Category: daily life

Choosing Courage.: You Never Knew Me

Posted on by Mary
Choosing

Good evening everyone! Welcome to post #12 in the Choosing Courage project. I hope you have had a great week! I have a very interesting question for you tonight! Have you ever invested time into someone- given them all of your heart (I’m not talking about a spouse necessarily), just to be all of a sudden accused of being a horrible person in some shape or form.? You are left standing there with the pieces of your shattered relationship laying at your feet and the overwhelming sense of “You never really knew me”?

If we are honest we all have (especially if you were a girl in middle school. We also have the tendency to either take offense far too easily or project our own problems on other people (more on this in a future blog post).

Grace upon Grace, Mercy upon Mercy

No matter which side you are on it’s important to remember that our ultimate goal as believers in Jesus is to be Christ emulators. And Jesus was full of GRACE and MERCY. I know some people aren’t naturally bent towards these traits. We need to work very hard to be like Christ. It takes practice and sometimes blowing it and then being able to learn from those mistakes.

It also takes a great measure of humility to admit that we don’t know everything. The only person who really knows our Hearts is God himself. Even we ourselves don’t know our own hearts because emotions can be severely deceptive. We can convince ourselves of lies both about ourselves and our closest of friends and when we let those lies and emotions take over and we lose sight of who Jesus really is and how we are supposed to love! UNCONDITIONALLY!

FORGIVE

This is the ultimate act of Christ like behavior , especially if you forgive before you are asked to forgive. Jesus provided the ultimate gift of forgiveness before anyone ever knew they needed forgiving..

Forgiveness is HARD. Especially when we have been hurt whether intentionally and unintentionally! But it is a choice we must make.

STOP PLAYING GOD

When we assume that we know someone’s heart , we are playing God. I know that’s hard to hear. But we all do it. And it’s so important to admit that flaw and move forward to understanding. That’s what we need to strive for understanding and love rather that assumptions and gossip. It’s our job to extend Grace and mercy so we can become the picture of true Christ-like love.

But how ado we do that? It Comes to to CHOOSING…..

It starts with some Courageous choices that goes against the world’s perspective.

  1. Choose to acknowledge that you don’t have all the understanding of peoples motives. When we assume we know their motives we are saying we know them better than God. And in doing that we show that we don’t really know them,
  2. Choose to Die to self. Put others before yourself and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Value other people and their insights I had a history teacher who had a phrase he used to say “There is a world outside of Hetlerville. Yes that’s a real place. But the point is we get so stuck with seeing what is in our immediate location that we lose sight that the world is a much bigger place. The same is true fore us as individuals. When we get so wrapped up in our own little worlds and all the drama in our lives we fail to see what other people are going through. and even sometimes we take the struggles we are having and project them onto those around us.
  3. Choose Grace and mercy. It doesn’t matter of you are good at these things or not. we need to actively choose these! When we do so we will grow and we get better and better. But remember you can’t give what you don’t have.

These three choices are just the beginning! There is a part two of this coming soon…..So what will you be choosing to do? For me it’s forgiveness but more on that in the next post.

But while you wait you can check out the other CHOOSING COURAGE posts here

Joy Dare- One Thousand Gifts

Posted on by Mary
Joy

Happy Thursday and you know what that means! It’s Joy Dare Day. (It is also Day 11 of my Choosing Courage 100 day writing project) it’s the part of my week when I share about all of the little joys God has brought into my life. Those simple little blessings that I take for granted on a regular basis and this daily act of gratitude brings them front and center..

Joy

Day 20- 3 gifts in serving

  • watching people grow in their walk with Jesus.
  • seeing God meet unspoken needs
  • my own personal walk with Jesus growing leaps and bounds when I trust him to use me.

Day 21- A gift straight, curved, turn

  • Straight- colorful pencils (I got a great deal on a nice brand of colored pencils
  • curve- bananas
  • turn- the next bend in our path

Day 22- 3 gifts in Light

  • a new day
  • Christmas
  • our table outside

Day23- 3 gifts old

  • our parents -Both sets(they aren’t very old but older….) No way I can say this will turn out nicely! but I don’t mean it in a bad way!
  • our furniture handed to us from family. we have someaniques passed down from family and friends
  • Books!

Day 24- 3 gifts meaning

  • Our kids- they are always going on an adventure
  • Our animals are always doing something comical
  • our vehicle getting us from one place to the next.

Day 25- 3 gifts Fragile

  • Eggs- from our neighbor
  • cute little birthday gifts from my parents
  • Hearts opened to each other

Day 26- A gift cut, sewn and buttoned

  • Cut- A freshly cut lawn (I love that smell)
  • Sewn- A patched set of bean bag chairs that are well loved
  • Buttoned-Details all buttoned up- I love to finish things. and move forward.

I’m glad you could join me on this gratitude journey. It really is amazing just how much our hearts change when our perspective changes! There is always something to be grateful for- even in the hard stuff.

