Category: Faith

What I Know -Choosing Courage -Day 10

Posted on by Mary
Know

Good evening sweet friends! Welcome to Day 10 of my Choosing Courage Project. Today we are going to talk about “What I know”. the great thing is what I know is what you can know too.

But First the back story

I know I have shared what my December looked like but what I haven’t shared was how much of a mental struggle it was.

As a family we grew leaps and bounds throughout the whole season of lockdown.. We made it as much fun as we possibly could and did a lot of really awesome stuff together. We did long distance daily lego challenges with an uncle and a cousin. During the summer we had friends over to play on our slip n slide. and Christmas was shaping up to be a fun one too. I had made a fun advent calendar. Each day held a fun family activity and a reverse advent calendar where we put an item of food in a box and then donated it to a family.

Everything was going great until December 8th. That was the first of three trips to the ER and for the next three days we lived in complete uncertainty as to why my body had quit doing a very simple task that we all do every single day (sorry for now that’s all the details you get). The did a quick fix and sent me home. 2 days later I found myself right back there and this time I got some answers…and I knew what it meant…or at least I thought I did. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the phrase “you are a very special case”. and I would continue to prove them right all through the month of December.

A week later I had a special procedure and I was told that I would be in the worst pain I have ever experienced and they weren’t wrong. I made it through Christmas and the pain was finally subsiding. I knew surgery was coming and then the pain started- different pain on the 27th.

Back to the ER on the 28th

Up until this point I was exhausted and in pain but my focus had been where it should be on Jesus. But when I found myself in what felt like labor. I can’t tell you how many times that day that I was a very special case and hat “we have never seen anything quite like this” and off to the ER I went again.

And at this point I was at my breaking point. I felt like I was losing my mind. Have you ever been in such excruciating pain that wouldn’t stop. You seriously feel like you are going crazy….or at least I did. and then I reached out to my friends in tears I wrote “I feel like I am making life difficult for everyone right now I’m struggling to see the purpose in this for sure.” I was laying a lone In the ER for the third time, I was mentally, physically and emotionally spent. I felt like I had completely ruined Christmas for everyone. I had spent weeks a lone on the apartment. We had a kid in quarantine and hubby was trying to keep me healthy because we knew I had to have surgery but not sure when. On December 28th God took surgery off the table.

After that post one of my friends sent me a devotional she had read the same morning. Are you ready for the title?

When you Don’t Understand God’s Timing ……REALLY?? I can’t make this stuff up! The author, Alicia Bruxvoort.

Here’s the excerpt of that devotional.

But I’m learning that when God’s timing doesn’t match my pining, I need to focus on what I know rather than what I feel. So, I turn to Ecclesiastes 3:11 and read the words of King Solomon:

“God has given [us] a desire to know the future. He does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what he is doing.”

This verse helps me filter my frustration through God’s unchanging truth. It reminds me that my delays aren’t a sign of God’s indifference, but an expression of His wisdom. 

I’ll never fully understand the complexities of God’s eternal plan while I’m bound to the dust of earth. But I can place my hope in God’s integrity even when I can’t comprehend His itinerary.

When my hope is tied to God’s trustworthiness instead of His timing, it changes my attitude in the waiting.

I am prone to recall His faithfulness instead of questioning His fairness. (Psalm 77:11)

I am able to respect His wisdom instead of disputing His ways.

I am inclined to celebrate His majesty instead of second-guessing His motives.

But, best of all, when I place the crux of my faith on the trustworthiness of God’s character, I discover an unexpected gift in the grit of delay.

It’s that first line that really hit me….”ut I’m learning that when God’s timing doesn’t match my pining, I need to focus on what I know rather than what I feel.”

I was having a whole lot of really raw and scary feelings (The was compounded by some anxiety induced by low iron levels that couldn’t even be registered in my blood work.

Where “What I know ” was born.

That sentence changed everything and gave bye a change of perspective. Right then and there I started going over and over in my head all the truth I knew about God and you know what I learned? When you are in intense pain AND have morphine coursing through your system your memory is NOT GOOD AT ALL! and so I purposed in my heart togo on a learning adventure when I got home. I would write down all of my “learning is a set of spiral bound set of index cards.

