting for 10 minutes. I can hide God’s Word in my heart by listening to it while I wash dishes, fold laundry or make dinner!
2. Memorize these verses
1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
AND
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
3. Put Pure things in! Get lost in the Chronicles of Narnia, or Anne of Geen Gables, Little house on the Prairie. There are positive alternatives out there. You just have to make the effort. And if you are thinking oh those things are hokey or out of date, Well I promise you this in 10 years so will the stuff you are into now!the point isn’t graphics, animation, cool effects. Thats changes in this world so fast these days. What matter is purity. TRUTH.
4.ask yourself If the kids can’t watch it, Why? And then should I be watching this? And if the kids should walk in while I am watching this what would it communicate to them? Would it communicate a double standard? There are something’s that young children should not see…the news for instance, some documentaries. Adult conversations. (We didn’t let our kids watch the Bill Nye/ken Ham debate,not because it was bad but because there were sensitive adult subjects that an 8,7,6 and 3 year old are not capable of processing yet)
5. This new one I added after reading Courtney Joseph’s book Women Living Well! Would I invite these people into my house to have sex on the couch in front of me and my children? Seriously think about this! This IS what we are doing!
It all comes down to this: : it’s a perspective change. We try not to let false teachers in but every once in a while one sneaks in. It’s a good reminder that despite a “great storyline”. Sometimes we need to shut off a TV show or movie, put down that book, and change the radio station! Because it may have a great beat, or a funny or compelling storyline but if the circumstances surrounding the storyline or lines laced into that great beat go against God’s word thaen we are not guarding our heart! This is not easy and convicted my heart as I am constantly reviewing why we do what we do in our family……does this fit into 1Corinthians 10:31 and Philippians 4:8-9
1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
AND
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
If it goes against these then we are in danger! Our children are in danger, because hypocrisy jeprodizes faith in the greatest of ways.
This was an easy task!
I have no qualms in admitting I am a HUGE TobyMac fan.
I may *cough* or may not have taught my children the moves to his song Me Without You.
And even though I am no one famous…..
I do not perform in any way (usually)
As a pastor’s wife I sometimes find myself speaking in public, teaching Sunday school, an impromptu skit……or any number of other ransoms things…..and for me personally this particular song, is such an amazing, humbling prayer.
Are we willing step step aside from our plans….what we have prepared and let God change the direction….this does not mean not preparing and fly by the seat of your pants! Just let God do what He is going to do and be very aware of what is happening before your eyes!
The song is ….
STEAL MY SHOW by TobyMac
Another cold night
Another late flight
It’s almost show time, and Diverse City’s waitin’ on me
We got a packed house, the crowd is callin’ out
They want the beat to drop, but what we really need is You
[Chorus:]
If You wanna steal my show, I’ll sit back and watch You go
If You got somethin’ to say, go on and take it away
Need You to steal my show, can’t wait to watch You go
So take it away
So now the crowd is hype, that you showed up tonight
Anticipatin’, cravin’ somethin’ more than smoke and lights
So I’ll step out the way, I’ll give You center stage
Alight
Spotlight
Give ’em what they came for …
[Chorus]
When You arrive, we come to life
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time
You’re comin’ through, all eyes on You
Our hearts collide, they’re beating in the same time, beating in the same time
No matter who we are, no matter what we do
Every day we can choose to say …
[Chorus]
My life
My friends
My heart
It’s all Yours, God
Take it away
My dreams
My fears
My family
My career
Take it away
Take it away
It’s all Yours, God
Take it away
Take it away
It’s You I wanna live for
I don’t talk much on here about our school choices for our kids, but I have wrestled…oh how I have wrestled.
We have chosen a path for our children, one that was rooted in much prayer and I’d girded with much sacrifice.
I want to preface this with two disclaimers
1. I have nothing against parents who send their kids to public school.
2. I have nothing against parents who homeschool their kids.
So those two things being said, I expect understanding that we chose the path of Christian school for our kids. We have received a lot of flack from mostly Christians about why we have chosen that path.
It’s expensive…yep!
It’s different….Yep.
