Category: Faith

Patience- Positive Influence Trait #4

Posted on by Mary
Patience

Ah Patience. It’s the fourth in line of the Fruit of the Spirit AND it’s the first descriptor of LOVE. But what on earth is patience?

Upon a quick google search I discovered a pretty simple definition of what Patience is.

Patience is defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. (Oxford English)

But I’m not super fond of this definition….I mean it’s good and all but this seems like it is built on our circumstances rather than how we LOVE people. Now in Galatians its not just talking about people it’s talking about our entire lives. The circumstances we have going on AND the people we deal with. Patience should be a trait of our entire lives.

So about our Circumstances

Hebrews10:36 says:

Patient endurance (the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way) is what you need now, so that you will continue to doGod’s will. THEN you will receive all that he promises. (NLT)

Life is difficult- running a race is difficult. the Bible talks about life being like a race. Not a 200 meter sprint but a long distance run. And it’s not a race AGAINST other people….it’s a race WITH people. I think we get the idea that if we can talk a good talk and look the part then we have succeeded as a Christian.

The whole time I am writing this a song is playing over and over in my head from my childhood. I was 14 when this song came out. the video impacted me greatly AND if you know my story you know that 14 was a big year. It was the year I had my eye surgery to repair one of my eyes. It’s not a Christian song by any means but it illustrates this patient endurance,

https://youtu.be/gGTLerCCZWY

Standing Outside the fire by Garth Brooks. This song was pivotal for me. It was long before I knew the names ofAny of the Christian artists that echo through our home now.

There is a picture of a mom and a dad and a boy with Down Syndrome. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture that my future husband and I would be parents to a child with a developmental disability- but we are. Thankfully we both act as the mom did in this video. But there are plenty of people in this world who act as the dad and coach do at the beginning.

Patient Endurance isn’t easy

Endurance is slow- It’s not a matter of a fast kick off- it’s not full speed ahead. It means that you need to keep going. It’s not about not falling and not gettign banged up in the process it’s about picking yourself up dusting yourself off and finishing well. You keep the eye on the prize…..The prize is “Good Job faithful servant”.

I HIGHLY recommend the book Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan. An allegory for the Christian life. Every person I know who has had a conversation with me about this book has said they have found themselves within the book. AND not always in the best places.

What about being Patient with the people in our lives?

So many times as Christians we to play the role of the dad and the coach declaring “Certain people don’t belong”. They don’t fit in our “RACE”. We want to run a clean elite race- OR better yet we want to sit in the stands and watch others RUN a GREAT CLEAN race. We are satisfied to turn on TV, Radio, or open a book and be spectators to other people’s races. We want to stand outside the fire. We don’t want to be patient with how God will use us in the race. We want to be used on our own terms. We don’t want to get too involved or in the too messy of situations.

But it is true in the song he says

Life is not tried it is merely survived
If you’re standing outside the fire

That’s not what the Christian walk is all about. We are called (all of us, not just the pastors, missionaries or other full time Christian worker) to get our hands dirty in ministry. We are not called to be consumer Christians.

The Church’s attitude

Now I know that this isn’t a Christian Song but the attitudes are the same.

The opening stanzas of the song depict what kinds of people fit and our attitudes towards them.

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always come with getting burned…..

…….We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

The difference between these two sets of people is one makes us comfortable and one makes us uncomfortable. One pushes our LOVE. The other is EASY . And I had some questions about how to be patient with BOTH sets of people.

I went back to the Bible…..

and did a quick word search for “Patient” And the verse I landed on was PERFECT!

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE!! (Ephesians 4:2 NLT)

Wait WHAT?

Yes you read that right..”.Because of your love”. So the first building block of the Fruit of the Spirit is LOVE and because of that LOVE we CAN have Patience!

This isn’t a new concept for me. See I know this really cute pastor (Ahem -my husband) that taught this very concept of the Fruit of the Spirit being a series of attributes and as you grow you add more steps.

