Category: daily life

Hindsight is “2020”

Posted on by Mary
2020

I know I know, you are saying “MARY! Why on earth do you want to go back to 2020…DO YOU REMEMBER DECEMBER!?!” The Answer is Yes I do remember 2020….Yes I do remember December 2020- but the problem is the question. I DO want to December 2020. I DON’T want to RELIVE. December!

Remembering is what Keeps us from Repeating

We all know the phrase “history repeats itself”. And it is so true. History teaches us so many things and when we don’t remember it’s obvious we forget and when we forget….and when we forget history repeats itself. weened to learn from our mistakes….and others mistakes. I am going to address this in the next couple of weeks in a blog post about the importance of those who have gone before us.

In some Christian circles today we tend to forget those courageous believers who have fought some amazing battles for the faith and we tend to put stock in those still walking out their faith today. this was a realization for me in 2020 as some major “influencers of the faith” fell off their proverbial pedestals and shocked us all. the problem is this:

  • they never belonged there in the first place
  • they haven’t finished the race yet!!!

I have been let down by a fair share of humans….HUMAN Christians to be exact. I am sure I have let people down too. BECAUSE I ASSURE you I AM HUMAN (my kids might disagree- at least I didn’t claim to be a normal human). I am not perfect and nor do I claim to be and yet I know that people put me on a higher plain because I am a pastor’s wife. I make mistakes. I blow it. I need Grace Mercy and Love just as much as anyone else on the face of this planet.

This is why modeling our lives after people who have finished the race well, those who have gone before use and fought the good fight make excellent role models. (But more on this in a few weeks)

What I learned in 2020
  • I have learned to set my sights on Jesus. There are lots of people in this world who will try to tell you what you are thinking feeling and what your motives are. The reality is I am not accountable to them.
  • I have learned to ask hard questions of my friends and husband, especially when accused of something. Sometimes our emotions get the better of us and we can’t see through them to the truth. Now this only works if you have friends who won’t pull any punches with you.
  • I have learned to speak up! For others that is.
  • I have learned how to rely on my husband in some new ways and to be honest about the state of my body in needing rest.
  • I have learned to ask for help.
  • I have learned to say “I need to go to the ER”.
  • I have learned to let people go.
  • I have learned to trust God with the smallest of details in a moment by moment situation when I am not sure if I can last a second longer in some of the worst pain in my life.
  • I have learned to let goals go. (and with that some self made ideals)
  • I have learned to say yes to God in new ways and no to people in others.
  • I have learned to love in new ways and pray in new ways.
  • I learned how many tiles were in an ER cubicle at the hospital ( I was on morphine- I know it was over 300 little squares but can remember exactly).
  • I learned how to use a bullet journal.
  • I learned how to have fun while in pain.
  • I learned how to put into practice the re-counting of WHAT I KNOW. (blog post coming next week)

And the list goes on and on. now you might say Mary how on earth can remember how many tiles on the ER room ceiling help you in the future- well it will help me to remember to bring a book with me the next time or to grab my phone from my purse so I can read from their.

In short 2020 taught me to Have Joy in the hardships (HA I told you I needed joy for a second year- now I know Why!). 2020 taut me how tobe intentional IN. Every. Single. THING. And now I am taking what I learned in 2020 and putting it into practice. That’s why this month is going to be focused on {intentional}LOVE. Because I can now loo back at 2020 and see the lessons I have learned it’s now my job to apply them.

In September of 2020 I really started paying attention to the thereof being Intentional and making very intentional choices and I kicked off that journey with a post called Intentionally Social: 3 Reasons to Keep Social Media. And since I wrote that post I have made an active choice to change the way I have been using social media. I always tried to use it the way I am now but it was haphazard . Now I am actively asking myself everyday- specifically my devotions and reading- WHAT DO I WANT TO REMEMBER FROM THIS……and I post it. If it helps or ministers to someone else great but I am choosing to intentionally use Facebook memories to REMEMBER!

So how about you what have you been learning in 2020? what has God been teaching you?

(Remember this is a positive place and we need to keep it kind and uplifting and if it doesn’t fit in the parameters of 1 Thessalonians 5:11 it will be deleted!)