Know

I wrote these items don- all scripture based and when I have struggled I turn to that little tool . It is amazing just how many promises and characteristics of God cam during that time. They were everywhere (They still are).

I think so often that we are going through something we look for a quick fix. I could have jumped to a tool that had all of these things already done fore me but for this time and circumstance, I needed to go on this journey by myself. Reading and searching God’s word for these gems.

So What Now?

I’m still adding to this notebook. These note cards have helped many a night when the anxiety sky- rockets as my iron level dropped. It slipped easily into my purse when going to a doctor’s appointment that triggered fear and anxiety.

I continue this journey with what I know because feelings are deceitful and can mislead us.

How about you? Do you have a plan in place for when you are facing fear and anxiety? How do you keep your mind focused on what you know rather than our misleading feelings? Let me know in the comments below !

For more of the Choosing Courage posts click here.

When the Bible Becomes a Textbook- Day 7

Posted on by Mary
Bible

The Bible A Textbook?

It’s a problem that seems to be growing more and more within the church. It’s more prevalent in college’s and seminaries where the Bible really is on the textbook list. I think a Bible was on every class syllabus I had throughout college except for Math class and maybe the two English classes I had.

When the Bible is taught on an academic level we need to be careful to make sure the Bible stays personal. We need to be sure that we realize that the Bible never returns void and that we can learn something each and every time we read it. But it’s not just in college and seminary, this happens in churches too. It happens when believers take in too much spiritual information. We do it in the name of learning but we forget that there is another piece….

Spiritual Gluttony

Are you a “FAT” Christian? There are so many spiritually obese Christians within the church. They sit in their homes and in Bible studies and they talk about how much they have learned and how much time they spend praying or studying God’s word. They can quote and re-quote God’s word . Yes we are commanded to learn and hide God’s word in our hearts.

That’s not the problem. the problem is when we as believers don’t use the knowledge God has given us through his word. And it’s not just what we do with it it is HOW we use it.

3 Areas That point to spiritual obesity

  1. Holding one’s quiet time/ spiritual disciplines over another person. When we think that our spirituality is greater than someone else’s we are elevating ourselves over others. We aren’t to think ourselves better than other people, no matter how much time we spend in God’s Word.
  2. Using scripture to beat people up. Misuse of scripture and hurting others also shows a lack of maturity in faith. I’m not saying we shouldn’t speak truth but oftentimes we forget the second part of that verse. We need to speak the truth IN LOVE. Not with the proverbial biblical baseball bat.
  3. A lack of spiritual growth. I once heard someone say “I’m not a very merciful person.” It was this person’s excuse to behave poorly and mistreat people. We shouldn’t wear our sins and faults as a badge of honor (more on this in an upcoming blog post). When we know but are not putting the knowledge into practice we show a lack of growth.

Right now our church is doing a study of the book Respectable Sins. And today in church the message was on harshness. And each Sunday, the pastor speaking answers a respectable sin with a Fruit of the spirit. Today the pastor said that fruit is there for us to pick and use as we need and sometimes we just ignore the fruit entirely. Wow!

4 Steps to keep us from Making the Bible. textbook

  1. Remember that the Bible is for us to grow. We need to take the beam out of our own eye before we can take the speck out of another. It’s called humility. Remember that scripture never returns void. We are to learn to become closer to Jesus and grow in his heart and character.
  2. Humility, humility, humility. Have a teachable spirit. Don’t forget that we need to not only take in the information, we also need to apply it to our own lives.
  3. Remember we cannot give what we do not have. You cannot tell someone else how to live if you yourself do not have Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control.
  4. Practice the idea of a personal prayer closet. It doesn’t matter how much time you spend in God’s word just as long as you are devoted to him and have a teachable spirit. If you are reading God’s word for the sake of attacking someone, that isn’t a teachable spirit. Depending on the specific season of our lives we may not have the ability to spend longer in God’s word. Case in point: In December I couldn’t spend as much time in God’s word however, I grew by leaps and bounds because my faith was being stretched in far different ways. My prayer life was different, I learned to rely on God for the most basic of needs. And it taught me a whole new level of reliance on God.

A word about forbearance

Forbearance is a funny word- I have studied it before but I always forget what it means and then I look it up and I say “OHHHHHH”. It also happens to be what I have seen as one of the BIGGEST struggles within the church- patience and tolerance.