And we will se this as we move throughout the rest of the traits. YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY of the other nine traits if you don’t first have LOVE. Love is the root of all this other traits.

Let’s be Honest though…..

The reason we don’t have patience to begin with is because we don’t want to LOVE THEM ( who is your THEM?)…..for each one of us THEM is different…..and usually it’s because they are way too different from me.

  • Senior Adults vs Children
  • Teenagers vs Teenagers
  • Christians VS EVERYONE
  • various Races against other Races
  • Democrats vs Repbulicans (And vice versa)
  • People with disabilities vs those who do not
  • and the list is never ending.

For every way we have a difference there is an opposing force ready to let us know how unloved and impatient they are with us. (Note I am not saying that we need to agree on everything- There can still be right and wrong AND love and patience..

Let’s not miss the HOW of being patient

Right smack in the middle of the verse it gives us the “how” ro be patient.

“Making allowance for each others faults”.

” EACH OTHER’S FAULTS”. That indicates SIN !

Oh man this goes against all of culture that says- “I need to protect me”. (Now let me be very clear. THIS ISN’T ABOUT ABUSE. I have spent a huge part of my adult life helping people who have endured and come out of abusive relationships.). This is about the everyday stuff.

This is solely about us being humans and having faults. We all make mistakes and we all have a sin nature. But it is our nature to be like, ” well that person has 3 strikes and then they are out!” Life is not a baseball game people and we need to stop burning bridges. I COMPLETELY understand what it means to be hurt by people. But in the same respect I also have seen some amazing stories of people who were patient and loving and God took that and built something beautiful out of a very messy situation.

Forgiveness is the Root of Patience.

As I sit here writing this I think about all the times I have been impatient with people and it’s a lot. And as I contemplate WHY I was impatient with them, it comes right down to mostly the same things I hear myself say over and over again.

  • They didn’t do it MY way
  • They hurt ME
  • They didn’t do it fast enough….for ME
  • They made ME uncomfortable.
  • I didn’t like what they did.
  • That’s not the way I want it,

We throw a proverbial hissy fit. We revert back to our two year old selves and say “fine if it can’t be my way than I’m taking my toys and going home”.

And we forget the forgiveness given to us. Jesus is our example in this patience and forgiveness.

Forgiveness says ” I have messed up many times and yet Jesus still loves me. He died for ALL of my mistakes. And because he did that I can forgive_______ for _______. Patience is meeting a person where they are at NOT where you want them to be. Patience doesn’t live in expectations of others.

A Big Contrast

This stark contrast is seen in the difference between Jesus and the Pharisees. Jesus wanted to be whole and free from whatever was holding them back. The Pharisees were unhappy with the outcome as they saw it and wanted to make an example of those who didn’t meet the expectations.

Who had the Bigger influence? Jesus who met people in their messes and patiently loved them to a right relationship with God or the Pharisees who lived by the unattainable laws they had created (because the standards of what God gave wasn’t enough)?

BOTH!

Jesus had the biggest POSITIVE influence and the Pharisees had the biggest NEGATIVE influence. And we can tell that by the OUTCOMES of how they treated people.

Jesus’ patience resulted in changed lives. The people who were changed by his loving patience went out and excitedly told other people.They turned away from their sin and said “Look what Jesus did for me”. Or Jesus wasn’t;t afraid of the law- He knew that uncleanness wasn’t what was most important. He HEALED PEOPLE

The Pharisees on the other hand invoked a spirit of fear and dread. Their reputation was known as being judgmental and exclusive. The made scars deeper. They hurt people. Physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Now it’s Your turn

So have you ever experienced impatience at the hand of someone else? Did it have a positive or negative influence on your life? Do you struggle with with patience like me? What is a perspective change you can make so you can become more patient either in your circumstances or with people?

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Love-Learning to Love Like Jesus

Posted on by Mary
Love

Welcome to our first Positive Influence Trait- LOVE. The word love is tossed around like a frisbee at a beach. We use it so flippantly that it loses it’s power and meaning. We start off my saying “I love you mommy and/or daddy”. Then we end up saying things like “I love those chips”. We tell our husband/wife “I Love you” then in the same breath say “I love football”. Our children hear “I love you” but then they also hear us say “I love this TV show”. Are these all on the same playing field? Do our relationships deserve the same LOVE as chips, football and TV shows?