How about you? What are some little blessings that you are grateful for? What brings you Joy? Let me know in the comments below.

You can check out more about the Book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp by clicking here and you can check out more about the Joy dare by visiting her website here.

You Can also check our my other posts in my Choosing Courage Project by clicking here

Thank you again for doing me on my journey. I look forward to hearing from you in the comments

What I Know -Choosing Courage -Day 10

Posted on by Mary
Know

Good evening sweet friends! Welcome to Day 10 of my Choosing Courage Project. Today we are going to talk about “What I know”. the great thing is what I know is what you can know too.

But First the back story

I know I have shared what my December looked like but what I haven’t shared was how much of a mental struggle it was.

As a family we grew leaps and bounds throughout the whole season of lockdown.. We made it as much fun as we possibly could and did a lot of really awesome stuff together. We did long distance daily lego challenges with an uncle and a cousin. During the summer we had friends over to play on our slip n slide. and Christmas was shaping up to be a fun one too. I had made a fun advent calendar. Each day held a fun family activity and a reverse advent calendar where we put an item of food in a box and then donated it to a family.

Everything was going great until December 8th. That was the first of three trips to the ER and for the next three days we lived in complete uncertainty as to why my body had quit doing a very simple task that we all do every single day (sorry for now that’s all the details you get). The did a quick fix and sent me home. 2 days later I found myself right back there and this time I got some answers…and I knew what it meant…or at least I thought I did. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the phrase “you are a very special case”. and I would continue to prove them right all through the month of December.

A week later I had a special procedure and I was told that I would be in the worst pain I have ever experienced and they weren’t wrong. I made it through Christmas and the pain was finally subsiding. I knew surgery was coming and then the pain started- different pain on the 27th.

Back to the ER on the 28th

Up until this point I was exhausted and in pain but my focus had been where it should be on Jesus. But when I found myself in what felt like labor. I can’t tell you how many times that day that I was a very special case and hat “we have never seen anything quite like this” and off to the ER I went again.

And at this point I was at my breaking point. I felt like I was losing my mind. Have you ever been in such excruciating pain that wouldn’t stop. You seriously feel like you are going crazy….or at least I did. and then I reached out to my friends in tears I wrote “I feel like I am making life difficult for everyone right now I’m struggling to see the purpose in this for sure.” I was laying a lone In the ER for the third time, I was mentally, physically and emotionally spent. I felt like I had completely ruined Christmas for everyone. I had spent weeks a lone on the apartment. We had a kid in quarantine and hubby was trying to keep me healthy because we knew I had to have surgery but not sure when. On December 28th God took surgery off the table.

After that post one of my friends sent me a devotional she had read the same morning. Are you ready for the title?

When you Don’t Understand God’s Timing ……REALLY?? I can’t make this stuff up! The author, Alicia Bruxvoort.

Here’s the excerpt of that devotional.

But I’m learning that when God’s timing doesn’t match my pining, I need to focus on what I know rather than what I feel. So, I turn to Ecclesiastes 3:11 and read the words of King Solomon:

“God has given [us] a desire to know the future. He does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what he is doing.”

This verse helps me filter my frustration through God’s unchanging truth. It reminds me that my delays aren’t a sign of God’s indifference, but an expression of His wisdom. 

I’ll never fully understand the complexities of God’s eternal plan while I’m bound to the dust of earth. But I can place my hope in God’s integrity even when I can’t comprehend His itinerary.

When my hope is tied to God’s trustworthiness instead of His timing, it changes my attitude in the waiting.

I am prone to recall His faithfulness instead of questioning His fairness. (Psalm 77:11)

I am able to respect His wisdom instead of disputing His ways.

I am inclined to celebrate His majesty instead of second-guessing His motives.

But, best of all, when I place the crux of my faith on the trustworthiness of God’s character, I discover an unexpected gift in the grit of delay.

It’s that first line that really hit me….”ut I’m learning that when God’s timing doesn’t match my pining, I need to focus on what I know rather than what I feel.”

I was having a whole lot of really raw and scary feelings (The was compounded by some anxiety induced by low iron levels that couldn’t even be registered in my blood work.

Where “What I know ” was born.

That sentence changed everything and gave bye a change of perspective. Right then and there I started going over and over in my head all the truth I knew about God and you know what I learned? When you are in intense pain AND have morphine coursing through your system your memory is NOT GOOD AT ALL! and so I purposed in my heart togo on a learning adventure when I got home. I would write down all of my “learning is a set of spiral bound set of index cards.

Know

I wrote these items don- all scripture based and when I have struggled I turn to that little tool . It is amazing just how many promises and characteristics of God cam during that time. They were everywhere (They still are).

I think so often that we are going through something we look for a quick fix. I could have jumped to a tool that had all of these things already done fore me but for this time and circumstance, I needed to go on this journey by myself. Reading and searching God’s word for these gems.

So What Now?