I’m not going to sit here and apologize for it either.. My husband and I are both products of public school. I transferred my senior year to a Christian school. It was by far the best year of school until that point. I have a great group of friends that extend out of that….thanks Dave, Richie, Howie, Greg,Goldie Tom and Jeff. I still laugh at loud at some of the antics, lunch conversations……and study hall mischief (Mrs H you were the best!). Were the kids perfect ? No way !
But as we had kids and I tried doing preschool…..I quickly learned homeschooling was NOT for me! I could do it, but that’s not what God wanted for me….I was miserable and so was Tornado! Then we moved…..we prayed, we did our homework. We prayed, we prayed and we prayed! AND WE PRAYED SOME MORE! We attended parents nights and finally settled for what we thought we could afford.
Here are some fundamental truths we clung to as we made this decision.
1. God wants us to be good stewards of all that he has given us, whether that’s our money, our cars, our house OR our children!
2. We should not put in garbage into our bodies, or minds. We define “garbage of the mind anything that goes against God’s word!
3. That we must teach our children to love and honor God, in all that we say and do.
That’s just a few. And when I say we settled, I really mean we settled. It wasn’t the best choice for our family….it was the most reasonable!. And we paid for it too! Our kids were broken. Even I as their parent was afraid of parent/teacher conferences..
I don’t know which was worse, the day I heardthe teacher of my two oldest screaming at the class down the hall, or the day they told us our autistic son was not welcome to come back!
So we found ourselves searching. This time with new eyes….eyes wide open….what school is best for our kids? At this point we lived in a different district. Evaluations were being done on weasel, a one to one aid, Speech, Physical, and occupational therapy. But our question was public or private…..a lot of people asked why not homeschool him?
1. He’s autistic…we have a lot of friends who do that, homeschool their autistic kids….BUT, our little UNsocial butterfly would be much happier not a part of a group, but it is far better for him to be with people and learn social skills!
2. He would be I eligible for help, and I nor my husband are qualified to get him past the hurdles he has to overcome in school.
So that left us with two options.
Private or Public?
Well we were still convicted on the three listed above but now we also had to ask, which is best going to nurture the mind of an autistic kid who can’t differentiate between reality and make believe….OR ….at best accepts pretty much everything he sees and hears as truth.
Now I’m not looking for a theological discussion on post modern philosophy. I will just explain it like this….if it goes against God’s word then it’s not truth! That’s our FAITH,no religion, not something we just pulled out of the air. It’s our convictions!
So Christian school it is.
We are constantly teaching God’s word here at home.
The character qualities of Jesus. You see a lot of people view Christian school as the safe education of their children. “They learned it at school so I don’t have to worry about it here! At home!” That is where we differ from a lot of people I guess….we look at school especially Christian school as a back up, a safety net. A place that is going to follow through on what we are teaching at home and church. A place I don’t have to second guess that what they are teaching is contradicting the bible and their dad ( a pastor) .
But now I find my self deep in sadness. A bit of confusion because we were sure God was leading us to have weasel in this particular school….this school is great, but it’s not meshing well. Our other kids are very happy and are excelling! But now I feel as though my back is against the wall. I love the people he’s working with at the public school he has made great strides and improvements, but I can’t help the feeling that I am sending my poor defenseless sheep into hungry wolves. To confuse him. I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job protecting his mind and what goes in. I know he will be taught things contrary to God’s word.
It’s like a neat lady once told me you need to hold your husband and your children with an open hand, for when you are holding them too tightly , you may have to let go. I have protecting him for so long now, watching every little thing that enters his body, whether it be by mouth, eyes, or ears….it is now that I must let Go and let God do the guarding and protecting his mind. I must trust God….for I know not what else to do!
That is what I did today….i got Ugly! What does that mean? Well getting ugly is that all out crying moment when you can’t control tears, sobs…..anything. It’s that moment you fall to your knees and cry out to Jesus for your sanity’s sake. It’s that moment you have nothing left to give this world, and you need strength, mercy and grace lest you end up on the 5 o’clock news! (You hopefully understand that I said that to make a point!) It’s the breaking point where you have no where else to turn.
I have been catching up all week on a Bible Study God laid on my heart to join….4 weeks late! AMAZING thing is, i have almost accomplished that goal! So why all the ugly? Why today? Why now?