What does the Bible say about Love?

The two greatest commandments are Love the Lord your God with all of Your Heart, Soul Mind and Strength and Love your Neighbor as Yourself. (Luke 10,27 NLT

We are to spend every part of ourselves loving God AND THEN we are supposed to love our neighbors like we love ourselves! You know the Golden Rule. Treat others they way you want to be treated.

But what does that look like- are there things that we all want or need ?

I am so glad you asked!!

I Corinthians 13- The Love Chapter

In First Corinthians 13 we see a list of what love is and what love isn’t.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

  1. Patient
  2. kind
  3. Not Jealous
  4. Not boastful;
  5. Not Proud
  6. not Rude
  7. Doesn’t demand it’s own way
  8. Not irritable
  9. keeps no record of being wronged
  10. Does not rejoice about being wronged BUT
  11. Rejoices whenever the truth wins out
  12. Never gives up
  13. Never Loses Faith
  14. Is always hopeful
  15. and endures through every circumstance

I want to be loved like that! So therefore I MUST love people like that!

Whew- Did you notice JUST how many fruit of the spirit are listed in the “what Love is and Isn’t” set of verses? Almost all of the Fruit of the sprit can be tied back to one of these traits of love.

BUT MARY….

I can hear it now here it comes I’m gonna hear why all of the circumstances surrounding someone’s life scenario keeps them from these action steps to being loving. I think that one of the craziest excuses I have ever heard was ‘I don’t have to be loving because they are being stupid”.

I cringe because so often that’s how we look at the Bible….We can dismiss it away accornding to our own perceptions in life. We are so self focused that we can say it’s ok for me to treat this person rudely because……and we forget that “Love is not rude”

How we want to be Treated Vs how we treat others

The same goes for all the other traits- but one of the worst is Patience. We want everyone to be patient with us but when we don’t have patience with others it’s not a problem. We feel entitled to their love, their attention, their money their….Goodness you fill in the blank. And feel angry and frustrated and let down when they don’t fulfill that need in our lives and yet rarely do we stop and ask ourselves “this is outside of their character, I wonder what’s going on with them? ” And then ask in patience and kindness. It takes our minds off of us and onto other people. It’s loving other people like we love ourselves and it’s treating others how you want to be treated.

But we are quick to ignore and forget I Corinthians 13:1-3

It Says

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

If we do all the “good things” in this world and we treat people rudely- and we aren’t patient and we aren’t kind, and we areself-serving- than we are just a bunch of clanging symbols….we ARE ANNOYING!

Annoying?

We are just a bunch of senseless chatter when our walk doesn’t match our talk. And people aren’t stupid. They catch on pretty quickly. The person who said they could treat someone rudely because they were “acting stupid”. was such a clanging symbol- They could talk all day about how the shared the gospel with people and how much they prayed and studied God’s word and then they would be rude to people and did things out of selfish ambition. And as soon as the person would start talking about their spirituality you could see the eyes roll. There would be heavy sighs.

The same is true for those like I mentioned yesterday who wear their sins as badges of honor. “I’m not very patient”. “I am just not a merciful person”. And usually they will tack on some form of “and that’s just the way God made me” dismissal. But then they will tell you about how long the spend studying God Word.

And I hear the words from the end of verse 3 echoing in my heart….

I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Why do we have Nothing? Because we haven’t let God’s word CHANGE US.

When we let God Change us with his word that’s when love starts to grow within us. .

Paul issues a strong warning just before the Fruit of the Spirit passage- It says:

13 For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. 14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[c] 15 But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another.

Wow. That’s powerful. Ya know we have kids learn verses in Sunday school and other church programs like Galatians 5:22-23 and I Corinthians 13: 4-7 but what good does that do them if we don’t teach them I Corinthians 13:1-3 and Galatians 55:13-15.

