So today we are going to chat about the book Hello Fears by Michelle Poler. Right now life is busy as we are gearing up for our second year of homeschooling so reading time is cut downs I won’t be progressing very fast.
Over the last two days I have read through page 26. And a brief detour to chapter 10 (per Michelle’s instructions). to get a better understanding of Michelle’s family history and the root of her fears. I think if we are all honest we all have deep roots that cause our fears.
A couple of my fears-
heights and the fear of falling
disappointing people
people’s criticism
making mistakes
hurting people
being misjudged/ misunderstood
Those are the top ones. Now as I Mentioned yesterday I am focusing on my writing because that is some of the greatest fears I am struggling with and keeping me from living life to the fullest. These fears are keeping me from doing something that I love.
Categories of fear
Michelle talks about how our fears fit into seven Categories. Those Categories are:
pain
danger
embarrassment
Rejection
loneliness
lack of control
disgust
For our assignment we were suppose to rank them from 1- being “sure I can handle it” to 7- “I would rather be dead! See Ya”
SO here’s my list.:
Disgust- hello I have four kids (3 of which are boys) and I have been to another country where I ate silkworm, pigs ear, chicken hearts, a whole squid and jellyfish.
loneliness- I am an introvert and I need that time alone to refill my people tank. It gets number 2 spot because unlike Michelle I don’t need people around me all the time. As a kid and teenager and even into my young adult years I feared being alone and needed people around to feel safe
Conrol- I like to feel in control of situations but the reality is I am not and I am *Mostly* ok with that. If you talked to me back in December I was pretty upset about December being ruined. And over the last 8 months I have struggled with anxiety and fear with my health being out of control. One of the speakers at the Global Leadership Summit said “The only constant thing in this life is change”, everything constantly changes and it’s how we handle those changes that matters.
Pain- I do not like pain. physical pain or mental/ emotional pain. though I think the latter is a bigger struggle for me. I don’t like getting hurt by people. And I am very afraid of inflicting that kind of pain on people as well.
Danger- Who likes being in danger? Not me…No sir.
Embarrassment- I have friends who have definitely pushed me past my limits in this area. My entire life this has been a huge fear. I am guessing rooted in some major bullying that happened as a kid/ teen.
Rejection- and this is why we are here. This fear has many facets for me and I am VERY sure we will be diving deeper into this in the coming chapters.
So How about you? How would you rank your categories of fears?
Hey all, It’s been a few months and a lot has happened in our lives since I last wrote here on March 15th! I wanted to start off by saying that this isn’t a book review (YET!). That will come at the end of me reading the book. but first how I got here to Hello Fears.
Health Issues
I have mentioned a few times that I had some medical issues back in December It was a surprise and came out of no where. It was brutal. I landed in the emergency room 3 times in the month of December plus one scheduled procedure and 2 separate nights in the hospital. That part of my medical journey came to an end after my 6 month check up in June. But because of that adventure it brought to light 2 other issues that are kind of related. I am currently in the middle of figuring those things out.
One is a auto-immune issue. I have currently finished my testing for and just waiting for results and plan of attack- the doctor said it is usually a simple fix but I will discuss that more at a later date as we learn more about what this entails.
The second is an ongoing battle of iron deficiency and anemia I am currently not anemic jus iron deficient. We are working to figure out of I have celiacs disease and I have gotten my first two iron infusions and I am currently feeling much better. And now I find myself in the wait.
Ministry Update
In April my husband resigned as pastor of our church. We have served at this church for just over 12 years and it has been such a huge part of our family! So much so that after one vacation one of our young children clapped their hand and said “Yay we are home” as we pulled into the church parking lot.
This was a very difficult decision to make but God made it very clear it was time for us to move on. Many tears were shed both with our church and here in our home. We didn’t have a ministry to move on to so we still live in our home here in the same area.
We are currently in the search process and Hubby is working in the construction field. It has been stretching process but we continue to grow and learn and grow closer to Jesus each and every day. And despite the tests we have had some really neat opportunities. We have reconnected with friends we haven’t had the chance to connect with in a long time.
The last two weeks -Facing my fears head on
So now that you are up to speed on what the last 8 1/2 months have held we can now talk about how the last two weeks have been an adventure. Hubby got a call from a local pastor friend and asked if he and I wanted to attend the Global Leadership Summit together. Hubby has attended the conference for quite a few years but we just thought this year wasn’t going to work out. Low and behold God had other plans.
I had never attended the summit before and I’m not going to lie I was concerned. The exhaustion level I was experiencing from the iron deficiency was rendering me useless after just a few hours each morning. I was afraid that I was not going to be able to stay awake or have a clear mind to focus. As it was , My hubby spoke up in my doctors appointment and asked the doctor if we could start the iron infusions sooner rather than waiting for another test. He said sure why not. and I managed to get my first infusion before the second day of the conference.
As we left that day hubby noted that I looked so much better. and I felt better. it was supposed to take a couple of weeks but the effects were pretty amazing.