I’m still adding to this notebook. These note cards have helped many a night when the anxiety sky- rockets as my iron level dropped. It slipped easily into my purse when going to a doctor’s appointment that triggered fear and anxiety.

I continue this journey with what I know because feelings are deceitful and can mislead us.

How about you? Do you have a plan in place for when you are facing fear and anxiety? How do you keep your mind focused on what you know rather than our misleading feelings? Let me know in the comments below !

For more of the Choosing Courage posts click here.

Week 1 Update – Choosing Courage

Posted on by Mary
Update

It’s day 9 and here is an update

Wow When I said that I was totally dumbfounded that 9 days have flown by so quickly but then in the next breath I say only 91 more todays. YIKES I need to stop that.

I have finished nearly 25% of the book (Hello Fears). Note I am only blogging through the book and I cannot yet recommend the book. I will write a full review at the end of the book. I don’t usually blog though a book like this, The verdict is out on whether I ever do it again,

How am I doing?

The first few days were rough. Fears were tough to fight through but I pushed through those and faced my fears, I posted two blog posts off my list of posts I have been putting off And I shared my artwork. I have managed to blog every single day without missing a single day, TOUGH it it did result in some late nights. Including an evening with some pretty severe stomach issues relating to a very obvious bad food choice.

Now at this point I am not really thinking much about what I fear before I hit the publish button. I am not so naive to think that those little fears won’t rear their ugly little heads again.

All of This has shown me that despite our crazy schedules that I still can find time to blog. A lie I had bout into for awhile now. It’s amazing what we tell ourselves when we are fearful of something. And that I can write without being afraid.

A personal update

it’s been 3-ish weeks since my last iron infusion and I am noticing a huge difference. The severe anxiety is almost non-existent. My heart is not racing non-stop. The icky taste in my mouth is fading. I am sleeping better. I am not short of breath And I can make it through most days without a nap or without going to lay down between 7 and 8 pm.. My mind is clearer and I am able to get way more done in the day.

Today I had an appointment with the Allergist who also specializes in immunology. I have had low IGG and IGA levels for sometime. So Over the last 5 weeks I have been (hopefully) growing antibodies. only managed to grow about 40% of what I should have. So starting within the next week or so I will start getting monthly infusions of antibodies . It’s a two hour process so I need to line up my future reading! I mean I have my list – so I guess I won’t be bored. I think I need to come up with something else to do as well. Goodness two hours to just sit and read. maybe I need a list of podcasts to listen to as well.

Family update

Our oldest two are embarking on their second year of soccer. And everyone is starting our second year of homeschooling. Hubby is in full swing of the church search and we are moving forward in every area. We are excited to wrap up the summer with some slip n slide fun with friends and just like that we slide into a new school year.

Thanks for hanging out with me through this first week of Choosing Courage and if you are new here you can check out the other 9 days by clicking here.

Happy Homemaker Monday Day 8- 8/23/2021

Posted on by Mary

Hey Happy Homemaker Monday Friends. It’s been a while! If you are interested in checking out why we took a leave of absence from my blog and all things social media you can check out my blog post here…..It’s been quite the journey

Happy

The weather….. 

You can certainly tell it is nearing the end of the summer here in upstate NY! Cooler mornings and evenings and we are now camping in the mid to upper 70’s and low 80’s. It’s also been an extremely WET summer for sure.

Right now I am….

writing this post at the kitchen table I REALLY need to clean off the table when I’m done!

Thinking….

about our new journey we are on. It has it’s ups and downs.  But it has been an adventure and we wouldn’t want to be on it with anyone else but each other.

On my reading pile…. 

Hello fears, Get Out of Your Head and S.H.A.P.E.

On my TV….. 

Touched By an Angel (It’s been a long time)

On the menu for this week….
Monday – Chicken and Biscuits
Tuesday –  Taco Salad
Wednesday -Pasta and Meat Sauce
Thursday Shepherds Pie
Friday – Chef Salads
Saturday -Chicken thighs and corn on the cob in the smoker. Sunday –  Chili

On my to do list….

Finish up last minute homeschooling stuff, cleaning, organizing

In the craft basket…. 

Finish up a cactus painting

Looking forward to this week…. 

Slip N Slide fun with friends

Looking around the house….

 LOTS of deep cleaning. We have lots of boxes around too so we are really in limbo.

From the camera….

We have had some great sunset pictures as of late and everyone in the house loves capturing them in photos. This gen was a rainbow that showed up with NO rain. The rain showed up about an hour later.

Happy

On my prayer list…..

Friends and family who are really struggling with death, and sickness. friends who have a lot of personal things going on. Afghanistan. Haiti. Friends who are recovering from surgeries. Wisdom and patience in many areas

Bible verse, Devotional….

Philippians 1:12-19 NIV

12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters,[a]that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard[b] and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.

15 It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16 The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance

For More Happy Homemaker Posts Check out The Diary of a Stay at Home Mom