Modeling Love and the Best Model of All

How do kids learn to love? By being loved! How did Jesus teach the concept of unconditional LOVE? By loving people unconditionally. He was all of 1 Corinthians 13- He loved so well and he was not a clanging symbol. He didn’t treat people poorly. He loved the “unlovable (unlovable according to the cultures standards). He met them where they were at not where he thought they should be. He loved prostitutes and tax Collectors. The paralyzed, the sick- with leprousy and the woman with the issue of blood (things that would have caused him to be “unclean” in the culture). He loved people from other cultures (mixed races if you will). All Culturally unheard of practices.

But he set the culture and the religious systems aside. He practiced what he preached. And when a Pharisee came to him with honest questions and sought understanding he didn’t treat him like an idiot- he loved him unconditionally- Jesus loved people to a place of growth and understanding He Loved them to life!

That’s what I want

I don’t know about you but I want to be THAT kind if influencer I want to love people to life! I don’t want to be a clanging symbol. I don’t want to be annoying.

This world is in a constant state of hurt and pain. I want to be the hands feet and voice of Jesus. I want to be the living breathing example of Him. Because that maybe the ONLY way someone will ever be introduced to Jesus. But the ONLY way I can do that is choosing (That’s it- it’s a Choice- To quote an old DC Talk Song– LOVE IS A VERB) to love unconditionally like Jesus did. Love is the post powerful influence you can ever have!

And when we mess up…Because we will

We apologize…not with empty words but with sincere hearts. And how can we demonstrate our Sincerity? With Change! Let God change us into the loving image-bearer of Christ he wants us to be!

Thanks so Much for doing me today ! I have enjoyed being on this Journey with you and if you are new Here introduce Yourself in the comments below! I would love to connect with you!

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When You Lose Yourself

Posted on by Mary
Lose

It’s easy to Lose things….Keys….wallet…….sanity. But you might be thinking Mary I always know where I am! As a kid it was a favorite thing for my family to pile into the car on a sunny Sunday afternoon in hopes to get “lost” in our own community. We lived in rural Pennsylvania where once upon a time cows outnumbered people and backroads were a plenty. We even had “special roads” that were only open during the spring, summer and fall. sometimes only summer depending on the weather.

We would always find some new and exciting road that led us to somewhere we already knew BUT it might be a little terrifying in the process. We knew of some hidden roads too. Roads that you only saw when you were on top of them.

It was fun to go on these adventures. There was an adventure to this sad old church. It hadn’t seen a congregation in decades. The cemetary itself was of the thin headstones from long ago. the plots of ground were sunken in where the wooden boxes had deteriorated and turned into mulch. It seemed as though my ad had no idea where he was going at first ut we quickly realized this was a purposeful trip. My dad wanted us to see something specific.

But Let’s Be Honest with Ourselves

As much fun as it is to get “LOST” like that as a kid- getting Lost is a horrible feeling. It’s one thing that both my brothers and I learned about in scouts. it’s a three fold process- 1). How not to get lost and 2). How to stay alive if you get lost. and 3). how to get unlost (yep I just coined that word).

Getting Lost without being LOST

Sometimes we can get lost without physically being lost. This means losing sight of our purpose which is 2 parts, 1) Loving God with all of our Heart Soul, mind and Strength andStrength and 2) Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself (Luke 10:27) I see Christians do this all the time. They compromise their beliefs for a moment of…..you can fill in the blanks. Before long they loose themselves and they start buying a lie that this is now who they are or that they can’t ever get back or that God couldn’t possibly love or forgive them. They also believe that they have to get back on their own (also a lie).

But It’s not just limited to our own personal Choices

The root of this problem are the lies we choose to believe. This is also the case when we may not have made the choices but the choices were made for us. Abuse, illness, an accident, some form of trauma, losing someone close to you, financial problems, mental illness and the list can go on and on and on. We might Geel like this is just how it’s going to be. We lose sight in Who God really is. We can take on the Victim mentality or feel like we are unlovable, unworthy, a failure…You get the picture.

