I mentioned in my last blog post that I needed to have surgery. Well it’s six days out from that.
I have a very large non-cancerous tumor slowly trying to remodel my insides.
Some days I have no pain. Other days I have pain that rivals child birth. Your insides were not meant to be remodeled. God put them right where they needed to be.
A Miserable Day Turned Funny
Today was a Pain day. I have gone 3 days with little to no pain. Then I wake up this morning BAM. No warning. Today also happens to be pre-op appointment day. So off to the city in the North. Just constant waves of pain. You don’t need the rest of the details. Needless to say it was miserable.
Until….
I took a new med. New meds make me nervous. I once had to take a muscle relaxer…..1 pill knocked me out for 3 days. There’s a reason why I only take 1/2 a Benadryl. And why Prednisone is on my no-no list with all the Drs offices.
I can have strong med reactions.
I liken Prednisone to a real life stupid pill for me. I cannot function at all. Not even to make coffee!
So I’m hesitant.
There’s a reason they tell you to start at bedtime!
Well I was in so much pain by the time I got back to church that I was desperate. I couldn’t sit, stand, or lay down to get relief. So I broke down and took the pill and waited for the promised “knock out”. FYI it never came.
Instead what I got was the fuzzy brain feeling, then this general all over numb feeling. Then the brain disconnected from the thumbs and eyeballs. I couldn’t string thoughts together to type a text message. I couldn’t read the book I’ve been working on- took me thirty minutes to read 4 paragraphs. Pretty sure I’m going to have to go back and read those 4 paragraphs again.
Ron asked me what I wanted for dinner (via text). I told him what I wanted…dozed off .. told him NEVERMIND …dozed off again….told him something completely different ….dozed off again.
Needless to say we managed to get dinner figured out. I scrolled and dropped my phone on my face at least twice while I waited.
I am fed and my stomach is MOSTLY happy.
When I went to the kitchen I kept tripping over my own two feet and I dropped two bottles out of the fridge. It felt like some comedic actor pretending they had too much to drink.
So where does the thankful come in?
I look back at today and I can say Thank you Jesus I don’t have any pain right now. This is the most pain free I’ve been in ages.
I can be thankful that I could eat something. And I can be thankful that I have a sense of humor. That I can look at today and say wow that was ENTERTAINING.
When I got back to church I was frustrated with the whole situation. I prayed about it . I thanked God for so many things (this was after I took the med-it will be an interesting read later). Ann Voskamp calls it the Hard Eucharisteo! Choosing to be thankful even in the hardest of circumstances. In her book One Thousand gifts she talks about her son’s hand getting caught in the farm exhaust fan. My stomach tightens as I remember her description of the event.
I can be thankful over the next 6 days and in the recovery time for silly things like not being able to type a message or tripping over air . I can be thankful for a med that helps with pain. I can be thankful for friends.
Sometimes we get wrapped up IN all the gunk we are experiencing that we forget just how kind God is. Tar-Leigh Cobble talked about this a while ago in the Bible ReCap- she brought up from the psalms that God is kind. And how as believers we don’t really ever talk about Gods kindness. I firmly believe that humor is one of the many ways God is kind to us.
So take a long look at your hard day….what was funny? What made you giggle?
I already shared mine…but here’s another from our trip north. We passed a store named Dazed….they sell cannabis. You’re welcome.
Thank God for the giggles he brought your way.
I think Tara had it right. She has wrecked my brain and my heart about us not talking about Gods kindness. So I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to bring attention to it.
How has God been kind to you!? Tell me in the comments!