The First day of the Summit
The first speaker oof the Summit coined a new phrase. PUC. PAIN. UNCERTAINTY. CHAOS. HMMMMMMM. “I think I am supposed to be here” I thought to myself. PUC defined the last 8 1/2 months.
The next speaker I had never heard of- Michelle Poler author of HELLO FEARS. What I didn’t realize was that the biggest theme of the two day summit was going to be Bravery, Courage and getting out of one’s comfort zone. AKA facing our fears – I was in for it!
Michelle talked about her #100DayProject and she chose to face 100 fears. And I was hit square between the eyes with the reality that I have been living within a comfort zone- being fearful. The reality of the matter is I have been letting fear control what I write here. You can check out her YouTube Channel HERE. (DISCLAIMER:I haven’t viewed all videos)
The Easy Way out
I write from my own devotions and reading, messages I hear, and personal experiences. If I am writing something oftentimes its born out of what I am reading and the messages I have heard that will also coincide and thoughts will form. My purpose in writing is to help people grow in their walk with God and this includes myself . Many times I write to myself. In the past my writing whether on social media or here has been critiqued and I have been accused of being angry. I have had to take social media posts and blog posts to friends and hubby and have them read them to let me know if that is really how they sound. Honestly that was never my intention. And so the people that know me and my heart have been the barometer of those posts.
However I began to be afraid to share anything because I didn’t want to come across as angry. so I let that fear win and I chose the easy way out. I just focused on the fun stuff. the fluffy stuff and I set aside the growing list of blog posts coming out of bible study, devotions, reading and real life .
The next steps
So I came home and I purchased the book. I texted a friend and told her my desire. She has been walking the last 8 months with me. She has checked in on me And God had been prompting me to ask her to help me on this journey. but I again was afraid, Of being rejected. because that happened too, more times than I can count but I needed to be brave and take the step to move forward.
So here I am, my friend has the list of 47 HARD blog posts I have been putting off (for years!!). I am still going to write the fun stuff. I am just going to write and my friend is going to make sure I write the hard stuff. The stuff I have been afraid to write. I am going to face these fears and embrace the gift I have been told I have. I also learned that I need to stop coming up with the worst that can happen and ask myself what is the best that can happen.
What to expect in the coming weeks- Facing My fears
This is the first big steps of many more steps -99 to be exact. I am also going to step out and share a fun side of myself that I haven’t really shared here before.
Tomorrow I will begin my journey by sharing my journey through this book. I plan on blogging all of the exercises and journalling parts.
Will you join me as I tackle this #100Day Project of facing my fear of writing like the real me?
PLAN. That is what I do. That is what God has created me tone good at. I own a few planners. I keep a detailed planner for our family’s everyday adventures. Even in 2020 when the world was planning NOTHING I still kept a planner and turned it into a journal of sorts, to remember what we cam through together as a family.
Planning is a good thing BUT we cannot let our plans control us. We Must be FLEXIBLE! Hubby made some statements about that in his sermon this past Sunday! There is a part two of this blog post coming soon so I don’t want to get to ahead of myself.
The Back Story- The Root of Plan A
For a few years now I have been holding onto this Printable from Life Action Ministries (You can find the printable by clicking the Link above) called Put Off Put On. Each Day has a habit / attitude or action that is unbiblical that you put off and a Biblical one you put on. And for a number of years I have thought that when I did the study that I would s make it into a blog post series. It really was set up perfectly for that.
Putting Plan A into Action
Well fast forward to December of 2020- I found myself in a state of confinement to a couch and small spare bedroom in our house. I could barely move I was in so much pain but it gave me a lot of time to think and pray. As I did that plans began to form for the year 2021. and Put Off Put On found itself top on the priority list! It even made it’s way into the blog planner for each week and on January 1st it became apart of my morning devotional time. I finished the first week and I sat down to write the blog post- nothing- not one single thing.
All the while my other parts of my study and reading were fitting together and I was making some neat connections there just wasn’t words for my plan. I said ok Lord I’m going to keep going and just study and read these verses and contemplate the contrasting actions and virtues.
Two Days Left- I let go of plan A a Month ago.
So here I am, two days left in what I thought was going to be a need series of blog and posts and I am writing about how I have had to let go of my plan to make it so. By Wednesday I will have completed 55 days of Putting off and Putting On. I have grown through them but no words to share with you but these.
I make lots of “great” plans but rarely do they turn out the way I think they should. I could just throw up my hands and say I quit. I will NEVER do or try tat again. There are many times I could have quit blogging because things didn’t go as I have planned. But we are commanded to persevere- to not give up so easily.
Some of the greatest moments in my life came as a Plan B- I had a mentor in college who so wisely taught me to invite God into my plan A, Give it to Him and be Ready for Plan B- God’s Plan. When I am flexible with my plans God forms them into his and amazing things happen.