Losing myself

Part of the enemies plan is to distract people from what they are called to do. When we take our eyes off of that we start believing lies. Lies that destroy so much. The enemy wants to keep us from our purpose.

Ever since I was a little girl I could be found writing all sorts of things. Long before Kindergarten I knew my letters. I have a very young memory of my mom in the bathroom getting ready for the day and I was sitting outside the closed door saying “mommy how do you spell……Mom………and my mom would patiently spell out the word. I would write it down. and then I would move on to the next word. I also remember as a middle school student learning that my cousin had this paper to write and I wanted so desperately to have a paper to write too. In high school I found a whole new love that I knew nothing about. Creative writing. I would get lost in my English papers. My favorite was in 9th grade. I had to write to a historical figure and tell them about some modern technology without using words that they couldn’t understand. The possibilities were endless andI was giddy with all the ideas rolling through my head. Clearly I had a bent for writing it was my happy place (it still is). It’s just part of who God created me to be.

The journey Continues

In College is when I hit a wall and gained understanding of who I was. Technical papers were the death of me. I was so frustrated. Now I know that some of those papers I could have changed a bit and gave them more of a creative twist (Kinda like that tabernacle drawing and our Old Testament timelines -I know Dr. S. “Charles Shultz had nothing to worry about”) Let’s just say the prof was less than impressed with our sheep angels complete with wings hovering over the altar- actually I’m pretty sure he enjoyed them.

It was during this time that I learned hat I need to write to clear my brain and that release wasn’t found in papers for class. Creative writing was a release for me The first two years f college I had lost myself actually I had been lost for a while but it became glaringly obvious. It was because I had bought into two lies.

The Two Major Lies

First was this lie that I needed to fit someone else mold SO I became a social butterfly. Yes I had friends in high school but it was different. It was the type of peer group I was in. What did they expect of me? I loved my peer group in College. They were great friends and I am still friends with many of them today. I became a master morpher- all things to all people. I slept a lot. I suffered from horrible headaches. It was just BAD. It was the first time I could explore the many possibilities of ministries too and I threw myself into everything. I tried to do it all and everything came crashing down. I was exhausted. I had no idea who I really was. I just knew that what I was being told is to be successful you had to be outgoing….do lots of things…..be good at lots of things…be around lots of people…..be this…be that……fake it until you make it. Now this wasn’t necessarily the school that said this. Tor my friends. But one group you said this is the ideal and another said that is is ideal and before long You don’t know what to think and you have the extremely unattainable checklist.

Secondly there’s that whole boyfriend thing- which is basically the something as above. And when those voices start in and you let them have control you get distracted from your purpose. And it’s easy to fall in love with idea of being in love.

The Influences I let have my ear were the problem

Between these two things I lost the sense of who I really was- I settled for what everyone else told me to do. Now I am not going to sit here and pretend that I knew who I was or what I was called to do going into college . I mean I thought I did , but I didn’t. I knew I was called into full time ministry and I knew I was supposed to go to the school I was at- and that my friends is all I knew about myself going into college. I had no real talents to speak of .

Understanding my true identity

I think one of the things lacking within the church at least where I was as a teen was fully understanding my identity in Christ and I saw the same thing in other people at college. Matter of fact it wasn’t something really taught at Bible College either. I think it’s the case of everyone thinking everyone else is teaching it. It can be talked about all day long but it needs to be taught. And what we end up with is the Devotions dilemma all over again. We use terminology without explaining what it means. So hundreds of kids hear about the concept of “doing devotions” but in the end have No idea what that looks like. And we can all sit at snow camp hearing about our “identity in Christ and how we should be rooted in that” but until we are actually taught what exactly that is – we go through life grasping at straws. And the two of those problems put together is recipe for disaster.