Tolerance is more than “you need to be tolerant of me and my ________”

Remember the “we can’t give what we don’t have”. If you cannot be tolerant of the music, or the children in church than you cannot expect to receive tolerance for whatever your preferences are. Did you notice I said preference? Sin should never be tolerated in church.

Confession time

I have struggled with this from time to time. If we are honest with ourselves we all struggle with this. And it’s that honesty that will make the biggest impact in our walk with God. Repent of our sin of mistreating others, misusing God’s word and give over that critical spirit to God and allow Him to change our hearts.

It’s time we realize that being obese Christians fattened up by all of our knowledge is useless. It’s only when we apply God’s word to our lives that it is at it’s most useful state.

How about you? Have you ever struggled with falling into the ‘Bible as a textbook as a trap”? Let me know how you have overcome it in the comments below.

Hello Fears -Day 2

Posted on by Mary
Fears

Good evening everyone,

So today we are going to chat about the book Hello Fears by Michelle Poler. Right now life is busy as we are gearing up for our second year of homeschooling so reading time is cut downs I won’t be progressing very fast.

Fears

Over the last two days I have read through page 26. And a brief detour to chapter 10 (per Michelle’s instructions). to get a better understanding of Michelle’s family history and the root of her fears. I think if we are all honest we all have deep roots that cause our fears.

A couple of my fears-

  • heights and the fear of falling
  • disappointing people
  • people’s criticism
  • making mistakes
  • hurting people
  • being misjudged/ misunderstood

Those are the top ones. Now as I Mentioned yesterday I am focusing on my writing because that is some of the greatest fears I am struggling with and keeping me from living life to the fullest. These fears are keeping me from doing something that I love.

Categories of fear

Michelle talks about how our fears fit into seven Categories. Those Categories are:

  1. pain
  2. danger
  3. embarrassment
  4. Rejection
  5. loneliness
  6. lack of control
  7. disgust

For our assignment we were suppose to rank them from 1- being “sure I can handle it” to 7- “I would rather be dead! See Ya”

SO here’s my list.:

  1. Disgust- hello I have four kids (3 of which are boys) and I have been to another country where I ate silkworm, pigs ear, chicken hearts, a whole squid and jellyfish.
  2. loneliness- I am an introvert and I need that time alone to refill my people tank. It gets number 2 spot because unlike Michelle I don’t need people around me all the time. As a kid and teenager and even into my young adult years I feared being alone and needed people around to feel safe
  3. Conrol- I like to feel in control of situations but the reality is I am not and I am *Mostly* ok with that. If you talked to me back in December I was pretty upset about December being ruined. And over the last 8 months I have struggled with anxiety and fear with my health being out of control. One of the speakers at the Global Leadership Summit said “The only constant thing in this life is change”, everything constantly changes and it’s how we handle those changes that matters.
  4. Pain- I do not like pain. physical pain or mental/ emotional pain. though I think the latter is a bigger struggle for me. I don’t like getting hurt by people. And I am very afraid of inflicting that kind of pain on people as well.
  5. Danger- Who likes being in danger? Not me…No sir.
  6. Embarrassment- I have friends who have definitely pushed me past my limits in this area. My entire life this has been a huge fear. I am guessing rooted in some major bullying that happened as a kid/ teen.
  7. Rejection- and this is why we are here. This fear has many facets for me and I am VERY sure we will be diving deeper into this in the coming chapters.

So How about you? How would you rank your categories of fears?

See you tomorrow! Goodnight!

You can check out Michell’s book Here

You can check out yesterday’s post here

Letting Go Of Plan A

Letting Go Of Plan A

Posted on by Mary
Plan

PLAN. That is what I do. That is what God has created me tone good at. I own a few planners. I keep a detailed planner for our family’s everyday adventures. Even in 2020 when the world was planning NOTHING I still kept a planner and turned it into a journal of sorts, to remember what we cam through together as a family.

Planning is a good thing BUT we cannot let our plans control us. We Must be FLEXIBLE! Hubby made some statements about that in his sermon this past Sunday! There is a part two of this blog post coming soon so I don’t want to get to ahead of myself.