Plan B Christmas
Every year for Christmas I try to make it as fun and creative as possible because as a full time ministry family the holidays aren’t “normal” (And I can hear all of my sweet friends chanting “Normal just a setting on the dryer”) Well this Christmas I knew I had the greatest gift ever- Quarantined Life! so I planned all these cool things. I actually made the advent calendar that has been sitting in my closet for YEARS and painted it and filled it with all these amazing family activities. And then I woke up on December 8th and was rushed off to the ER for what would be 4 hospital visits in 3 weeks.
I cried all the way to the hospital on a couple of this trips feeling like I had ruined Christmas for the whole family. This was a different sort of Plan B than some silly set of blog posts not being written This affected our entire family. And Hubby and the kids were scared- I massacred because nasty words were being thrown around at the hospital like “tumors” and “cancer”. I can tell you right now as of this moment there aren’t any tumors and there never was any cancer- but things didn’t “look” right and some nurses spoke out of turn. My kids had to see me the sickest and I the most pain I had ever been in ….Including 4 births and a gall bladder issue. THAT was NOT my Plan A!
Hindsight into God’s Plan
God’s plan B had been put into full swing- And I had t sit back and let hubby do most of it and he did awesome. I was so proud of him. And my friends- the ones who really knew me and really cared spoke words of truth into my life and my heart. They were superficial words. They weren’t pat answers- they could do that because they knew me and my heart. Through God’s plan B they had an opportunity to minister to my heart.
And our kids-wow! Our kids are so ministry minded to begin with my their acts of service to me was beyond what 10 to 15 years olds should do and yet they were amazing and we watched them grow so much through all of this.
Getting Mixed up
I think sometimes we get confused about the difference between perseverance and stubbornness is . Perseverance is being faithful even when things don’t go our way and being stubborn is doing our own way even if God is saying no, not yet- or just plain no.
He doesn’t want us to like that little boy with his trucks or that little girl with her dolls who don’t get their own way….we’ve seen it play out many times on TV or in our backyards….they are my______ and if we don’t do it my way I’m gonna pack up my_________ and go home. He wants us to trust him that HIS ways are better than our ways. He wants us o be a part of his amazing plan not just have hime be a part of our mediochre plans.
I want to challenge you just Like Ma Parker did for me to take God all of your plans and ask him to make them his plans and to help you to be aware and flexible for the changes he WILL make! Being willing to surrender your plans allows for great opportunity!
I will promise you that Plan B is always a bigger blessing thanPlan A- it may take a while to see it but with faith and trust God works miracles!
What about you…..What has been a Plan A that God has turned into an Amazing Plan B?
Good morning everyone (evening by the time you read this!) and a happy Monday. Last week was such a SLOW week for me. Apparently I have been fighting an infection that really didn’t hold many symptoms for me. I just kept getting more and more tired. All of this led for more tests and doctor’s teemed calls and now I’m over half done with my third round of antibiotics in way too short of a time span. I feel way less sluggish today so hopefully that’s a good sign
Let’s get into this weeks post!
♥The Weather♥♥ .
♥♥How I am feeling this morning♥♥
Much better today not nearly as tired
♥♥On the breakfast plate♥♥
Eggs and bacon and cheesecake I didn’t eat last night
Friday- Leftovers Saturday -Vegetable Beef Soup Sunday – Venison Potatoes and carrots in the crockpot
♥♥From the camera♥♥
♥♥Something I want to share♥♥
Love people No matter what!
♥♥Devotional, inspirational, prayer list or Bible verse♥♥
I finished In His Image by Jen Wilkin this morning. Fabulous book It really has challenged me over the last couple of weeks and I highly recommend this book
Happy Monday everyone! I hope you have had an amazing week.
♥♥The Weather♥♥
COLD- tomorrow might count as a heat wave at a whopping 29 degrees. Don’t worry as you will see the temps start heading south again by the end of the week .
And we won’t even discuss night time temps BRRRR. ♥♥How I am feeling this morning♥♥
Exhausted. And a tad discouraged finding it hard to get motivated
♥♥On my mind♥♥
Learning- Sometimes the learning process exhausting. Being a responsible learner means you have to apply what you are learning. Sometimes when you are learning a lot all at once can make you feel like you aren’t applying what you learn responsibly. Do you follow?
♥♥On the breakfast plate♥♥
Cold pizza. It was a rushed morning . And I just grabbed what was in the fridge
♥♥New recipe I tried last week, or one that we really enjoyed♥♥
Nothing
♥♥To relax this week, I will♥♥
Read and write
♥♥Something I want to share♥♥
This year I have taken on bullet journaling for both my blog and reading. It gives me exactly what need because I choose what gets added and what doesn’t.
♥♥Devotional, inspirational, prayer list or Bible verse♥♥
Today I was reading in James 5 an answer to prayer happened. I always think its amazing how when You ask God to give you wisdom and insight in growing in your faith . This was no different I have been on a journey of becoming a better pray-er and this chapter had some great insight for me!