Finding myself

In college I firmly believed that my identity was in my serving NOT the act of serving but the actual specific ministry I served in. I didn’t know then -that this too was a lie because ministries come and go. I know that we are created to serve God and make him famous. But man when I had to leave that first ministry that I had grown to love so much I was devastated. Then I jumped into a bunch of different ministries that were NOT what I was called to do and I struggled. It’s like a rebound relationship really. (This is repeated later on in ministry on a much bigger scale.)

Practice

There have been times over the last 20 years that I haven’t struggled with knowing who I was. I was actively practicing the truths I had learned. It wasn’t easy but what I would later find out is this time was was a preparation for something that nearly killed us as a family. But because I had been applying those truths I was better equipped to trust God. I couldn’t trust anyone else. And as Much as hubby and I were on the same team it shook and tested our team. We too had to trust each other on a whole new level.

A Book that Changed Everything

A number of years later I read a quote that has stuck with me. It was by Renee Swope in her Book A Confident Heart. The quote at the beginning of the book basically says that when you go through something traumatic or a big change we need to take the time to pause and really strive to gain a new understanding of how this has Changed us and who we have now become. This was exactly what my damaged and hurting heart needed to hear. Because I had endured something horrific and horribly damaging and now had no idea how I fit into things: my ministry, my parenting,, society in general. So as I read her book something deep within my soul began to shift like never before and I gained this new thing called God-fidence.

I know that some of my friends think that I coined this term but I didn’t. It’s basically taking my eyes off myself and my own strength and knowing that God ihas got this and that he’s going to use this for his powerful purpose. Ad that meant that I had to be willing to use this horrible thing for his glory. When I did that God opened a whole new ministry- actually two. And I stepped through those doors and things began to happen.

Then the Enemy Stepped In. (AGAIN)

Whenever you take big steps in faith the enemy takes notice. And when he did, he used my biggest weakness…PEOPLE PLEASING. During this time I had stepped out in faith and done some things that were bigger than any ting I had ever done before The first one was something I have always loved to do- public speaking. Yep I am weird like that. God was preparing me to step out in His confidence NOT my own…I did and what ensued was me losing myself to the negativity. The second was being a part of a large conference (as in on the planning team) and the third was to work at a Crisis pregnancy center)

A Misplaced Trust

I had been pushed by people for a number of years to do speak and I was no way ready but through my study of confidence and then influence I knew it was time. I also had been convicted that I needed to speak truth when leading and I became unpopular very quickly. I struggled with this because I was told I needed to be more bold and then when I was it back fired. It’s amazing how quickly people can turn on you. And I let myself be silenced and I began the process all over again. I had to look deep within myself and ask the hard questions. I felt like a complete and utter failure. This was quite the process this go around and it came down to 3 things.

The three things that really changed my perspective

  • First I had to be in God’s Word- and not just for knowledge. had to be reading and searching for understanding- that which changes my heart- not just swells my brain.
  • Second I needed toast my friends to critique what I was writing and saying. Because I was blamed for being a certain way I had to allow people into my life who would keep me accountable for what I was saying. Even now as I write this I know there are two women and my husband who are going to read this and be honest with m. if Ive gone too far or if I’ve come across in an ungodly way. Considering all that had happened this was extremely hard because I had some misplaced trust before.
  • Third- after I had done the hard work of one and two I had a choice to make- Change the way I looked at y writing. I mean I kinda had this perspective before but It HAD to become more solidified if I was going to continue to write- I had to set aside the critics and not let them have power over me……and in that I have to ask myself two questions
    • Why am I writing this?
    • Does this fit into my purpose? (Hebrews 10:24)

And here we are Day 45

I once read that raising kids is a cycle. You keep teaching them the same lessons over and over again but in new and deepening lessons. Isn’t that the truth but the same is true in our lives. We just keep learning the same lessons over and over again in new and deepening lessons. It gets harder and so we need to keep practicing that God-fidence.