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

February Monthly Goals- 2021

Posted on by Mary
February

Happy February everyone. I am so happy to hit the ground running this month because honestly January was spent playing catch up after some health issues in December but I am back better that ever and I am sooooo ready..

Here’s a couple of Changes:

While in the hospital in December I decided it was time to take blogging and the reading challenge I participate in each year to a new level. After watching some Youtube videos I decided that a bullet journal was the way to go. And actually the last day I left the hospital hubby and I stopped at a craft store and purchased one. I kew Was about to have some excessive spare time on my hands and so I began figuring it out.

February
Bullet Journal

The next change is a whole new way to schedule my blog content and I started my mapping out the free time I had. I think sometimes we buy into a lie that we don’t have free time (I know I did) especially with homeschooling 4 kids and a busy ministry and so on.

February
A glimpse at my weekly schedule

And then the next thing I did was look at my LONG list of blog topics and pick a to-blog list. Another big lie I told myself is that I had no content (HA!) a quick scan of my computer graphics folder and my notebook showed otherwise.

February

I know some of these won’t get written this month but they are the ones that are “on deck” or next.

Goals for February
  • write in journal every other day- this isn’t blogging or tied to my devotions this is just a journal with writing prompts. It is solely used as practice in filling up the lines. I use it to practice descriptive language
  • write at least 12 blog posts (this was the same as last month- I am close I wrote 9)
  • Work on blogging schedule.
  • Work on a Phone usage schedule- this is more difficult due to the ministry perspective but it’s coming together.
  • Complete 5 books
    • In His Image
    • Voyage of the Dawn Treader
    • I’d Rather Be Laughing
    • The Powerful Purpose of Introverts
    • S.H.A.P.E.
  • Begin (again) my Philippians Study- I started it last year and became frustrated with the study method I was using so I let it go and I decided to just go back to my Bible study method I worked on and have created a hybrid version of a couple different methods. I guess I can go back to the old adage “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
February
  • Finish any two notebooks (I finished a sketchbook earlier this week and I am in line to finish a journal by the end of the month)
  • Craft closet- also needs some help after the holidays
  • and our bathroom needs some deep cleaning after some remodeling (It’s not finished just deeds some cleaning up
  • Re-implement my morning exercise routine as the medical stuff cancelled ALL of that!

And that’s it in a nutshell. I am excited because last month I was still in recover mode and I still made big progress so hopefully the month of February will follow.

How about you what are your goals for the month of February and what do you use to help you meet your goals.

My 2021 Joy Dare- Week 4

Posted on by Mary
Joy
Joy

Happy Thursday everyone. I hope you have had a fabulous week! Can you believe we are doing our final full week of the Joy Dare for the month of January?

Well let’s jump right into hopefully awhat was a joy filled week.

January 22nd-28th

January 22nd- A gift wrinkled, smoothed and unfolded
  • wrinkled- any number of J’s artwork I find on the kitchen table or desks
  • smoothed- our blankets on our freshly made bed, every time I walked into our room I get a massive sense of peace
  • unfolded- notes from hubby in a bin from college that will someday be emptied into scrapbooks
January 23rd- 3 gifts found in Christ
  • Grace- I do not deserve salvation and yet I can have it as a free gift
  • Mercy- I deserve horrible punishment and yet I am gifted grace
  • Unconditional love- Love inspire of myself
January 24th- 3 thing in blue
  • my 3 blue watercolor pencils. I think they are probably my favorite in the set
  • My reading glasses that have rescued me through the last two months (my eyes had a hard time adjusting after my first procedure) They came to my rescue
  • a blue Tupperware container as a gift
January 25th- A grace found, borrowed, inherited
  • borrowed- sewing patterns borrowed from a friend
  • Found- my Cricut cords…I can’t even!
  • inherited- old dishes inherited from Mimi and another lady named Mary- Classsics I never plan to part with!
January 26th -A Joy before Dawn, at noon and after dark
  • before dawn- quiet time with Jesus before all the crazy kicks in
  • at noon- break time for luck for the kiddos and I can focus on writing/ blogging and the like
  • winding down for the evening think about the day ahead praying and planning for God to do amazing things
January 27th- 3 gifts in the kitchen
  • plenty of food- needs met
  • gifts to share- plenty of food to share with those in need or experiencing sickness or hardship made with love
  • things of beauty created by loving hands of family and friends
January 28th- 3 gifts found in friends
  • A- a friend that has stood the test of time and trials
  • C-a new friend (relatively speaking) challenges me in my growth
  • S- an old friend stead and true honest

I must confess this list was DIFFICULT one to choose just 3. there are so many but these three really all have the same qualities. And the best part is they make me better! They challenge me in my walk with God and they stick with me when I fail…AND I HAVE HAD SOME PRETTY BIG FAILS! They love me unconditionally!