The Back Story- The Root of Plan A

For a few years now I have been holding onto this Printable from Life Action Ministries (You can find the printable by clicking the Link above) called Put Off Put On. Each Day has a habit / attitude or action that is unbiblical that you put off and a Biblical one you put on. And for a number of years I have thought that when I did the study that I would s make it into a blog post series. It really was set up perfectly for that.

Putting Plan A into Action

Well fast forward to December of 2020- I found myself in a state of confinement to a couch and small spare bedroom in our house. I could barely move I was in so much pain but it gave me a lot of time to think and pray. As I did that plans began to form for the year 2021. and Put Off Put On found itself top on the priority list! It even made it’s way into the blog planner for each week and on January 1st it became apart of my morning devotional time. I finished the first week and I sat down to write the blog post- nothing- not one single thing.

All the while my other parts of my study and reading were fitting together and I was making some neat connections there just wasn’t words for my plan. I said ok Lord I’m going to keep going and just study and read these verses and contemplate the contrasting actions and virtues.

Two Days Left- I let go of plan A a Month ago.

So here I am, two days left in what I thought was going to be a need series of blog and posts and I am writing about how I have had to let go of my plan to make it so. By Wednesday I will have completed 55 days of Putting off and Putting On. I have grown through them but no words to share with you but these.

Plan

I make lots of “great” plans but rarely do they turn out the way I think they should. I could just throw up my hands and say I quit. I will NEVER do or try tat again. There are many times I could have quit blogging because things didn’t go as I have planned. But we are commanded to persevere- to not give up so easily.

Some of the greatest moments in my life came as a Plan B- I had a mentor in college who so wisely taught me to invite God into my plan A, Give it to Him and be Ready for Plan B- God’s Plan. When I am flexible with my plans God forms them into his and amazing things happen.

Plan B Christmas

Every year for Christmas I try to make it as fun and creative as possible because as a full time ministry family the holidays aren’t “normal” (And I can hear all of my sweet friends chanting “Normal just a setting on the dryer”) Well this Christmas I knew I had the greatest gift ever- Quarantined Life! so I planned all these cool things. I actually made the advent calendar that has been sitting in my closet for YEARS and painted it and filled it with all these amazing family activities. And then I woke up on December 8th and was rushed off to the ER for what would be 4 hospital visits in 3 weeks.

I cried all the way to the hospital on a couple of this trips feeling like I had ruined Christmas for the whole family. This was a different sort of Plan B than some silly set of blog posts not being written This affected our entire family. And Hubby and the kids were scared- I massacred because nasty words were being thrown around at the hospital like “tumors” and “cancer”. I can tell you right now as of this moment there aren’t any tumors and there never was any cancer- but things didn’t “look” right and some nurses spoke out of turn. My kids had to see me the sickest and I the most pain I had ever been in ….Including 4 births and a gall bladder issue. THAT was NOT my Plan A!

Hindsight into God’s Plan

God’s plan B had been put into full swing- And I had t sit back and let hubby do most of it and he did awesome. I was so proud of him. And my friends- the ones who really knew me and really cared spoke words of truth into my life and my heart. They were superficial words. They weren’t pat answers- they could do that because they knew me and my heart. Through God’s plan B they had an opportunity to minister to my heart.

And our kids-wow! Our kids are so ministry minded to begin with my their acts of service to me was beyond what 10 to 15 years olds should do and yet they were amazing and we watched them grow so much through all of this.

Getting Mixed up

I think sometimes we get confused about the difference between perseverance and stubbornness is . Perseverance is being faithful even when things don’t go our way and being stubborn is doing our own way even if God is saying no, not yet- or just plain no.

He doesn’t want us to like that little boy with his trucks or that little girl with her dolls who don’t get their own way….we’ve seen it play out many times on TV or in our backyards….they are my______ and if we don’t do it my way I’m gonna pack up my_________ and go home. He wants us to trust him that HIS ways are better than our ways. He wants us o be a part of his amazing plan not just have hime be a part of our mediochre plans.

I want to challenge you just Like Ma Parker did for me to take God all of your plans and ask him to make them his plans and to help you to be aware and flexible for the changes he WILL make! Being willing to surrender your plans allows for great opportunity!

I will promise you that Plan B is always a bigger blessing thanPlan A- it may take a while to see it but with faith and trust God works miracles!