We all lose ourselves from time to time. We all go through stuff and it’s painful. In November We are going to dive into “Our Identity In Christ.” I have a mini-series of posts already in place. It is born out of years of learning this. I have definitely not arrived in any way on this Journey. I hit some major moments where this has been a mile marker in my life but each and everyday there is a need to practice practice practice. I am still working through many aspects of this journey. I know there are plenty of people who will tell you (and me ) they have arrived BUT that is a lie.
And as a friend so aptly put it this morning….we are truly never alone. God is always with us…He will never leave us or forsake us! It’s important for us to remind ourselves of the truths we know ….hmmm didn’t I JUST write a post about that!

A Spark of Joy

One of my favorite things is when talking with an elderly person and they share what new thing they have recently learned about God! It shows me that they are being authentic. They are willing to be honest that they haven’t arrived yet. And that is the greatest testimony of all!!

How about you? Did you ever “lose” Yourself? What changed?

Thank you so much for Joining me on Day 45 of Choosing Courage- My 100 Day writing project! You Can check out the previous posts here.

When I picked Intentional….

Posted on by Mary
Intentional;

I Expected something different to happen when I chose the word intentional for the year. I think I nailed down my word for 2021 way back in September or October of 2020.

I knew somethings needed to change in how I was approaching life…..not that it was bad but I had lost myself (more on that on Wednesday next week) and with it had went my purpose. I still clung to it but it was hard to see. Something else had gotten in the way…SURVIVAL.

It’s hard to be intentional and in Survival Mode all at the same time

When we hit survival mode we are doing sometimes the bare minimum. We are kicking our legs in the proverbial swimming pool of life trying to stay afloat. Being intentional is rooted in a very strong sense of purpose. I knew what my purpose was I just Couldn’t seem to connect the dots. I was just on auto pilot all the time.

Now some of this feeling or sense of auto-pilot and exhaustion was most certainly linked to the ticking time bomb that was very quickly growing in my belly. And when it had reached it’s full capacity and needed to be dealt with I had chosen to be very intentional with Christmas. I laid out all these really cool plans and we intentionally built in family time and serving another family. BUT……that isn’t what my focus ended up being. God used that medical emergency to teach me another form of intentionality. REST and FOCUS.

Intentional REST and FOCUS

Intentional rest was going to become the necessity over the next 9 months because the medical journey was really only beginning. Rest was going to be required and I was going to need to learn to listen to my body. I couldn’t just fly into auto-pilot and do all he things now. My iron levels plummeted. I needed to be able to have a new intentional focus.

That focus was learning out to think beyond the anxiety that was becoming my new normal. At first we thought it was just related to the medical trauma that had happened but as the doctor delved deeper into blood work we started noticing that my iron levels never reached a “normal level”. Now back in December I had learned this intentional focus on a whole new level. Pain and Fear.

Pain

Pain was now a new part of my life and I am not talking about ouch a sprained my toe. It was a new level of pain…..pain that surpassed labor…..surpassed the never ending pain of a gallbladder issue and left me pretty close to the edge of insanity. I kept telling hubby at least for the labor you have a break (sometimes) between contractions. This was intense constant and really the narcotics didn’t touch it.

I really had to practice focusing on the truths I know about God and his promises. It was the only way I could make it through and it was going to be the only way I could handle the fears that would bombard me in the coming months.

Fears

The fears would race through my head as my heart began racing….and the anxiety kicked in. Faster and faster my heart would feel like it was in a race but I was laying flat on my back. My mind would take off trying to outrun my heart. Irrational fears would join the race and my body felt out of control. Something had to change and fast.

I began to learn about iron deficiency and anemia. I was making intentional choices about what I was putting into my body. I have become an unintentional expert in what foods were rich in iron. I have made some of the craziest things to eat/ drink but nothing was working. In the midst of all of that I learned something very powerful. one of the side effects of iron deficiency is AXIETY and heart racing.

Knowing this made a powerful impact on the sometimes hourly struggles I was now having. I could be even more intentional in the thoughts when they started spinning out of control!

Letting Go intentionally

If you read yesterday’s post we all struggle with letting Go. And I came face to face with letting Go in March. As we made our final decision to leave hubby’s ministry position of 12 years, I had to make a very intentional choice of letting go. I could have held on tightly to some of the things I had to let go of. But I learned a long time ago told hold things with an open hand. It’s way worse if God has to pry our fingers open and remove whatever we are holding onto.