How about you? what were some sparks of Joy for you this week?

Remember you can check out the Joy dare by going to Ann Voskamp’s website by clicking here.

Haven’t read her book One Thousand Gifts check it out here (not an affiliate link)

Weekly Update- Finish {Well}

Posted on by Mary
Finish

2 Timothy 4:7- Finish {well}

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2020 was a race, an extremely long marathon. Our December seemed like the Longest stretch of them all and It was our goal inspire of everything going on in our lives to not just finish BUT finish WELL.

Finishing

Finish Well- It is usually a blog post you would write at the end of something NOT at the beginning. Writing this blog post was supposed to happen at the beginning of December- as we finished up 2020 I wanted to challenge us all (myself included) to finish well…..AND THEN DECEMBER HAPPENED.

I woke up one completely normal Wednesday morning and within a few hours we realized that it wasn’t so normal and I was rushed off to the hospital to be dropped off at the entrance of the ER….ALONE. I walked out of there that day with no answers and in more pain than I came in. I would return two days later in even greater pain. In total four hospital trips. IT WAS HARD. And I was struggling. Finishing really did just look like the next step- the next second and in one painful morning. they next breath. NO ONE knew what was going on that morning……That morning I wasn’t sure I could take the next. finishing well wasn’t in my mind…SURVIVING well was.

Two weeks into January and I am finically finding the words- words that couldn’t be spoken even a week ago. My hubby was scared, my kids were scared….I was scared because in those moments when no one not even the doctors know what is going on…it’s scary.

Starting

As much as finishing well wasn’t an option, starting well is. The week of New Years I found myself back in the Dr’s office Tuesday Morning, which led to another ER trip which led to being dropped off alone, this time in the most excruciating pain of my life- it rivaled 4 labors and a horrible gallbladder attack. and in the end resulted in an emergency procedure that left me feeling almost normal. I came home Wednesday afternoon. and a waiting game ensued…..waiting to hear lab results. Saturday they came Benign. I cried. All of the emotion of the previous month bubbled out.

I could have worried and fretted fearing the worst and I ca tell you that God and I conversed each and everyday about the subject. I was concerned.

What the new Year looks Like

  • Grace Goals– When I was planning for the end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021 I knew somethings had to change. Back in October and I had become aware of something and it hurt me very deeply. It kinda destroyed me- or at least it almost did. I almost let it- Hubby and I had really hashed it out (it wasn’t a Him and I thing). the realities I’m a people pleaser and it was something God was rooting out, and that’s when I found Grace Goals By Arabah Joy. I had taken the month before December to really work through all the hard process and watched the replay of the 4 hour bootcamp. I prayed and journaled my way through the process I set my goals and for the first time in a very long time I didn’t feel fear as I blogged. Fear of what other people thought. I am here to please Jesus NOT people.
  • What I know vs. what I feel!- there is a bigger blog post coming on this subject but THIS changed my end of there year and really helped me to finish better than I thought it was going to end.
  • Blog posts.- As I transferred my list of blog posts from one planner to another and corralled ALL of the blog post images I came to realize I have 27 blog posts waiting in the Wings for this year. THAT’S exciting for me. I know a few will be smooshed together. I am excited to restart this journey for sure.
  • Changes- This is kinda funny I have already had to change up the blogging schedule because of changes! I removed a blog series I was hoping to do called Put Off…Put On. I was really hoping that this little study I was doing everyday would translate into blog posts but at this current time it’s not quite flowing the way I had envisioned hopefully someday it might!
  • MONDAYS- As the New year rolls back in it is Hubby’s goal to get me back to church on Mondays – As a introverted mom of 4 kids who is homeschooling them I need a break and their homeschool curriculum is all on the computer so it’s easy for Hubby to give me a day off. we started it in the fall before all chaos broke loose and I have yet to return so for the time being I have been “sent to my room- aka my craft room”. It’s a little more difficult in the house because mom is one Alexa drop in away or just a trip upstairs. I really appreciate the time to have focused study and writing time and it has allowed me some quiet time for sure.