What about you…..What has been a Plan A that God has turned into an Amazing Plan B?

Stay tuned for Part 2 in this series.

Hindsight is “2020”

Posted on by Mary
2020

I know I know, you are saying “MARY! Why on earth do you want to go back to 2020…DO YOU REMEMBER DECEMBER!?!” The Answer is Yes I do remember 2020….Yes I do remember December 2020- but the problem is the question. I DO want to December 2020. I DON’T want to RELIVE. December!

Remembering is what Keeps us from Repeating

We all know the phrase “history repeats itself”. And it is so true. History teaches us so many things and when we don’t remember it’s obvious we forget and when we forget….and when we forget history repeats itself. weened to learn from our mistakes….and others mistakes. I am going to address this in the next couple of weeks in a blog post about the importance of those who have gone before us.

In some Christian circles today we tend to forget those courageous believers who have fought some amazing battles for the faith and we tend to put stock in those still walking out their faith today. this was a realization for me in 2020 as some major “influencers of the faith” fell off their proverbial pedestals and shocked us all. the problem is this:

  • they never belonged there in the first place
  • they haven’t finished the race yet!!!

I have been let down by a fair share of humans….HUMAN Christians to be exact. I am sure I have let people down too. BECAUSE I ASSURE you I AM HUMAN (my kids might disagree- at least I didn’t claim to be a normal human). I am not perfect and nor do I claim to be and yet I know that people put me on a higher plain because I am a pastor’s wife. I make mistakes. I blow it. I need Grace Mercy and Love just as much as anyone else on the face of this planet.

This is why modeling our lives after people who have finished the race well, those who have gone before use and fought the good fight make excellent role models. (But more on this in a few weeks)

What I learned in 2020
  • I have learned to set my sights on Jesus. There are lots of people in this world who will try to tell you what you are thinking feeling and what your motives are. The reality is I am not accountable to them.
  • I have learned to ask hard questions of my friends and husband, especially when accused of something. Sometimes our emotions get the better of us and we can’t see through them to the truth. Now this only works if you have friends who won’t pull any punches with you.
  • I have learned to speak up! For others that is.
  • I have learned how to rely on my husband in some new ways and to be honest about the state of my body in needing rest.
  • I have learned to ask for help.
  • I have learned to say “I need to go to the ER”.
  • I have learned to let people go.
  • I have learned to trust God with the smallest of details in a moment by moment situation when I am not sure if I can last a second longer in some of the worst pain in my life.
  • I have learned to let goals go. (and with that some self made ideals)
  • I have learned to say yes to God in new ways and no to people in others.
  • I have learned to love in new ways and pray in new ways.
  • I learned how many tiles were in an ER cubicle at the hospital ( I was on morphine- I know it was over 300 little squares but can remember exactly).
  • I learned how to use a bullet journal.
  • I learned how to have fun while in pain.
  • I learned how to put into practice the re-counting of WHAT I KNOW. (blog post coming next week)

And the list goes on and on. now you might say Mary how on earth can remember how many tiles on the ER room ceiling help you in the future- well it will help me to remember to bring a book with me the next time or to grab my phone from my purse so I can read from their.

In short 2020 taught me to Have Joy in the hardships (HA I told you I needed joy for a second year- now I know Why!). 2020 taut me how tobe intentional IN. Every. Single. THING. And now I am taking what I learned in 2020 and putting it into practice. That’s why this month is going to be focused on {intentional}LOVE. Because I can now loo back at 2020 and see the lessons I have learned it’s now my job to apply them.

In September of 2020 I really started paying attention to the thereof being Intentional and making very intentional choices and I kicked off that journey with a post called Intentionally Social: 3 Reasons to Keep Social Media. And since I wrote that post I have made an active choice to change the way I have been using social media. I always tried to use it the way I am now but it was haphazard . Now I am actively asking myself everyday- specifically my devotions and reading- WHAT DO I WANT TO REMEMBER FROM THIS……and I post it. If it helps or ministers to someone else great but I am choosing to intentionally use Facebook memories to REMEMBER!

So how about you what have you been learning in 2020? what has God been teaching you?

(Remember this is a positive place and we need to keep it kind and uplifting and if it doesn’t fit in the parameters of 1 Thessalonians 5:11 it will be deleted!)

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”