I have watched people hold onto things and not let go as they exited ministry. It hurt so many people. And the ministry and I knew I had to be intentional about leaving. It was hard very hard. But in the end there was a sense of closure for both us and the people we were letting Go of!.

Other Intenionalities

Along the way I have also had to be intentional in so many other ways.

Intentional:

  • prayer- praying for hard things. It might mean seeing hurtful things happen but if it helps people to get back in a right relationship with Jesus
  • purpose-keeping my eye on what I am called and gifted to do rather than just filing in gaps .
  • gratitude
  • attention
  • boundaries
  • fun
  • writing/blogging
  • reading
  • family time
  • listening
  • planning
  • balance
  • no’s
  • yes’

So what I thought would turn out to be a year of choosing intentional time morphed into intentional everything.

How about you? Have you made a choice to be more intentional in a certain area only to be taken on a journey of intentionality..

I’m so glad that you joined me for day 41 of Choosing Courage 100 day blogging project. If you are just joining in you can check out the first post here. And if you have missed any of the other posts you can check them out here.

One book that has helped greatly in having Intentional thoughts is Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen You can Check her out here

2021 Joy Dare- Day 39

Posted on by Mary
Dare

Good morning friends! When I stumbled upon this Dare back in December I was going through a time of real struggle when I was seriously having trouble being grateful. I found myself being grateful for the same thing over and over again. Coffee…..coffee…coffee…sunshine (not that there was much in December here in upstate New York) and a few other things. I’m not saying that it’s bad to be grateful for the same things over and over again, but sometimes we have tunnel vision and we lose sight of all the other blessings God has given to us. And then I “just happened” to stumble upon this Dare while scrolling through Pinterest. I had already read Ann Voskamp’s Book One Thousand gifts so I was intrigued. I checked out all the images and I was certain this is what I needed When I chose this challenge for this year I had no idea what the rest of the year held BUT God did!

Are you willing…..

So I want to ask you are you willing To take this Dare? The great thing is- you don’t have to commit to the full year! You can just start with one month AND you can start Any time! It really is so simple and it changes your perspective! I Dare you to take this challenge~

Day 17- 3 Gifts Ugly Beautiful

  1. gloomy gray skies-so sad yet intriguing
  2. broken lives changed by Jesus- amazing
  3. Dying fields- turning brown- yet there is a beautiful fall aesthetic

Day 18- A Gift fixed, folded, freckled

  1. fixed-Hubby putting LED light fixtures in my craft room
  2. folded- clothes that are folded in the Cedar Chest for the future
  3. freckled-Kiddo’s #4’s freckled face!

Day 19- 3 gifts In Conversation

  1. Conversations with my prayer team this week
  2. Conversations with our future Bible study leader
  3. Hubby had a very encouraging conversation with a friend in ministry

Day 20- 3 gifts in Salvation

  1. Grace
  2. Hope
  3. Peace

Day 21- 3 gifts in information

  1. Books
  2. Podcasts
  3. Conferences

Day 22- 3 Gifts rattling, receding, redeemed

  1. Rattled- my emotions this week as I have continually come face to face with some hard realities and broken relationships (not mine but ones of close friends-it’s hard to watch)
  2. Receding- a falling away- it hurts to see. it’s painful to watch
  3. redeemed- Countless stories that I can name right now where God took brokenness and turned them into something beautiful. He redeemed those moments for His Glory

Day 23-  3 gifts in silence

  1. early mornings
  2. Outside devotions
  3. spare moments stolen away in my craft room

I’m so glad you came by for the Joy Dare this week and I’m praying You all have a fabulous week full of gratitude and Joy!

And how about You what have you found joy in this week?

For more Joy Dare posts click here and for more Choosing Courage Posts click here.

To Check out The Joy Dare and One Thousand Gifts  by Ann Voskamp click here.