As we keep moving forward on this journey I want to do a weekly check-in. I hope to Next month join another book reviewing venture- I can’t wait for that opportunity again.

I hope that each of you have had opportunity to finish well! Let me know ways in the comments below that you have found to help you finish well.

Blessings, Mary

Intentional…..2021 {WORD}

Posted on by Mary

Each Year I choose a word (intentionally). 2019 I choose JOY, and when 2020 rolled around around I felt the innate sense that JOY needed to stay my word for 2020 AFAIN…..hmmmmm….I wonder why. But then December of 2020 rolled around. I try to be intentional with my word each year. Now I am not one to label events to a year and I am not about to do that with this circumstance either. First let’s go back to November, the beginning of November that is.

That’s when I decided what 2021’s Oe word would be……

Intentional

Low and behold I had no idea what in the world was about to happen. We had a great Thanksgiving and first week of December. I was in full swing of planning for 2021. And the very first Bible Study of 2021 was scheduled to be Intentional Gratitude.

And then I woke up the second Wednesday of December and life swirled out of control….(I’m gonna spare you all the extremely gory details) but it involved the first of 3 emergency room visits and life came to a screeching halt.Since that day I have had 3 emergency room visits, 5 Doctor’s visits, 2 emergency procedures, 1 MRI, 1 CAT scan, 2 Ultrasounds, 2 overnight stays in the hospital (that’s 4 total hospital visits total…..and warning TMI moment 11 attempts at…NEVERMIND…..its 11 attempts at something that was excruciatingly painful for me and that is all ya really need to know.

……and I found myself smack in the middle of needing to be intentionally joyful and intentionally grateful because life had me in so much pain that I required Narcotics and Jesus. Yes you read that correctly.

Originally I had areas I “planned” on being intentional in. But I have become ever more aware of how God’s plans are not my plans and His ways are not my ways.

My plan was intentional…

  • gratitude
  • service
  • family time
  • blog
  • home
  • relationship with Jesus
  • hubby
  • relationships with others in general

If you know me some of those things come naturally. Like service- it’s one of my spiritual gifts .

But since all of this has Happened I have had to reconsider some and add others.

  • service for me is an “active” thing- and right now action is not something I can do very much of. So service has taken on a different look- right now it is heavily rooted in prayer and texting and phone calls ( oh wait that’s been a lot of 2020!!!)
  • Taking care of our home has not been something I can do right now. It took all of my strength and energy tp write out our weekly menu and grocery list.
  • My relationship with Jesus has jumped to a whole new level….more on that in a later post.
  • I’ve added intentional “REST”. Sometimes that requires sleep and other times it means stepping away because my body is so exhausted. Exhausted currently holds a whole new meaning for me and I cannot yet put it into words.
  • intentional emotions. Emotions in these situations can spin out of control, especially when extreme pain is wrecking your whole body.
  • Intentional breathing- NO JOKE. when you are in extreme pain you forget to take deep breaths and I am so grateful for a friend who would remind me over the phone to control my breathing and take deep breaths. It’s these practical reminders that can calm a very serious situations.
  • Intentional honesty- admitting where I am at. It’s easy for me to ask people and care for others in their situations but it’s another for me to say here’s where I am at and I’m really struggling with. I have a great group of friends I can do this with. No judgement because they REALLY know me. (They don’t just think they know me or my intentions) and in those moments they are so gracious and willing to share truth not just pat answers. One of them shared a devotional that really reminded me to really think on what I know NOT on what I am feeling. (More on that later too)

In closing

I want to leave you with my verses for the year

intentional

I fully believe that I am in full swing on really learning what these verses mean. It’s one thing to know “what “they mean. I know WHAT they mean but it’s another story to take these verses and fully apply them to our lives- that the difference between knowing and living God’s word (aka is the Bible a textbook to you?) HA another post!! coming your way….I think all of these count as intention blog posts!.

Well Let me know what your word and verses are for the year in the comments below!